Comments on: Have You Outgrown Your Parents? http://qmusings.com/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/ Something to Think About Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:52:28 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: MsQ http://qmusings.com/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-1103 MsQ Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:26:01 +0000 http://qmusings.com/blog/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/#comment-1103 chesg:I love that "stop giving each other fishes!" If you've been raised with family-first-you-last it's very difficult to let go - all those who depend on you will cling to you for dear life! They'll also use every trick in the book: guilt, manipulation, drama, and threats. It's difficult to "grow up" but well worth it - I hope you have lots of supports from your friends and maybe even other family members as you live your own life. chesg:I love that “stop giving each other fishes!” If you’ve been raised with family-first-you-last it’s very difficult to let go – all those who depend on you will cling to you for dear life!

They’ll also use every trick in the book: guilt, manipulation, drama, and threats. It’s difficult to “grow up” but well worth it – I hope you have lots of supports from your friends and maybe even other family members as you live your own life.

]]> By: chesg http://qmusings.com/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-1097 chesg Wed, 14 Mar 2007 05:32:11 +0000 http://qmusings.com/blog/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/#comment-1097 I completely understand what you mean. I love my mom and I can't even imagine not having her around my life, but the older I get, I realize that I need to really grow up and let go. I need to live my life, not for my mother but for me. It's hard at times when you are close and grew up in a culture of family and dependency. But I believe that in order to better ourselves we all need to learn how to fish and stop giving each other fishes. I hope that makes sense?:) I completely understand what you mean. I love my mom and I can’t even imagine not having her around my life, but the older I get, I realize that I need to really grow up and let go. I need to live my life, not for my mother but for me. It’s hard at times when you are close and grew up in a culture of family and dependency. But I believe that in order to better ourselves we all need to learn how to fish and stop giving each other fishes. I hope that makes sense?:)

]]> By: MsQ http://qmusings.com/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-1079 MsQ Tue, 13 Mar 2007 13:37:24 +0000 http://qmusings.com/blog/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/#comment-1079 HM: Its sounds like you have some hard-earned wisdom. I like your point that it takes courage to walk away. It's not always fear that makes a person leave. HM: Its sounds like you have some hard-earned wisdom. I like your point that it takes courage to walk away. It’s not always fear that makes a person leave.

]]> By: HM http://qmusings.com/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-1078 HM Tue, 13 Mar 2007 12:31:56 +0000 http://qmusings.com/blog/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/#comment-1078 Not all relationships are healthy. I wouldn't stay in a friendship or a marriage with someone who treated me the way my parents did. Nor would I encourage anyone else to . Some relationships are not meant to be forever. It takes courage to walk away. The decision does not come lightly, but sometimes it is the only option. In order to heal wounds, one must stop submitting themselves to the thing that causes them pain. Not all relationships are healthy. I wouldn’t stay in a friendship or a marriage with someone who treated me the way my parents did. Nor would I encourage anyone else to .

Some relationships are not meant to be forever. It takes courage to walk away. The decision does not come lightly, but sometimes it is the only option.

In order to heal wounds, one must stop submitting themselves to the thing that causes them pain.

]]> By: MsQ http://qmusings.com/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-1073 MsQ Tue, 13 Mar 2007 04:52:56 +0000 http://qmusings.com/blog/2007/03/12/have-you-outgrown-your-parents/#comment-1073 smitty: I don't think Fred was criticizing his parents. He was criticizing my post. I'm sorry your parents died so young and that you regret not telling them how much you cared. Parents are thought of a sacrosanct. That is, we feel thy are due our automatic love and loyalty. As children we look to our parents to provide emotional as well as physical sustenance. We give our parents chance after chance to lift us up, to truly raise us. Parents are still people. People can have problems: alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, rages. Those problems don't disappear when they have children. People who turn away from their parents are thought of as unforgiving, unloving, hard. My point is that if someone has an unhealthy relationship with a parent, why should they maintain it more than any other relationship? smitty: I don’t think Fred was criticizing his parents. He was criticizing my post. I’m sorry your parents died so young and that you regret not telling them how much you cared.

Parents are thought of a sacrosanct. That is, we feel thy are due our automatic love and loyalty. As children we look to our parents to provide emotional as well as physical sustenance. We give our parents chance after chance to lift us up, to truly raise us.

Parents are still people. People can have problems: alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, rages. Those problems don’t disappear when they have children.

People who turn away from their parents are thought of as unforgiving, unloving, hard. My point is that if someone has an unhealthy relationship with a parent, why should they maintain it more than any other relationship?

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