Jun 05 2007
The Difference Between Men and Women: Hearing
This is in response or rather in conjunction with, HMTKSteve’s post Do you suffer with MADD?
Many times, people say that the women of the species talk too much…
But there’s no problem because the male ear is SELECTIVE :
Example…
When women say:
“This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you don´t wash them now !!!”
…
…
…
…
The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, now !!!
Beginning the statement talking about the house being a mess will turn most husbands ears off right away.
I remember reading a study that showed as men age they lose the ability to hear high-pitched noises. As women age their voices raise in pitch. I think I’ll leave it at that!
LOL… I like what we hear when you put it that way.
HMTKSteve: Maybe the hearing loss in men and the pitch increase in women as both age is a good thing. Might be why couple stay together after multiple decades of marriage.
Complaints usually raise in pitch so if the woman complains, the man ain’t hearing it!
I used to get my wife so mad…
We would be having a “discusion” and everything would be following along in a clear logical fashion. As soon as she would realize that she was losing the argument she would start trying to get the argument off of the logic base it started with and onto an emotional level.
It is at that point that I would “clam up” on stop talking. I would stop because it is clear, at that point, that we are no longer talking about something to resolve an issue. Instead we have moved on to the, “yes, you are right but now I want to make you feel bad for proving me wrong and I’m going to use emotions to get back at you,” stage.
My wife sometimes calls me “Spock”. She sees it as an insult but I take it as a compliment. I consider it a compliment that I am able to remove emotion from an argument to solve it. She sees it as calling be a cold and callous person (something that would be an insult to her.)
Understanding the person you are dealing with is key to both hurting and helping them.
I have often enlisted my wife’s friends to help me get my point across. See, if I tell my wife (for example) that the walls should be painted blue she will argue and go for red. If I can get her friend to tell her that blue would be a good color pick she will go with blue. The key is that she can not know that I told her friend to tell her that.
I don’t know why that is but it is.
Urban Thought: My friend Shirley sent me today’s post as a joke.
HMTKSteve: What a convoluted way of communicating.
You wrote “used to” so I gather you’ve changed your method of communicating? It makes me wonder if you’ve changed or if she’s changed or both?
With respect to why your wife has to argue with you – it’s probably all about ego and a feeling of control. Somehow she can’t let you make or contribute to the decision – she has to make it. Just guessing.
Sometimes people want control of all the “little things” (remote control, furniture placement, how laundry is done) because they don’t feel they have control or power in larger areas of their life (where to live, how money is spent…)
Yes, it’s all about control. She does all the driving and I sit next to her and say nothing at all about her driving. If I do she gets quite angry.
Part of the reason is that I am very logical. If I have a task to do, any task that requires repetition (brushing teeth, eating cereal, etc…) I try it differently every time until I find the optimal way to do it. I then only do it that way.
There some things that can never be done in an optimal fashion because too many elements are beyond your control. Sex is one of those areas where doing the same thing everytime is bad, programming is not.
Because of this I have mapped out all of the optimal driving routes near my home to get anywhere I need to go. My wife would sooner get in an accident than ask me for directions or “driving tips” while in the car.
Oh yes, I control the remote when my daughter is not monopolizing it. I also fold the laundry. Five years in the service teaches you how to fold laundry. My wife can not fold laundry to save her life!
It’s also about goals and reasons. When I fold laundry my goal is to fold it so as to take up the least amount of space as possible without causing wrinkles or other bad things. My wife’s goal in regards to laundry is to just get it put away. That is why I do all the folding of the laundry, my reasoning is that I simply do it better and more efficiently.
She does the cooking and I do the clean-up. It’s not that I can’t cook it’s just that I know the optimal way to cook the dishes I do cook and it bugs the heck out of her! When I make (boxed) Mac and cheese I make the cheese suace in its own pan and then add in the cooked macaroni. She just pours the powder and milk in with the macaroni! End result? Her sauce is clumpy and powdery while mine is smooth.
I’m not saying I’m perfect in everyway and I know I would not want to live with a perfect person. In fact there are some things I intentionaly do wrong just so I will not be perfect. Annoying her friends is one thing I “wrong”
With all of these comments I could have just written my own blog post!
Before you walk away with the impression that I am some cold emotionless beast understand something. One of the most useful skills I picked up while in the military is the ability compartmentalize my thoughts. When you have a mission to do that could result in deaths on both sides you need to be able to keep a clear head and just get the mission done. It’s not about bravery or heroics, it’s about realizing the importance of the task at hand and blocking out all things that do not pertain to getting it done.
Besides, I’m a barrel of laughs! My wife is always laughing at me! Wait a minute… laughing with me… I think she is laughing with me…
HMTKSteve: I’ve been reading all your comments and then thought the very same thing – you needed to write a post, something about love and logic, marriage and compromise! You sound like you know how to compromise.
Compromise, yes.
I compromise because woman will forgive but they never forget! Men, well… what was I talking about again?
HMTKSteve: Yep, women tend to have a long and detailed memory. I think it’s part of the ability that recalls birthdays, anniversaries, how you like your coffee and what you wore on your first date.
Men just try to make sure all those things happen on the same day.
“Honey, why did we get married on my birthday?”
“I.. uh… wanted to make that day extra special for you!”
“And why did you tell the doctor to schedule me for a C-Section on our anniversary?”
“I.. uh.. wanted to make that day even more special!”
“But, I was only 5 months pregnant on our anniversary.”
“Details details…”
haha I got a good laugh out of this one..
-Gregg
“bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, now !!!”
How come you wrote that twice?
Haha. Just kidding. Great post Ms. Q. It’s so true … I’m a poster child for selective hearing.
Shane: glad you enjoyed it – wish I had written it but it was a joke sent to me by Shirley! It fit in so well with HMTKSteve’s post of the day that I had to use it!
Who doesn’t have selective hearing??