Aug 14 2007
Five Uplifting Days: Day 2 – Walking the Hero’s Path
Have you ever known what you must do and then…. not done it?
What stopped you?
I know what stops me: Fear.
I am not someone who feels excited and challenged by new things. I like to circle around it, study it, prepare, and ponder. No sudden movements!
But you can’t prepare for everything in life, can you? Sometimes you have to step off into the unknown.
I’ve overcome many fears in my life. What drove me to overcome them was the fear of not living.
I have always had the sense that life was more than just following a script.
I’ve always thought that life was meant to be joyous, that you should embrace the day, that a life without passion was not a life at all.
Each time I overcame a fear, each time I challenged myself, I expanded my world, my possibilities.
I also believe that things happen for a reason – the losses that I’ve experienced, the pains I have endured, the people I have met, the joys, the sorrows – all were necessary for me to learn and grow.
Right now I’m stuck at a crossroad. I know what path I must take but I am afraid.
I have been using every trick in the book to move myself forward but I’m still stuck.
I know that I will move forward because I must. I know that everything I have gone through was to prepare me for this very moment. This long and very drawn out moment.
Those of you who have read my blog for the past few months may have sensed my struggles.
Right now I know what I must do and why I must do it. I know that if I take this leap into the great unknown that I will discover within myself a wellspring of strength. I know that everything I need to move forward is within me and I just have to release it. I know that I must face my fears because I will become who I am meant to be.
Things happen for a reason.
I recently emailed a friend who moved to another country. I hadn’t emailed him in over 6 months, probably because I knew he had limited Internet access. Over a decade ago he urged me to do something that changed my life. I’ve always admired how true to himself he is, how he follows his own path and how he’s reinvented himself over and over again.
He doesn’t Tell, he Does.
Something inside me, probably my Inner Voice, urged me to email him. I told him of all my struggles and how much I admired him for his leaps into the unknown, the biggest being his leaving his life in the States to begin a new one in another country.
Things happen for a reason.
He now had regular Internet access and he responded to me the next day. He distilled all my struggles into a very powerful and inspiring metaphor. His metaphor was the Hero’s Path.
Here is what he wrote (I have edited it slightly and added the title):
The Hero’s Path
I know from my own experiences in life that the more I put myself out there, the more exciting my life has become. Yes, there are moments of stress, but they are mine, things I created and not things out of my control.
I know that every time I leapt to some different place (career, location, etc), I experienced, at first, fear – then joy unlike anything I could have experienced unless I had taken that leap.
I have found that being happy or sad in one’s life has a lot to do with our choices.
I mean: our only choices in life are two paths – just two.
Religion, politics, and nationalism only obscure this. The themes of many movies deal with these choices, except with movies the focus is on people choosing the wrong path.
After living though my life I believe that we only get to choose between the path of the hero, and the path of the coward, infinitely, everyday, and at every moment throughout our lives.
The reason we are depressed, lonely and out of control comes from not having the courage to choose the hero’s path, the path of courage, and the path not often taken. After all, this is really the story of Jesus. And, I think that is why so many people follow him to this day.
However, what his life stood has been stolen by those who would use it for their own ends. That’s why I hate religion, nationalism, and politics. These things only serve to separate people, not bring them together as they should.
The more I have let go of fear the more related to other people I have become. I now only see people, and the interesting ways they interrupt their lives.
All I can offer you, as your friend, is to say: follow the path of courage, and every time you choose this path, your first feeling will be fear. Only after you make this leap, and go through fear will you feel joy. If you do this over and over, one day fear will become your friend, and a guide post to the hero’s path. And, every time you choose the path of courage your life, and your comfort space, will become larger.
Choosing the hero’s path doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen; it just means that at that moment you have taken your life in your own hands.
Nothing is for certain; things can change at any moment, except it and don’t be afraid. Knowing that life is uncertain will allow you to plan ahead and have different options. And not to hold on to one way of living at the expense of other ways.
Looking back on my life: the only things I regret now are the times that I didn’t come up with the courage to walk the hero’s path, and that is all.
This is my story.
I hope to make it my story as well.
“When you come to the end of everything you know, and the next step is into the depths of darkness of the great unknown, you must believe one of two things: Either you will step out onto firm ground or you will be taught to fly.” -Patrick Overton
A post-within-a-post:
The photos included here were taken on Lantau Island where I went to see the Tian Tan Buddha Statue also referred to as “The Big Buddha.”
