Feb 28 2007
Do Funny Girls Get the Guy?
I’m referring to funny as in ha-ha, not funny as in odd.
Now, we’ve all read how women like men who are intelligent, warm, sensitive and funny. We say we want a man with a sense of humor.
I know that I like a man who can make me laugh.
I know what you’re thinking: any man who dates Ms. Q has gotta have a sense of humor.
I once dated a guy who didn’t get sarcasm. I was constantly apologizing because I’d hurt his feelings.
How would you feel if someone you were dating asked you “Do you like talking on the phone with me?”
You reply, “Oh …NO! That’s why I call you all the time and speak with you for hours on end. It’s pure torture.”
Then he says, “I’m sorry. I had no idea. You don’t have to call me so much if you don’t want to.”
That relationship didn’t work out.
Anyway, I poured myself a glass of red wine and started to ponder. Women like men with a sense of humor but do men like women with a sense of humor?
I’m not a big follower of celebrity news but it seems to me that the male comics have groupies and fans. It seems like Funny Men are Sexy Men.
What about the female comics? Do female comics have male fans and groupies? Are funny females sexy?
Do funny females get the guy?
I do think men like women with a sense of humor.
But do you want her to laugh at your jokes or do you want to be laughing at hers?
What happens if she’s funnier than you?
So guys: you tell me.
How important is having a sense of humor in your girlfriend/wife/main squeeze to you?
Are funny women sexy?
Is your girlfriend/wife/main squeeze funnier than you?
Your blog has been up and down a lot lately…
I don’t look for a girl with a sense of humor, I look for one with bad eye sight.
me -> “Oh yeah, I look just like Brad Pitt.”
blind gf -> “Ew, I can’t wait to meet you!”
me (to friend) -> “Remember to knock her glasses off just before I meet her…”
Too much humor in a gf can be a bad thing. I want her to laugh with me, not at me.
Not sure what is going on. My hosting service has issues and I’m not sure if it’s growing pains or what. So far everything has been slow and timing out but I’m not sure if it’s my hotel network or the host server.
I agree with you: It’s one thing to be funny and laugh together. Another thing entirely to poke fun at someone, especially at your loved one.
Not much into B.Pitt myself. More into H. Ford or Sam Neill types.
Great questions you ask, Ms. Q. Do guys like a woman with a sense of humor? Sure! Do we like a woman who is funny and tells jokes? That can be a little much, speaking for myself. I end up smiling and “laughing” just to appease her because she is probably trying very hard to make me laugh.
She doesn’t have to entertain me all the time, but just laugh with me once in a while.
Ms. Q mentions she’s more into the H. Ford types rather than B. Pitt. How ironic, as I am often mistaken for Harrison himself. Yeah, really.
Hmmmmm…I think many hot guys are superficial and go for looks more than a sense of humor. Am I wrong guys?
It sounds like the guy you described here was just a bit stiff…and not in the good way
Jake: Well, I guess I should be clearer about what I think is a funny woman. I am not thinking so much about telling jokes, more about making a man laugh. I don’t know if I’d like a man telling me jokes all the time. Witty? Yes! Jokes-a-minute? No.
If someone is trying too hard to make another person laugh she should probably quit while she’s ahead. Not that I follow my own advice. I’ve been known to try a little too hard to get someone to laugh. Or even crack a smile.
Jane: welcome to my blog! I’ve seen you around JohnChow’s site and congrats on the growth of yours.
From my own experience, hot guys do not seem to have “sense of humor” on the must-have list of female attributes. This may be because they haven’t had to develop their own sense of humor. If a friend is setting up a blind date and they tell you “he/she is really funny” or “has a great personality” you know that the person is probably not hot.
I can just hear my ex-boyfriends now: You mean I’m not hot?
hahahaa! About my ex-ex-ex-ex-who-can-even-remember boyfriend. He wasn’t stiff in the bad way (!) he was just very literal.
“He wasn’t stiff in the bad way (!) he was just very literal.”
Good choice of words
Asbolutely: funny girls make the world go ’round!
It’s mostly about how well you get along, but a compatible sense of humour is really important.
Guys like Girls who ‘OOO’…
1. Comes 5 minutes late on a date. Most people think girls can be late to a date at least for 30-40 minutes, but that’s an old school way of thinking. Come out early from your place then watch him come from aside. After 5 minutes, run out as if you we…
I have never met you but discovered your blog randomly through a completely unrelated google search.
Now my ADD has once again shifted me a new direction.
Hi, names Lo.
Nice Subject. I’ve often pondered the same thing. I not only have a sense of humor, but I am also slightly raunchy, and I’m fairly sure i was deprived of some attention as a child lol. I love to make ‘em laugh, but at the same time, if you dont like my jokes, or don’t understand them, it really won’t affect my opinion of MYSELF, I’ll just not talk to you as much and we’ll probably never be friends. I don’t ever “try” to make people laugh, I just say what I feel and if it comes out sounding humorous, so be it.
I also am not a ham. It takes a while for me to be comfortable enough around people before I get all loose and crazy (unless you get me drunk).
So anywho, I have never been told I was a piece of unladylike, low-class trash just because I make jokes and like to live life to the fullest. Any man who thinks that is probably so wound up and tight assed that he eats coal and shits diamonds for a living.
Be yourself!!
Hi Ms Q,
Like doodoobrainz(nice name btw) I just stumbled across your site by googling the subject, because I was asking myself the same thing. So far I have met only one mature man who gets my jokes and we haven’t seen each other for about a year. (It’s a long story, we just met once and its as if we have known each other for years) However, I’m not sure when I’m ever going to see him again, so right now, I don’t think many guys want a woman who is funny. In my opinion, I’m more of a goofy funny, of course that depends on who I’m with and how comfortable I am around them, but funny nonetheless.
In my opinion, I don’t think men want the funny type. I hope though, I’m wrong because if I’m not, then I guess I better buy those dozen cats now.
KJ
KJ: Based on my observation men enjoy witty women, men enjoy funny women but they seldom marry them. So..I’m not married either but I’m not adopting cats!
But Jill of Twipply Skwood is pretty funny and even goofy funny and she found a delightful guy! So..I think there are special guys who have no problems with funny women.
Funny women seem to be “buddy material” which sucks. Funny just isn’t sexy on a woman is what I’m thinking. However, being funny isn’t generally some bad habit or character flaw so I yam what I yam and the guy for me will appreciate it. And the guy for you will like your goofy humor too!
Guys who have been interested in me before said it was because I can make them laughed more than other girls and I’m like one of the guys, so yeah I guess some guys are different but there are guys who like funny girls.
Well, you’re lucky Rachel.
I had my ex tell me I was too funny and stole his spotlight. I guess I need to find a guy who’s just a funny, I suppose. That really hurt.
Well I am a funny girl, class clown kind of stuff. I’m bubbly and outgoing and known to make you crack a smile with my sense of humor.. I was home coming queen, and have lots of friends. But I’ve never even had a boy friend, and its really not that big of a deal to me. But so many times in the past I’ve felt terrible about myself because of it. I used to try and change myself all the time because guys love you as a best bud but never as their girl friend. It’s tough, and a self esteem plower some times. I hope there are good guys out there that are interested in girls like me.
-Team Funny girl:)
the guys i have met seem to admire me alot more because of my male sense of humor (which i got from my dad)….although that doesnt mean men are totally attracted to funny girls most of my guy friends tend to go out with girls who arent funny and the guys are the funny ones in the relationship.my sense of humor has allowed me to become closer with guys i have met…..in some cases closer than their own girlfriends!
to be blunt guys do not like funny girls,I know this cause i am the funny girl. guys think of you as one of the guys, not as someone they would like to make-out with. example one i was really good friends with this guy let’s call him brad, anyway we would make jokes with each other laugh at other people together. though when he broke up with his girlfriend ; wanted somone new in his life who did he pick his bestfriend the goofy funny girl… No he didnt he picked the girl who would laugh in the corner at are joke… sucks but it is true… no guy who is straight wants to make-out with a girl who acts like one of the guys!thats all i have to say about this (peace stay sweet)
i’m a funny girl…sure i probably try to hard but that is my forte! i like guys who are funny too–and if our sense of humor is compatible then i would say ‘yes’.
but, i do agree that guys usually want to be the funny one and i have to learn to just laugh without trying to “one up”.
growing up i was fat n ugly n this helped me develop the works..a male sense of humor, as one of the guys..i have like 3 million fist bump buddies/..and a great personality hehe. after years of being fat n ugly.. lol.. i thought i’d change things so after like 2 hrs of cardio daily n controlling my portions..which i still hate to this day..lol..wonder of all wonders believe it or not suddenly ppl from friends to complete strangers are using different words to describe me..words as beautiful, gorgeous, hot as hell, darwinian perfection and…ok too dirty to write down lol. it truly is the sweetest thing but i’m starting to wonder if my being funny is not a + at all. i keep going back to this line from barbra streisand’s movie funny girl where she grows up awkward looking with skinny legs..in one part she tells the guy “don’t make leading lady dialogue for me. i’m a comic!” she gets the guy n becomes very very successful but the guy has this gambling problem.. in the end he asks her “what did I ever give you that you couldn’t have gotten for yourself?” and all she could say was “A blue marble egg”.. please watch the movie. it’s so underrated but yknow. …..so.. i can’t help but wonder if it’s a turnoff or what.. the leading lady is never funny, is she? or when she is she’s like cute-funny like lily on how i met your mother and my sense of humor..according to many..is more in the vicinity of hilarious as $&@!…sometimes i use words like pwn and fail..lol… n many guys have told me i’m funnier than them.. if u have any input at all on my situation….. pls reply to this post. in a way i feel like i belong LESS than when i was fat n ugly…
ok if there’s any truth to this at all:
“Men who do appreciate their female partner’s humor are usually more secure, mature and educated than the average guy, he says. They hold their mates in high esteem and aren’t intimidated.”
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200508/humors-sexual-side
then all is well and good.. this is EXACTLY the kind of guy that i want.
funnygirl837628: Wow. You’ve certainly thought about what it is to be funny girl!
You also got me thinking about this post – something I wrote 3 years ago! Yikes!
I don’t have a television and I seldom watch movies but I think you are right – the leading woman is never funny and if she is, it’s “cute-funny” as you put it. I think about the male comic leads (Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey) and they get the gals.
In your case I can understand why you feel you “belong less” now that you’re gorgeous – people just don’t associate a gorgeous woman with being hilarious and as you note in your 2nd comment, when it come to men, it takes a secure man to appreciate their female partner’s humor.
The upshot seems to be that funny girls tend not to get the guy but when they do, it’s one very special guy!
I watched “Funny Girl” ages ago and can no longer recall the plot. I’ll have to see it again.
i agree funny girls are seen as the best friend i get on better with guys than girls and all the guys ever say to me is your so funny or your a very funny girl!!!!! so in my theory funny girls are seen as the friend type rather than the girlfriend type. but i guess i could be wrong
well,i love guys with a good sense of humour…especially one that matches mine…i am a pretty funny person, and often tend to joke around, too much at times i think, i don’t think some people take it too well…anyway…im considered ‘one of the guys’, but i don’t think it’s only because i joke around, it’s also coz im not a typical girly girl who likes to shop and go for manicures etc etc..and i’m more interested in stuff that most of my female friends aren’t..like cars, games ,sports etc etc..plus i hv a pretty tough upperbody so yeah, ppl go around greeting me with ” ann’s the man!”
i think funny girls do get the guy, but it depends on WHAT guy
well, i’m 15 and tall skinny slightly flatchested but pretty enough, i’ve done some model work and stuff, so guys would have to be attracted to my personality because i can’t offer too much in the boob department hahaha. my sense of humour is really dry and whenever i am around guys i like i get nervous and make embarrassing jokes but they seem to laugh and usually i can get them to be interested straight away (?) so i think guys like funny girls, but for me the guys have to be funny too, there’s nothing worse than a boring guy. most guys tell me i am the funniest girl they have ever met but i hope they arent just being polite! maybe they find my embarrassing jokes cute cos they know i’m nervous? i don’t know but my view on it is that guys do like funny girls, but not the kinds who make lame jokes every five seconds.
if you are funny go for it and if they can’t appreciate your jokes they aren’t worth it! life is too short to be serious.
like one time me and my friends were out at night by the beach waiting to meet up with some of our guy friends and these guys walked past and were just like ‘ladies’ and there was an awkward silence and i said ‘men’ and they thought it was really funny so they came over to talk to us and they were really hot.. so yeah
Hey, great topic.
I was asking myself the same thing, as many others were. Like Claudia, I’m fifteen years old. (Why should a fifteen year old girl be looking this up? To be honest, I saw an article like this in The Scientific American Mind. Yes, I’m a nerd. Now go subscribe to that magazine; it’s brilliant.)
I’m going to tell you now that I fall into the comedian category. I’m not too cute (my features are too average) but I’ve got a pretty quick mind and, as my friends say, a lot of charm. I’m that girl who you know always has a joke– most of them pretty witty– for anything you can throw at me. This makes me and others like myself a good friend…but, as soon as I crack the first joke it’s like, “Ah, well, there goes that cute guy over there seeing me as anything more than a buddy.” I can make anyone laugh, but is that a good thing? Evidently, it isn’t when I’m trying to get someone interested.
That’s the thing! Funny girls, I feel, tend to be the buddies, the friends, not the girlfriends. However, I think it boils down to a maturity thing– a mature, good guy will appreciate and love a girl for who she is, funny or not. Who doesn’t like someone who makes them laugh?
Here’s what’s come from my (limited) experience: to all the funny girls out there, stay funny. That will get you friends, both male and female. But if you’re interested in a man romantically, try to balance being funny with appreciating humor. My advice: don’t try to hard, tone down the jokes– make it occasional– and laugh at his jokes. I’m not even kidding; men need someone to laugh at their humor more than they need someone who is humorous. For the first couple times you’re around him, don’t let the funny side show as much. When it moves past the initial attraction and into a deeper bond, that’s probably a good time to bring out the humor.
Humor is not something to be overdone, with neither men nor women. People aren’t into clowns, they’re into witty and clever people who make them feel happy. True love comes from someone that you’re happy to be around but still makes you feel ‘in love’– more than a friend, obviously. Only being fifteen years old, I cannot tell if I have yet experienced “true love” or “real love”– but then again, maybe I have, because I’ve certainly felt the feeling I am describing.
A word of wisdom for men: it has become clear to me, after observing many married couples, that a funny woman who is clever and able to make the man laugh is a valuable asset. A man who can appreciate and laugh with her sense of humor is not only incredibly sexy, it’s endearing; it shows a man is not only thinking about himself and how to garner laughs though his jokes. These relationships tend to be able to smooth over rough patches much more easily and create a certain type of chemistry between the two.
It stands to reason, also, that a man who is not concerned with whether or not a girl is funny, but just loves her for who she is, is just a better man, yeah? Probably more mature and desirable to be around. Even sexier than a funny man is a funny man who is also mature.
Adrienne: I enjoyed reading your comment – very well thought out! I would’ve thought ‘nerd’ even without your writing that you read The Scientific American Mind. Nerds tend to analyze and dig beneath the surface and want to know what many would consider the boring details.
I’m sure you’re used to hearing it from others but for someone of your (limited) experience and age, you write and think with an unexpected level of maturity and a great command of the semicolon.
“The Scientific American Mind” wrote an article about my post topic? Huh. Who wudda thunk it! I’ve read “Scientific American” but had no idea they came up with a version that focused on the mind. I’m sure I’d enjoy reading it.
“It stands to reason, also, that a man who is not concerned with whether or not a girl is funny, but just loves her for who she is, is just a better man, yeah? Probably more mature and desirable to be around. Even sexier than a funny man is a funny man who is also mature.”
Your comment ties in with “funnygirl837628” and her link to an article in Psychology Today” “Men who do appreciate their female partner’s humor are usually more secure, mature and educated than the average guy, he says. They hold their mates in high esteem and aren’t intimidated.”
Emotional maturity is probably a key component when it comes to a man appreciating and possibly being attracted to a “funny girl.” I tried to recall what the boys around me were like back when *I* was 15 and (gack! that was 30 years ago!) and more often than not if anyone was funny, it was the boy – the one funny girl I can bring to mind was very much a tom-boy at the time. I don’t think boys of any age are attracted to funny girls; it takes a man to appreciate humor in his “woman.”
I apologize, MsQ, that I did not respond promptly. In actuality, I did not realize you had replied until I went back to send this article to a friend. It was a pleasant surprise to discover that you had replied– with not only a thorough rejoinder– but on the same day! Please accept my apologies for being so late.
If you decide to write it I look forward to hearing about it.
Alright, in response to your feedback, I have a few comments. Yes, nerd I may be, but it makes conversational options much broader. It takes a man to appreciate a nerd too!!
Yes, “Scientific American” took it to a mental thing. Here’s the main points of the article (I’m not sure if they’ll let you read/download the whole thing): http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-humor-gap
If I can find the whole article, I’ll respond back as soon as I find it, mm? I’m sure (as you’d mentioned) that you’d like it; it correlates with your article in a fascinating way.
I agree whole-heartedly with your last comment, that emotional maturity is a “key component” (I couldn’t phrase it better myself!) and that I certainly hope I find a man who can appreciate my humor just as much I can appreciate his. (It doesn’t take much to make me laugh, which people usually like.)
