QMusings

Ms. Q weighs 100 pounds.

I’m not telling you this as some type of “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” comment. As I told you earlier, I am four-foot-ten-and-three-quarters in height, so my weight is in keeping with my number of inches off the ground.

I haven’t been this weight since, oh, 2000. I figured my scale would never display 100 again. At least, not while I was on it. I’ve donated several pairs of jeans – jeans that used to be “baggy” but became “snug” – to Goodwill. I remember when I had purchased those jeans – they were so baggy I had thought, “If these ever become tight, I’ll be fat.”

I either had to rethink my conclusion or believe that I was fat.

Currently I am doing both: I both believe that I am fat yet know that I am not fat at all. It’s enough to drive a woman to drink. I want to accept the fact that I don’t have the metabolism of a 30-year old but am not doing such a good job of it.

When you’re 58.75 inches tall, gaining a pound is significant. Losing it is quite an effort. I’ve managed to keep my weight around 103 pounds by running (not a big deal since I love running) and watching what I eat. I run. A lot.

For significantly short women (those under 5 feet), 100 pounds is a benchmark weight. We feel the same way about 100 pounds as we do about not being at least 5 feet tall. Depending on the woman, 100 pounds is the weight she never hopes to be or the weight she wishes she had. I’ve felt both ways about being 100 pounds.

I’ve met woman shorter than I. This always amazes me. It also amazes them when they learn that I am four-foot-ten-and-three-quarters and this is the height they thought they were. Sorry, I think as I look down at them. It’s not as if I wanted to be the one to tell them. I’ve met several women who thought they were my height. Finding out that I am taller than they was a shocking realization.

How did I achieve my fantasy weight? Oh, I went on the 48-hour virus diet. Pounding headache, nausea, aches, and pains, totally bedridden. I could barely eat. I barely ate after I began feeling better. I lost 2 pounds in 5 days. That happens if you only eat about 500 calories over the course of 5 days.

I recounted my illness and subsequent weight loss to a couple of ex-boyfriends and their responses were similar: I must look sexier. Hmmmm.

Ms. Q: So I was so sick I lost weight! Can you believe it, I am 100 pounds now!
XBF: One hundred pounds? Whoooa. You must be a total babe now.
Ms. Q: NOW?
XBF: Uhhh…
Ms. Q: You mean I am currently NOT a Total Babe?
XBF: Yes! I mean, NO! I meant that you are even MORE of a Total Babe… Now.
Ms. Q: Uh-huh.
XBF: Now! More than ever before!
Ms. Q: Too late.

Of course, we were just playing at the “Lose-Lose” game. This game is nail-in-the-eye fun for men as the outcome is a given: no matter what they do or say, they lose.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS