QMusings

Malls. Nail-in-the-eye fun for Ms. Q.

It’s right up there with eating fish.

Ms. Q is allergic to fish. It gives her hives. In fact, if she ate enough of it, it may kill her.

Anyway, I had to drop off some library books and there’s this chi-chi mall just across the street from the library. I usually avoid the mall and in fact, try to avoid malls and shopping in general.

I don’t like shopping and if I have to, I’d rather buy things online. No lines, no search for parking, no throbbing music, and generally, shipping is free.

I needed something that I had been putting off buying so I decide that today was the day to brave the mall.

Let the hives begin.

I trek across the expanses of Italian marble intent on visiting the 3 stores that may have my item.

I encounter a Croc Cart. Yes, a veritable wall o’ Crocs, the butt ugliest shoes on earth. Yes, Ms. Q has a pair of orange Crocs but she does not deny the fact that they are butt-ugly.

I only enter the 3 stores. However, I have to pass a gazillion window displays. I pop antihistamines to prevent systemic meltdown.

Despite having the antihistamines and being a bit disconnected from reality, I began to notice that I was seriously out of style. Yes, I am usually fashion-backwards and no edges are going to be cut with my jeans but …wow.

Fleece is really past due. So are running shoes that are actually used for running. It’s true about fashion being cyclical because I see clothes that were in fashion when I was oh, 7 years old. That was a long freakin’ time ago. That’s like 2 dog lifetimes.

I pass by all the young fashion-hungry women clad in the latest cut of jeans.

My litany against fashion:

Fashion is not me.
Fashion is illusion.
Fashion is not need. Fashion brings fiscal annihilation.
I will not be swayed by fashion.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fashion has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

My litany serves me well. I can’t find my item and I leave the mall…with nothing.

Only I remain.

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