QMusings

I went to a Buddhist wedding on Sunday.

I’d never been to a Buddhist wedding. There was no music. The bride wore a kimono, the groom a black tux.

The priest’s head was shaved and he wore a black robe draped with a length of blue cloth.

He greeted us and explained that when he tapped on a bell during parts of the ceremony we were to press our hands together and then bow slowly after each ring.

The bride and groom removed their shoes and stepped up onto the altar.

As I listened to the mostly silent ceremony, I watched the priest offer incense to Buddha.

I saw the couple’s offer of flowers and incense to Buddha.

I saw how most of us who were watching were not sure what was going on but we wanted to bow at the right times and not screw things up.

As I watched the exchange of mala beads that symbolized the acceptance of the Three Refuges Of Buddha, I listened to the silence.

As I watched the exchange of sake cups that symbolized the promise of loyalty, I listened to the silence.

I usually cry at weddings, even when I don’t know the couple all that well. I hear the music, I listen as the couple exchange their vows, I see the generations of family celebrating the moment and I am touched.

I didn’t cry at this wedding. I listened to the silence and thought about love.

I thought about how love isn’t noise. Love is silence.

Love is a look. We recognize that look and feel it.

Love is the hand that reaches for yours. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing but when the hand of your lover holds yours, there is a moment of stillness.

Love is stillness. Love is silence. Love is the sigh.

Love is not noise.

Noise is fear. Noise is judgment. Noise is desire and wants.

I listened as the priest recounted the first Refuge:

To take refuge in Buddha means that life is completely still, indifferent to whether or not our lives are dynamic. This stillness, which continually sustains our life, is what we call Buddha-life.

The stillness that sustains our life.

As I listened to the silence I became aware of how much I fear loving. I do love and I try to love with acceptance. I try to love without judgment. As with most people, I love the best way I can. Yet my love is still tinged with fear.

As I listened to the silence and thought about the stillness that sustains our life, I realized that I now had a way to recognize fear. If all I heard was the noisy voices in my head, then I was feeling fear. If I felt still and heard silence, then I was feeling love.

To take the Buddhist refuges is to enter the path of mercy and compassion for all existence. It is the way followed by all Buddhas in countless directions and is free from obstruction and hinderance.

I watched a beautiful wedding ceremony. I listened to the silence and I heard the sound of love.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS