Sep 30 2006
I have mixed feelings about sleep.
I like sleeping, donâ€™t get me wrong.
Sometimes I resent it because I need it, I have to have it, that sort of thing.
Sometimes I think, huh, itâ€™s a good way to keep me from my unfortunately favorite thing to do, which is eating. So, I guess I donâ€™t like sleep at times because it feels like a weakness and I always try to work on my weaknesses, but itâ€™s not like you can NOT sleep.
Why is it that sometimes sleep just feels SO GOOD, so downy-soft, so snuggly, so incredibly like some kind of dopey drugged out love that you just want it drawn out forever?
And why does it feel this good ONLY when you have to get up like RIGHT THIS MINUTE? Oh, it never feels this good when you can sleep in. It seems like you always have to pay for your pleasure. Your psyche wonâ€™t let you have anything for free, will it? Oh, no.
So, letâ€™s say you feel rested after 6 hours of sleep. Every night, you go to be at midnight, wake up at 6 oâ€™clock in the morning. How do you feel? Awful. Dopey. Grumpy. Why? Because you have to get up. You hit the snooze button 3 times and each 10 minute snooze is the most wonderful, snuggly, comforting sleep youâ€™ve ever had.
Snooze-alarm sleep is Womb Sleep.
Now itâ€™s the weekend. No alarm. You stay up late, go to bed at two oâ€™clock in the morning and look forward to waking several hours after the sun has risen. No such luck. You wake up, very alert, at 6 oâ€™clock in the morning, your usual time. You attempt to snuggle under the covers but Womb Sleep doesnâ€™t happen. Why? Because you donâ€™t have to pay for your pleasure. Youâ€™re allowed to sleep in late and since you can, you wonâ€™t enjoy it.
Maybe itâ€™s the unconsciousâ€™ way of getting back at the body for making the unconscious unconscious for hours at a time.