Oct 03 2006
Growing Up Is Hard To Do
Long ago a little boy of about ten years old came home from school. But before going inside, he went to the side of his house and checked the garbage cans.
It had become a habit.
He rummaged around and discovered his teddy bear. He picked up Teddy and looked at him. Teddy had been his buddy for as long as he could remember.
Poor Teddy had been in the garbage a few times already.
Teddy was nothing special; just your basic stuffed bear.
Just your basic stuffed bear, filled with bunched up cotton, dampened with little boy tears.
One arm was misshapen from the boy’s grip. The years of being swung by that arm had forced all the stuffing to Teddy’s shoulder.
The little boy didn’t put Teddy in the garbage can. Teddy was dumped there by the little boy’s father.
The little boy wasn’t a little boy. The little boy was a man. Men don’t need a Teddy in their lives.
The little boy loved his father. As much as he loved Teddy, he wanted to be a man. Men hang out together. Men do things together. Men don’t do things with boys.
Men hang out with men.
The little boy put Teddy back in the garbage can.
The boy became a man and the man still wishes that he never left Teddy behind.
Decades later, the man still feels he betrayed Teddy.
It wasn’t Teddy who was betrayed.
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The important details of this story are true. The boy. The garbage can. The teddy bear discarded by a parent. The sadness.
I am not a parent. I don’t know what is a healthy attachment to comforting objects and what is not.
What I do know is that I chose when to put away my toys. My parents didn’t chose for me. I decided when I was “too old.”
Betray: to fail or desert especially in time of need