Jul 09 2007
Are You Tame?
“You were wild once…Don’t let them tame you.” -Isadore Duncan
We all learn to behave.
We have rules of social behavior because if we didn’t, we’d have chaos.
We need to have some idea of what to expect.
That’s okay. I guess. But there are so many expectations.
So. Very. Many.
Society expects you to be.
People expect you to do.
Everyone is expecting you.
What would you do if there were no expectations?
What would you do if no one were expecting you?
Would you show up?
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Suddenly, I’m thinking of a Duran Duran tune from the ’80’s – Wild Boys.
They tried to tame you
Looks like they’ll try again
Wild boys never lose it
Wild boys never chose this way
Wild boys never close your eyes
Wild boys always shine
There would be less pressure and inhibitions, that’s for sure.
ack: That was a blast from the past. But I had visions of feathered hair. Eee.
Ricardo: I was thinking how sometimes I’ll be in my car going somewhere I have to go but don’t really want to and I think, yeah, what if I kept driving?
What if I had no plan, just did whatever came to mind?
Tame? If I learned one thing while in the military it is that the most savage beast is the civilized man. With a wild animal you know it’s needs and wants. With man, you can never know.
The old line from many a western movie was, “I’d just as soon kill ya as look at ya.” That is the defining mantra of many a man today.
Though I am soft and fuzzy to those who know me inside lurks a man who will, “just as soon look at ya as kill ya.” I don’t mean that in a cold way but, if you try my patience I will give you a fair warning. If you hurt my family all bets are off.
I believe a man should be the one to put his dog down if the dog needs to be put down. Some jobs you just do not farm out. I have had to have some of my cats “put to sleep” due to illness and injury. Everytime I made sure to be the one at the vets office when the injection was given. I cradled those cats beyond their last breath. Yeah, it hurt a lot getting to that point but I’d rather they died on my lap then some cold metal table, alone and afraid.
Am I tame? No. Am I civilized? Only when I need to be.
HMTKSteve: Whew! Great comment and thanks for making me think. I’d forgotten how we really don’t know what beats in the heart of man.
I admit that I do like knowing that when it comes right down to it, a man will and can protect me. Very primal. I’ve seen men go into Full Alert – their physiology even changes!
That’s why I wrote that we have these rules of social behavior – otherwise there would be chaos as we took what we wanted when we wanted.
Which reminds me of my answer to the question, “So what is the type of man you’re looking for?”
This is in addition to the aforementioned weakness for a lean body, sculpted shoulders, dark curly hair, incredible vocabulary and the library card.
I reply, “I am looking for a Warrior-Poet.”
Yep, Warrior first. Poet last.
Makes sense, right? We’re all safe in our valley. Now we can talk about how pretty it is.
I’m telling ya, not a whole lotta Warrior-Poets running amok where I live.
We are out there. We’re just married
HMTKSteve: Tell me about it. Arrrrrgggggh. I meet the nicest men who are in love with their wives. I’m happy for them but DANG!
I’ve had that car thought. I think, “you know….I could drive to Canada or Mexico or something .” And I could if I was impulsive enough.
Yeah…sane, unmarried warrior poets are particularly scarce…
I do think about that balance a lot, between doing what’s expected & doing what I want. It’s occured to me that I might even overschedule accidentally on purpose subconciously every now & then, because then some of the expected should-do’s fall off the schedule…of course, the ratio of should-dos to fun stuff that falls off can’t always be exactly right.
Ricardo: I’m such a planner/organizer type that it would take I am not sure what, some major shift for me to just do something totally impulsive. Even my impulsive stuff is within a Zone of Safety!
I’m responsible so I show up! I’m pretty tame. Highly domesticated.
Jill: ah, “Sane” is a good attribute to add to the warrior-poet. Reduces my pool of Mr. Q’s even further.
Over-schedule-accidentally on purpose? I dunno if you should change this. If you didn’t have a life that runneth over, what the heck would you write about?
Society definitely plays a big role in how people behave and what we do. People also expect others to behave a particular way in certain situations…Sometimes we just need to break out of the box and be ourselves and not worry about what the world or others expect.
I see it as…society controls us. We’re expected to go to school and graduate then get a job. It’s the social norm…and when someone breaks that norm, people look at that person in a weird way or think they’re crazy.
If no one expected anything from me, I’d probably take a year off from school to enjoy myself. Definitely blog, but I’d also have more time to start my own business and do things like learn to play the piano and photogrpahy. Except, my father doesn’t agree with taking a year off from school!!
Gregg: Yes, society does play a big role in controlling our behavior. It’s difficult to break free of what I think of as The Program of: school->degree->job->marriage->home->children.
Parents worry about their children losing momentum when it comes to school. Even if the “kid” is thought to be a “good kid” : responsible, respectful, no drugs, no so-called freaky stuff.
Is it the UK that has the ‘Gap Year’ – when you take a year off?
I go back and forth on the gap idea. I went right to junior college and did all the prereqs hoping to come up with a major. Nothing came to me. I continued for another year or so and finally I had to quit – I didn’t have any clue and I didn’t want to waste my time dinking around. My current career didn’t need a degree anyway – I was a florist.
However, when I went back to school, hmm, maybe 4 years later, I was very determined. I hadn’t had any math in 10 years and I went from high school Trig to university Calculus and it was in the dept of engineering so…calc for engineers, physics for engineers, owwwww. I am not naturally good at math and was pretty much all right-brained at the time.
The break was a good thing for me. I needed the time to change.
You seem pretty determined and have a good sense of who you are. Seems like you could take a year off. But hey, I don’t have all that parental stuff hanging off me!
Ricardo – Do it quick!!!!!! Before you have kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Their school schedules put a real damper on that kind of thing…
I would definitely like my kids to take a year break. I had a great time my first year of college, and my courses eventually did me some good when I went back for teaching certification over ten years later, but all I did was coast.
Jill: My guess is you will leave it up to your kids to decide? Maybe they want to attend the same colleges as their friends which usually means they go straight from high school!
I don’t recall Ricardo having a great big interest in marriage (not that marriage is a prerequisite for children) in the near future so he probably has a few more years to fly high and free and maybe just keep driving…