Oct 14 2006
The Newlywed Game And Other Forms Of Peer Pressure
As I’ve mentioned before, I travel for my job. I’ve been in the air a lot more than the average person.
Because I travel so much, I am well aware of how uncomfortable sitting on a plane is. Flying is so cramped that I try to respect others’ space and hope they do the same. For example, if I want to lean back my chair, I check out who is sitting behind me – if the person is tall and has their knees right up against my seatback, I won’t lean my back. I also lean the chair back slowly.
People seem to forget that seats are essentially shared walls: They’ll jerk the seat backwards forgetting that the tray table is attached to the back, which may upset the drink of the person behind them. Or the person behind them will be banging on the tray, forgetting that their banging is sending shockwaves to the person in front of them.
But that is all just one big aside with respect to what I really want to get to which is: The Newlywed Game.
The game is played when you’re sitting in a seat next to one of the newlyweds. The other partner in the pair is seated somewhere else. The game begins when one of them asks you if you’re willing to exchange seats so they can sit together. Because, Aawwww, they just got married.
A few things are going on with this request.
- One is that they are yanking on your heartstrings. The Awww Effect. Wouldn’t you want to sit next to someone you love?
- The other is social pressure. The Meanie Principle. You’d look like a bad person if you don’t let them sit next to each other.
- The last is that the request really makes no sense. It Sounds Good. They just got married. They have the rest of their lives together. What’s a few hours?
I once sat next to a woman and learned that her husband was sitting somewhere else. She mentioned that her husband was “Way back there somewhere.” I asked if maybe he’d like to exchange seats with me. She thanked me for the offer and said, “He’s in a middle seat like me and eh, we’ve been married for years. We can take care of ourselves.”
I’ve given up my seat so that people can sit next to friends and family. It’s usually not that big a deal and most people know not to ask to exchange their middle seat for an aisle or a window seat.
However, I have said no to a seat exchange request.
What’s amazing is that some people are asking with the expectation that you will say yes. They are hoping that the “You don’t want to look bad” peer pressure will force you to, and are angry when it does not.