Jun 25 2007
Some Needs You Never Outgrow
My mom and I were talking on the phone today when she said, “I read your blog.”
My mom tries to read my blog but between wrestling with Vista, feeling demoralized by Match.com and dealing with all the prompts for software updates, she usually runs out of steam and turns off the computer before she thinks to read my blog.
“But you’re in my Favorites!” she assures me.
“I read the one with all the pictures, the one about Robben Island.”
“What did you think?” I ask.
“It made me sad. I liked it, though. I liked what you said at the end, it was like poetry.”
It was very nice to hear her say that.
“I was reading it and I was thinking…”
“Yes?” I prompt. Her voice had trailed off, grown quiet.
“I was thinking…my daughter wrote this?” She sounded awed.
I had nothing to say for a moment. I was remembering her words, hearing the way she said them.
“…my daughter wrote this?”
Tears were running down my face.
My mother’s voice was filled with awe. Awe and pride.
“Mom, I really appreciate your telling me that. It means a lot to me. Thank you.”
“Really? But I’m just your mom…”
“Hearing you say that means more to me than what anyone else has to say.”
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i told you it was good!
Gary:
That’s great. I don’t think parents realize the value of the simple words they can tell their children. The impact of the simplest words go unnoticed by them sometimes. That is great Ms. Q.
One thing I have learned as a father is that you can never truly connect with your parents until you become a parent.
UT: Yeah, it felt really good.
I wasn’t raised with much praise. Might be a Chinese thing. Straight A’s, being successful, all a given. Unfortunately, I ended up not knowing how to give praise myself. Fortunately, a friend pointed this out to me and I learned how encouraging praise can be for someone.
My mom wasn’t raised with much praise, either. I’ve learned to praise her efforts in dealing with her OCD and ADHD and so we’re both helping each other grow.
HMTKSteve: I’ve heard new parents say that yes, they now have a greater appreciation of what their parents went through. From that understanding they were then able to form a closer relationship with them.