Feb 21 2007
I’m Too Sexy For My Sentence Structure
Ms. Q got a nice surprise.
Her defunct (lapsed subscription) online dating account had a message waiting for her. Even better was the fact that that man who emailed her was:
- Not in his mid-to-late 60s (Ms. Q is careening towards 42).
- Not looking for a “playmate”
- Actually fit her listed criteria.
Last summer I joined an online dating service. I called it my “Find A Boyfriend Summer Project” and paid for 3 months of service.
I spent a lot of time on my profile. I wanted it to show my personality rather than telling it.
I posted realistic yet non-scary photos of myself. I sent out emails.
The end result was I met 3 men and became friends with 2 of them. Not a bad result at all.
Despite this, online dating is nail-in-the-eye fun. It takes a lot of effort. Summer ended and I stopped my subscription. I had other things to do like starting a blog and figuring out what inspires me. I let my subscription lapse but kept my profile active.
The recurring theme with the men who have contacted me has been how well written my profile is. Yes, it was my grammar and complex sentence structure they found attractive.
Wow. The writer side of me is thinking, “Nice.”
The female side of me is thinking, “But don’t you think I’m attractive???!!”
Then the Valley Girl (she’s not a side of me, more of a sidekick) says, “That is like, so DUH. I mean, it’s like IMPLIED that he like, finds you, like, attractive.”
The man who emailed me complimented me on my grammar and wit. Ms. Q likes compliments.
He also strung together a series of multisyllabic words that included “pulchritudinous.”
I am now amused as well as complimented.
What the heck.
I re-up for another month’s subscription and a flurry of emails are exchanged.
Ms. Q has a date for tonight!
We can’t help it. Men are attracted to orderly and structured life.
Your excellent grasp of grammar just brings us in!
HMTKSteve: Thanks for the insight. Order and structure. Order and Structure.
I can see that.
Men have told me that despite popular myth, attraction is not “all here” (circular motion around groin) but must include “up here” (circular motion around head).
I respond with, “Yeah, as long as ‘up here’ (circular motion around my head) is appealing, along with here (circular motion around chest area) and here (parenthetical hand position around hips).”
I like smart boys but that ‘p’ word scared me. You should write a post-date post to let everyone know that you arrived home safe and sound.
And tell your Valley Girl self she’s totally hilarious.
Hey, Kristi – took me a while to figure out what you meant by “the ‘p’ word.”
‘p’ combined with ’scared’ did not make me think ‘pulchritudinous’ but something more prurient. Gotta love those multisyllabic words!
Thanks for the suggestion to write a post-date post. Inquiring minds want to know? Eeee!
Omigod Kristi! You are like, sooooo sweet! People think, like, I’m funny by accident, like it’s INHERENT or something. Nuh-uh! I can SO like be funny on purpose – you know, intentionally.
Speaking about p-words – your blog rocks! I laugh so hard sometimes, well..you like, get the idea.
pulchritudinous is such a pretty sounding word … yep yep I reckon then hmmmm doggon it he heeeee.
good???