I took that trip during a long layover at the Hong Kong Airport on the way home from my first trip to Cape Town. The trip to see The Big Buddha was itself a walk on the Hero’s Path. I knew the layover was long enough to take a short day trip.
I had no plan other than to get out of my comfort zone and do something unplanned. I would not allow anything to stop me. I missed the guided tours. I looked at the train schedule. I pondered hanging out in my airline’s first class lounge for the next 7 hours.
I said to myself, “I can’t miss this opportunity. I owe it to myself. Who knows when I’ll be in Hong Kong again?”
I had no plan but I knew what I had to do.
I kept searching and asking for help and I ended up taking first a shuttle to Ngong Ping Skyrail and then the Skyrail to Lantau Island.
That’s my shadow on The Wisdom Path. That’s me and my Big Purple Backpack. That’s me walking on the Hero’s Path.
We each have our own fears to face. Walking the path of the hero is living with passion.
I hope the metaphor of walking the Hero’s Path encourages and inspires you to follow your dreams, to overcome your fears.
Day 2 down, just 3 more to go!
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MsQ, you’re post is indeed inspiring, as is your entire blog by the way!
But more importantly, I sincerely want to wish you the strength and luck to take the crossroad you appear to be stuck at.. Listen to your inner voice, as you always advice your own readers! I hope these 5 day postings are already a step forward for you..
I wanted to leave you a url to India Arie’s song ‘Strength, Courage and Wisdom’, but can’t find a decent video anywhere…you might want to listen to it someday!
Ellen: I love India Arie! I have bookmarked quite a few of her YouTube songs and have her “Testimony: vol 1, Life & Relationships” album.
The album doesn’t have the song you mentioned but it’s very uplifting (like most of her work).
I’m glad you’re finding my blog inspiring. The more I listen to my Inner Voice the better I hear it. I have faith I’ll get unstuck because well, I have to. For me, walking the path of the hero is not much of a choice. If I don’t take that next step, I may as well give up living. As my friend told me, I will experience joy walking the path of the hero. I don’t see joy staying on my current path.
MsQ: As for your blog: Definitely! I’ve been reading more of your old posts and I really like your sense of humour, and the careful (and exactly right) degree of personal info you put into it. Just as your blog indicates, you give me something to think about, an inspiration to ‘grow’ and that’s quite rare! Thanks, honestly!!
As far as India Arie is concerned.. You really, really should consider also getting her first album, Acoustic Soul. It includes her alltime best ‘Video’ (which is on Youtube), and this song I mentioned, Strength, Courage and Wisdom (see http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/indiaarie/strengthcouragewisdom.html for the lyrics). Your post reminded of it so much, that I just had to mention it to you. I thought maybe it could be of help to you, but it looks like you’re already quite determined on what you are going to do! Good for you!!
I’m sure this determination will be lead the way for you to conquer those fears..
Ellen: Thanks so much for your support and I’m glad you like my sense of humor. I was just checking your English blog, Positive Communication. I’m still amazed at how well people from Netherlands speak English. I began reading Jos’ “NoDirectOn” blog and I am embarrassed at how people from other countries generally know their country’s language AND English.
Wow, I also see that you added me to your blogroll. I’m honored.
So you’re going through my old posts – whew!
It took me a while to get used to putting more personal information. A friend said that he started to enjoy my posts more when I started letting more of “ME” come through. As I began to read more blogs I realized that the blogs I liked had writers who did share more of their personal story with me. Once I began sharing more of myself, my writing changed as well as if being more free with myself allowed my writing to be free, too.
I have found I think best when I write – at least when it comes to working through personal issues and relationships. I recently started journaling (using the journaling software recommended by Steve Pavlina).
I do have India Arie’s “Acoustic Soul” on my list! I tried to search for the song you mentioned as well (the lyrics are beautiful) but have not found one featuring India singing. I may use her “Video” song in my next post. Not sure as my next post is still in the works. It was supposed to be today’s post but urk, it wasn’t flowing.
With respect to facing my current fear, I know that one day what I am fearing will no longer be a fear. In my own way I have been doing Steve Pavlina’s favorite meditation (I link to it in my post above) but not to his level of visualization (although I do it now). In the past I have imagined that the fear I was experiencing would be “old hat” in the future.
I remember when I first began driving. I was so nervous that my feet would literally tremble and shake! I would get into the car and check everything and of course the radio was off. Freeways terrified me. Well, a bit of an overstatement but I was pretty nervous.
