QMusings

Words of wisdom can be found in the unlikeliest of places.

Prior to getting poked with holes number 2 (Tetanus) and 3 (H1N1 Vaccine), I sat on top of the exam room table wearing a blue paper gown.

If you’re not sick, waiting in an exam room is pretty boring. If you’re wearing a paper gown, it goes from boring to tedious.

A magazine lay nearby so I reached over to pick it up.  I ignored the wandering thought of how many other near-naked and possible sick people touched it before me.

It was a magazine by WebMD and what caught my eye was the tagline, “The magazine designed specifically for the waiting room.”

Talk about a target audience!

A starlet was on the cover. So far, nothing different than most waiting room fare.

I flip through the table of contents and come across an article about happiness.

I read about how people seem to have a “happiness set point.”  I’d come across the concept before.  The theory is that each person is born with a built in level of happiness.  For any given event, a person will return to their happiness point.

Let’s say the event is winning millions of dollars.

For a person who tends to be upbeat and happy – they’ll experience a spike in happiness or happy feelings but after a while, return to their baseline.

For a person who tends to be morose, they too will experience a happy spike but after some time, the usual dark thoughts will bring them down.

Now let’s take those same two people and have them experience something awful like becoming paralyzed. The tend-to-be-happy person will go through a very low period in their life but at some point, they will rebound. If the glass-is-always empty person became paralyzed, they would also  sink to an emotional low point but at some point, they would recover.

How many of you know someone who you suspect will never be happy? I’ve met a few – something great happens and they feel great.  Some time goes by and back they are complaining. I’ve also known people who have a talent for happiness.

So here I am wearing a paper gown sitting atop an exam table reading the words, “Happiness is not a destination.”

It’s true. I’ve thought I’d be happier if I made more money, lost weight, went to the prom, and had a boyfriend. Was I any happier after I had or did any of those things? Momentarily.

It wasn’t until I realized that most of what made me happy was how I thought about things. That’s when I decided that I’d rather focus on what was good in my life than what was bad; I’d rather be happy with what I had in my life than be unhappy with what I lacked.

I realized that if I continued to believe that happiness was a destination, I wasn’t going to get “there.”

Lately I’ve been feeling like I have so much to do and so little time to do it in. I’ve started to fall into the trap that happiness was later, that my happiness was deferred.

I needed to be reminded that happiness is not a destination, it’s a decision.

If we decide to, we can find happiness right here and even while wearing a blue paper gown.

Especially while wearing a blue paper gown!

If you’re interested in reading the article, I found the online version here.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I’ve been busy.  I’ve been so busy that I have had to keep myself from writing.

Writing takes time.

The key point is that I have to keep myself from writing. Once I get started somehow several hours have gone by.

However, I just had to share this latest visit to my doctor for my annual physical.  He’s been my doctor for years, is just little older than I with pale hair, faded freckles and the slightly startled look of a newborn.

I’m sitting on the examination table in my fetching paper gown.

Door opens, in walks my doctor. He asks me the usual questions about how I’m feeling and my overall health.

Then he surprises me.

Doctor: Want a flu shot?
Ms. Q: What?! No. Not really
Doctor: Why not?
Ms. Q: I don’t like shots.
Doctor: But this is a flu shot – you don’t want to get the flu, do you?
Ms. Q: No. But I heard there might be side effects.
Doctor: Do you watch Fox News?
Ms. Q: [What? Huh?] No. I don’t watch TV. Why?
Doctor: Fox News thinks that flu shots are part of some conspiracy. You know, black helicopters, that type of thing.
Ms. Q: Uh…huh.
Doctor: It’s all a plot to scare everyone from a non-existent danger.
Ms. Q: Oh. Well, I don’t watch TV.
Doctor: So let me give you a flu shot.
Ms. Q: I just gave blood. I don’t want any more needles!
Doctor: I think you should. I have a bad feeling about this year’s flu season.
Ms. Q: Ugh. But I heard there are side effects.
Doctor: Yes. The SIDE EFFECT is that you DON’T GET THE FLU.

Score one for my doctor! Humor wins! And he really does have my best interest at heart.

I got the H1N1 vaccination.  A quick jab in the right shoulder.

I also recalled that I was due for a tetanus booster so he jabbed me in my left shoulder.

So that was my Friday morning.

My plans for tonight?

Pizza!

Cholesterol test is done…it’s time for some melted fat!

……………………………………..

Throughout my life I’ve heard reports on my mom’s aging process.

One thing that has remained constant is her belief that that the younger you are, the juicier you are. Therefore, you dry up as you get older.

She has this idea that we start life as grapes and end up as raisins.

She would point out various parts of her body to illustrate her point. One favorite form of “proof” is comparing her hands to mine: the bones on the back of her hand protrude more,  therefore she is more “dried up” than I.

She says, “Look! All the meat is shriveling, that’s why my bones are showing.”

I’m not quite sure how to respond to that.

She says, “You know why older woman have a fuzzy face?”

I say, “I think it’s due to some kind of hormonal change.”

She says, “They are drying up! What happens is that their skin is shrinking so the hairs look longer!”

I say, “Hmmm.”

There is a strange appeal to her juicy/young, dry/old, grape/raisin logic.

The logical side of me is thinking about the aging process: cellular breakdown, loss of collagen, and sun damage.

The creative and emotional side of me thinks that drying up is a good enough explanation of aging as I’ve seen.

You start out as a grape and you slowly dry out until you’re a raisin. Any attempts to make to retain your youthfulness are really attempts to add “juice.”

Mom points out how celebrities add fillers like collagen injections to look juicy. They are trying to plump out the raisin.

Appealing as mom’s logic is, it also drives me a bit nuts.

I don’t want to view aging as a process of drying out. We’re not supposed to be grapes forever.

Besides, how many people do you know who look young but are all dried up inside? And what about all those “old folks” who are full o’ juice?

What makes a person juicy?

• A positive attitude.
• Creativity.
• Curiosity.
• A sense of humor, an appreciation of the absurd.
• Self-acceptance

Dorothy Parker said, “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

There is truth to that statement.

Most people worry about the skin and not so much about what is within.

Anne Lamott said, “Joy is the best makeup.”

I know I’ll become a raisin.  But I hope to remain juicy.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .