Jul 02 2007
I Thought I’d Found “The One”
This is an actual personal ad.
I’m hoping that the guy is as “goofy/witty” as advertised as this is too freakin’ funny to be real.
Unfortunately, I do not fit his criteria. I think you know which ones. Dang!
I only reformatted the ad to make it easier to read. The text is unchanged.
The ad:
I am very much into weightlifting, running,and stretching.
I also like outdoor sports( surfing, snowboarding, skiing, fishing, sailing, camping).
I work out a lot but lately haven’t had time for the outdoor stuff, because I’ve been working so much.
It really doesn’t matter to me if you are into outdoor activities, if you are great.
I have a goofy/witty sense of humor. I would like to meet someone who knows how to laugh at life. I am a modivated person with definite goals. I was almost married a few years ago, but that wasn’t meant to be.
I consider myself a romantic man. I love going to dinner somewhere nice, drinking wine and flirting.
i also like cooking really tasty food at home.
I like traditional women, the kind that let me pay for dinner.
I am not attracted to skinny or slim women.
I prefer curvy/healthy women. No hardbody women, please. I am not into flat chested women with no hips.
She must also have a strong sexual appetite, I guess that would all depend on our chemistry.
Nothing over 190 lbs., Definitely no smokers or deeply religious people.
Not really looking for anything serious right away, but if something developes, that would be great.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey not bad…I’m disqualified by virtue of the “deeply religious” part, (though not your *typical* deeply religious person I think).
So are you going to answer?!?! You may as well – the one woman who fits every last criteria could be already married or a lesbian or something. :-0 :-0 :-0
Only thing is, I think he might not know how to spell “motivated”…those things are pretty hard to write (I tried to write my brother’s some years ago). I’d say he did okay.
Jill: YOU must be joking! He wasn’t my type – a bit of a dark Schwartzeneggar. Or however you spell Arnold’s last name.
He misspelled “develop” as well. I did find “wasn’t meant to be” hilariously (and hopefully) deadpan.
Nope. I pass on this guy.
Geez, what a specific and demanding set of requests from this guy!
I always think it’s funny when personals ad men think they’re such hot shit that they can make outrageous demands and include “need not respond.”
Dude, if they’re writing personals ads, they’re probably not hot enough shit to go setting specific requirements…
Irisi: I find it refreshing when someone just spells out what they want. No guessing around here! There are actually quite a few hot men with personal ads out there.
This ad is so funny that if it is intentional he did a bit too good of a job with it.
My own ad doesn’t spell out what I want quite so raw and specifically but in my own way I am picky or as I would like to think, discerning.
LOL I got a good laugh out of that. Although, he does seem like one of those guys that will always be young at heart!! Which isn’t always that bad!!
-Gregg
Yeah…it’s still better than the one I wrote for my brother, which I think went something like, “I’m looking for…oh, who am I trying to kid? I don’t know what the heck I’m looking for. Forget it.”
He actually did find his wife through internet dating, but indirectly. An acquaintance of his who didn’t realize he was divorced & available happened to be clicking around, saw his ad and set him up. Literally set him up, because what the friend said was that this woman needed help/direction on her PhD & my brother didn’t realize he was on a date.
Jill: I like the one you wrote for your brother better.
Nice story though – nice to read about someone who recovers from divorce and finds love again.
At least he didn’t ask you to send him a picture of your bass boat!
HMTKSteve: Thank goodness for that! But the ad is so whacky! I mean, “i also like cooking really tasty food”
The photos were funny, too. One had him at a bar drinking and looking like he was having fun another had him in front of blank wall or something, hands clasped in front, his body angled away from the camera and his head tilted up. He had this “I am ready to defend my country” look.