I remember thinking that someday I would be driving on “automatic pilot” that someday I’d be like everyone else, throwing my bag on the passenger seat and buckling my seatbelt at the same time as I was starting the car and probably changing radio channels while driving!
Driving is no big deal for me and hasn’t been for years. I’ve overcome the fear of public speaking, asking what I want, saying no, saying yes (!) and saying I love you first.
Overall I have been very fortunate – most of the time I have been able to take the more challenging path and usually it’s because I don’t have to walk alone.
Hi MsQ, well.. I can totally relate to what you’re saying about having to share more personal information on your blog.. I am, as a result of reading and learning from other blogs (like yours!), in the process of redefining my own blog (I’ve written on it in my last post).
I know that, in order of having any chance of inspiring people, I have to be able to formulate my own inspiration and passion on a subject, instead of describing it in a ‘cold’ and business like manner.. It’s difficult, since I’m more of the introvert type, but also quite a beautiful challenge!
And I too agree that meditation is an important way of being quiet and listening to that inner voice.. I also find that writing helps me to sit down and listen..
Thanks for your inspiring and personal answer and new posts! I do think your strength and insights are truly amazing!!
Ellen: I left a comment on your latest blog post. I began my own blog as a bit remote – a bit “Ms. Q on the Mount” which doesn’t really allow people to connect!
As you work your way to becoming more expressive and passionate and open in your writing, you may find that seeping into your personal relationships. You may also gain more clarity because in trying to convey how you’re feeling to others, you have to understand more about yourself. Blogging can definitely be a guide to self-understanding as I wrote about here.
I also encourage you to write in a manner that resonates deeply with you. I think of it as “your blog, your rules”
Everyone has their own style. Remain true to yourself, align with your purpose and your own joy will draw the right people to you!
Let your passion for social campaigns and making a difference in the lives of children shine through.
And thank you, once again, for your kind words. They do help and inspire me to keep writing. I do like to think that I am in my small way helping others.
MsQ: You are doing a fine job, here!
Elen: If I may, I would like to give you some small advice, as I know you are searching for the right direction wih your blog.
You should absolutely write on your blog exactly the way you do here! Personal, but not ‘too popular’. Write as if you are writing about your thoughts, and with 1 person in mind only. That should give the focus to stay with your inner tone of voice, and help you avoid trying too hard to be ‘personal’ or confuse that with ‘popular’. Be personal, in terms of the content, don’t be personal in the style of writing.. Just like you did in your comments above.
Jos: thanks!
And you give Ellen great advice! She is very personable in her comments and I love your tip to write as if you’re speaking to one person and not go for “popular”
I hadn’t thought of the way I write in this manner – this idea of speaking to someone one-on-one but that is actually my approach. I was encouraged to blog by my friends due to them enjoying my emails so much. I have essentially modified my email style to a blog.
You’ve really made me think about the way I write. Yes, speaking to one person “out there” is great advice! It’s like, I am sharing this with you, my friend.
It feels a bit uncomfortable at times but sharing your imperfections, your human “failings” allows people to connect to you as well. I realize it all depends on your comfort level.
ms. Q: It is good to see that you are aware of that. It is exactly what I thought when I started reading your blog. You are writing very well, in a personal way, but with integroty, and you are not overly anxious to write in order to attract attention to yourself too much, or in order to be ‘popular’, or – what many bloggers unfortunately do – write as if more concerned about your ‘image’ as a ‘popular’ person. It seems you have found that inner balance very well..
I find that visitors need to feel ‘at ease’ on a blog, sort of like ‘at home’. This means that they must be able to identify with not only the content, and with the way comments are answered, but also with the ‘tone of voice’. Many many blogs scare me away because the owners just overdo it, they are constantly trying to be funny by writing with lots of allusive emoticons, or are constantly trying to impress people with how funny, nice, overly polite or enthusiastic, extatic or whatever they are.
A blog should simply be an interesting blog, not an adamant advertisement for the owner, who is ‘desparately’ trying to be friends with everyone, on one side, or a ‘cold businesslike’ journal on the other side.
I am struggling with this balance myself, too. But I KNOW that what you say is true: be true to your inner self and you will attract visitors that are somewhat ’similar’ to you. Be untrue to yourself, and you will attract visitors you don’t really want or no visitors at all. I you want to write for people that are not very similar to you: go into the advertising industry
Take care! Hope to talk to you more.. Looking forward to your 7P’s ;p
Jos