With regard to making friends – hhmm…. I’m thinking about the people I know who have very few friends – like none or 1. I am not sure if “loner” fits all but that may be how it appears to the outside world. One guy I knew was incredibly angry. Angry all the time. Judgmental, argued with everyone. I was his friend, wanted to remain his friend but he figured out a way to get rid of me, too. It wasn’t until later when I saw that he managed to push every person who might care about him out of his life.

Another guy was paranoid. Someone else I knew “didn’t have the time.” He was constantly criticizing everyone and expecting them to live up to what, I don’t know.

Hmm. I don’t recall any women who didn’t have friends. Anyway, the theme seems to be that all the people (men) I have known who had 1 or zero friends (with me being the possible 1 friend) were highly critical, and incredibly judgmental of others (really harsh).

Speaking of punchlines, I think you can guess what’s next… I think at their core, all these men were depressed and they were depressed because they did not like themselves. When you don’t feel worthy of love, you don’t allow people to love you.

You write, no boom today, boom tomorrow. How about, no love today, love tomorrow. Amazingly, there is love out there. A lot of freakin’ love. You have to believe in it to be able to feel it.

Okay. I might have been a little cold, but it’s how I really did feel. We spoke a little about things and stuff. She went her way, I went mine. I have my answer to both questions I had for her. One explictly (she’s okay), and the other implicitly (no response means …).

So, we’re ready to move on. Still, it strikes me as completely odd that she read the message within a day, and didn’t respond.

No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow.

– Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5.

Pain? Oh, yeah. We’re old friends. I almost let the beast out last weekend. He wants to, but I’m not sure how much good he’ll do.

It’ll fade, I’m sure. Hopefully the message I sent yesterday will serve as a good letting go for me. The true test will be later, when we run into each other again, and how that feels. We shall see if it’s like opening the same wound all over again, or if it’s different. (I’m hoping for diminished, but time will tell.)

I’m sorry you feel like you’re being pushed away. I am sorry if you’re feeling pain now.

As for her, the crappy part is that I think we could intersect, but I feel like I’m being pushed away. Oh, well. Time to move on.

As for the quote, that was more for other folks as it’s a TV quote. (Hint: sci fi tv series from several years ago.)