Jan 16 2007
South Africans Eat Ice Cream
Linda Erlank was annoyed and I didn’t blame her.
She sat in the backseat of the aforementioned BMW SUV. Her daughter, A, was squirming on her lap. Linda was between Shirley and me.
Linda wasn’t annoyed with being stuck in the middle, her mom in the front passenger seat and her sister driving. No, she was annoyed at foreigners (i.e. Americans) thinking that South Africa was one large desert dotted with leafless trees, mud huts with thatched roofs, and lions and tigers running loose.
As I sat squished on her left, she played with A and flashed her blue eyes at me. “Can you believe what people have asked me?”
My role was to listen. Jumping on a moving train with no open boxcars would have been easier than trying to reply.
“A woman once asked me, ‘Do you have ice cream? IT’S COLD‘.”
She pinned a look at me, as if I were representative of all ignorant foreigners.
I took a breath, ready to commiserate with a comment. Good luck with that.
“Hah! Like we don’t have ice cream!”
Shirley was squished on the other side as A sprawled face down across her mother’s lap. Linda absently kept A under control and started building up a good head of steam, her Rs rolling in her Afrikaans-accented English.
I certainly didn’t blame her for being annoyed at how Americans perceive South Africa. The map shown is meant as a joke, but it’s really how most Americans see the rest of the world.
I first went to South Africa back in 1998. I went for work as a software consultant. While I was there, my coworkers asked me if I saw any wild animals in the streets. I may be bad at geography, but I can connect the dots. Our client had purchased our software. Hmm.
Software runs on computers. Computers require some type of infrastructure. Infrastructure generally means that you don’t have freakin’ baboons and tigers (which aren’t even native to South Africa) running around the streets.
I later learned that one of my company’s developers was invited to visit. He told them no, he didn’t like the desert.
So first we (Americans) think that baboons and tigers are running loose and then we think they are running loose in a desert. Yet somehow a client is running our software.
“Yo. Simba. Whaddup with the zebras at the watering hole?”
“Dunno. Server is down. That’s what we get for outsourcing to the baboons.”
Linda gave me a hard time, asking me, “Do you have rain? IT’S WET.“
What could I do but take it?