Boys when you were fifteen and boys today aren’t that much different, as far as I can tell. Swollen egos, ready to pop as soon as someone takes a jab at them, right? I once heard a girl telling her friends about a boy giving her the cold shoulder because he didn’t appreciate her stealing his spotlight in the way of humor. Ouch.
There’s another good article for you– the male ego!!
P.S. About the semicolons. I’m on my way to being a high school English teacher. Improper use of semicolons make my blood boil; when I use them I try to use them right and to my advantage in writing. Being an ardent lover of books and the daughter of an English professor helps a lot too.
guys like funny girls but not in a relationship sort of way. I’m a very funny girl but i have a rude sense of humour, other funny guys like my humour because i make them laugh and they make me laugh. but i;ve never been in a relationship and it sucks. i don’t try hard to be funny i’m just naturally witty and good at making people laugh. it’s not like i’m ugly, or fat, so i don’t understand why i have not had a boyfriend yet, should i try and not be so funny to help a guys ego and finally win one over?
Adreinne: no worries on not responding (promptly or otherwise!). Your comment just came at at time when I was checking my blog and actually had the time to respond. I’ve put writing on hold so seldom log on. I am a bit amazed at how popular this post is.
Thanks for sending me the link to the article – I found it interesting that I wrote my post several years before Scientific American (Feb 2007 versus May 2010). I couldn’t read the entire article but this excerpt fits in with what I’ve observed:
“When comedian Susan Prekel takes to the stage and spots an attractive man in the audience, her heart sinks. “By the end of my gig he’s going to find me repulsive, at least as a sexual being,” she says.
In more than a decade of performing on the New York City comedy circuit the attractive, tall brunette has been asked out only once after a show. But male comics get swarmed. “They do very well with women. I see it all the time,” Prekel says.
You’re right that it does correlate neatly with my post!
I’m sure you’ll find a man who will appreciate your humor and a sense of humor definitely helps when it comes to dating … and life in general. People do delight in people who laugh easily. Although sometimes I have to stifle my own laughter when I hear something absurd in a business setting! In this case everyone is serious about something that in some larger view is utterly ridiculous!
“Your” 15 year old boys sound a bit different than the ones I recall. I went to a high school packed with primarily over-achieving Asians which is practically redundant as I think it’s still the case for that high school! Everyone around me was focused on grades and getting into a good college. Well, most people. I wasn’t particularly funny back then – just too shy – and didn’t bust loose until late into my junior year.
Me writing about the male ego? I’d have no idea where to start and so many people have already done it!
I used to be a member of the grammar and spelling police but have managed to become more relaxed about writing. I’ve seen how writing and grammar rules have changed over time and that’s the beauty of language. I have seen how little we use adverbs – phrases like “Think Different” used to drive me nuts but now I merely twitch! However, I have doubts I will accept all the text messaging shortcuts in regular communications.
emily: I’ve never been a big fan of changing who I am for someone else unless I am in some way hurting that person. Which isn’t to say that I am against modifying my behaviour. Based on all the comments and my own observations, guys like funny girls but aren’t attracted to them and if the girl has “guy humor” then they begin to see her as one of the guys instead of a girl.
When you haven’t had a boyfriend, it’s hard! Before my first boyfriend I wondered if I’d ever date and I was almost 20 years old. It took me a while..quite a while in fact, for me to realize that dating is not a one-way activity. You write about winning a guy over – doesn’t he have to win you over as well? While appearance counts for a lot when it comes to dating and finding someone, feeling good about who you are goes a long way to attracting the right person. Would you date yourself? Advice I have read over and over is working on yourself so that the answer to that question is “Yes!” If you wouldn’t date yourself, how could you expect someone else to?
This is a great article, and I had seen something like this in the Telegraph from 2006, so I put it in the search engine to see if it was true. Alas, many surveys and anecdotal evidence seem to back it up. Oh well, it only serves to prove what I already suspected.
I do take solace in the fact that women who do snag a fellow who appreciates their humor tend to find very mature, self-confident men; not knowing many of those types, the outlook for me doesn’t look so great, but I’m willing to wait.
If humor is indeed a sign of intelligence, maybe those fellows have been looking in the wrong place for marital bliss…http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5309026/Intelligent-women-enjoy-sex-more-than-bimbos-research-finds.html (note: article isn’t completely child-friendly)
Or it could just mean I’m a control freak…http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/6078247/Humour-is-an-act-of-aggression.html