Sep 25 2007

Do You Musturbate?

Published by MsQ at 1:06 pm under Humor, Personal Growth

Most of us musturbate.

If you do too much of it, you won’t go blind but you may get depressed.

What is musturbation?

It is the destructive idea that our needs and expectations must be met.


I must be perfect.
I must be loved by everyone.
I have to…
I should…

“Musturbation” was coined by Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational-emotive behavior therapy. He used it to describe someone who tells themselves obsessively that they must do this or that.

I came across the term in the book: Why We Believe What We Believe: Uncovering Our Biological Need for Meaning, Spirituality, and Truth by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman

How can musturbation make you depressed? Well, certain thoughts and beliefs can cause stress. If you have unrealistic expectations for yourself and others, or excessive guilt or if you’re overly competitive you’re probably musturbating.

The more you musturbate, the higher the probability that you have negative beliefs about yourself.

I must be thinner…
I must be better…
I must…

Most mustubators tend to over-generalize, dividing things into all-or-nothing categories:

I always…
I never…

Or become illogical with their over-generalizations:

I’m a bad person when I do bad things.

[What's a "bad thing"? Not recycling enough? Drinking coffee? Watching TV?]

So…Do YOU musturbate?

I gotta...I should...I must...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

12 responses so far

12 Responses to “Do You Musturbate?”

  1. Derek Wongon 25 Sep 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Well that…was different than your usual entries. It was highly shocking to read that title for your feed! And yet it was a little bit insightful and in line with your “love thyself” posts. I’m not really sure if I should ask what brought this post about…

  2. MsQon 25 Sep 2007 at 3:53 pm

    Derek: I’m currently reading about 5 books and one of them is: “Why We Believe What We Believe.” It’s fascinating book on beliefs using brain scans (like ..where are beliefs “stored”? Are some people predisposed to believe in a higher power?)

    The book had a section on Negative Beliefs and it mentioned the term “musturbation” which fits in with my love of words, goofy sense of humor and … well, the thought that we should (another MUST!) have positive belief systems.

    So…replace a vowel and you get what is jokingly thought of as “self love.”

    So.. either version fits in with my blog …doncha think? hahaha!

  3. Susan Qon 25 Sep 2007 at 6:19 pm

    Huh? Hehehe. interesting Ms Q, very interesting.

    I do it, and I don’t have a complex about myself. hehehe. There, I said it.

  4. Jillon 25 Sep 2007 at 10:25 pm

    I hate the “I should”s the worst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although I have to admit to having let go of a heck of a lot of shoulds over the past year too. I try and ask myself about my use of time and whether I’m doing something because I want to or because I should and why I feel like I should…anyway, funny title!!! :-) :-) :-)

  5. Urban Thoughton 26 Sep 2007 at 12:16 pm

    Here I thought you were making up the word. Who knew that someone would write a book about the subject? Actually, that isn’t so odd.

    I seem to do it all the time. More often than I should. It is something that is being worked on. But would I be human if I didn’t do it?

  6. Eric "Speedcat Hollydale"on 27 Sep 2007 at 1:32 am

    I MUST go to work, other than that – why worry!
    …as a side note, sometimes I play hooky :-)

  7. MsQon 27 Sep 2007 at 11:53 am

    Susan Q: Hahaha! Well, if you don’t have a complex about it, you SHOULD ;-)

    Jill: Great on letting go of “shoulds” and going more for “wants”!!

    UT: I read that “shoulds” are what other people have written on the “walls” of our “house”! So we keep reading these messages and they keep us in various rooms of our house.

    I like what Jill brought up about Wants and Shoulds. The motivation very different! One is “heart-centered” and the other is probably fear-centered.

    If I want to say, volunteer at the homeless shelter, that’s heart-centered. If I feel I *should* because it’ll make me seem like a nice person … it all goes back to fear (”People won’t like me if I don’t help…”)

    Speedcat: I’m glad you play hooky!! Actually, I am not quite sure when you actually work. I know you take taxis and are at airports but working….not quite sure when you have time for that…

  8. Sueon 27 Sep 2007 at 12:08 pm

    I wanted to add that I am going to share this with my mom. There is a history of ‘musterbation’ in my mom’s lineage, and she would find this interesting!

  9. MsQon 27 Sep 2007 at 12:36 pm

    Sue (aka Susan Q!): Yes, musterbation can be a problem that is passed down from generation to generation.

  10. asteron 19 Oct 2007 at 8:08 am

    Nice feed MsQ it perfectly describe my case, but i don’t agree to generalize it as some people just do it for fun with no much complexities as said by susan.

    just to mention i found this link when i asked this question to google “why musturbate”, I really feel depressed after i musturbate and i feel that i MUST before i do it.

  11. MsQon 19 Oct 2007 at 8:17 am

    aster: This post was both tongue-in-cheek and some truth! I musterbate and have lots of thing I feel that I must do (be perfect….earrgggggh) which is stressful. Like: I must respond to all comments.

    I’ve noticed that people googling on “musterbate” find there way to this post! I figure there’s a lotta people who are miss-spelling!

  12. Urban Thoughton 19 Oct 2007 at 4:52 pm

    Funny you speak of searching for musterbate. It wasn’t until after you posted is when I did my own search. You find many results. People actually associate it with masturbate.

    The Web is nuts. And we are all running around like squirrels (well, not all of us).

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