Oct 03 2007
Let’s Talk Toilet Paper
I am a woman.
Women typically * use 3 rolls of toilet paper for every one a man does.
If you want to know if a man or woman is living in a home, you don’t even need to see inside it. Just ask how many rolls of toilet paper there are.
If there are more than 5 rolls of toilet paper in the house, a woman probably lives (or regularly visits) there.
Woman’s residence: Minimum 3 rolls of toilet paper per bathroom.
Man’s residence: Minimum of 1 roll of toilet paper but they always have a box of tissues. Hmmm.
Test: Does a man or a woman reside in the home that contains the basket below?
Answer: Woman. A woman who is looking at the empty space and wondering if she needs to buy more.
While we’re talking Toilet Paper, what do you think about Toilet Paper Covers?
I find Toilet Paper Covers freaky.
If you saw that on my toilet tank, even if it were Halloween, would you find it freaky?
Would you find ME freaky?
If you found it strangely…exciting, I’d find YOU freaky.
If you had this in YOUR bathroom, I’d find you really cool:
* In keeping with the theme of this post, the facts here are coming out of my, well…
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I would not do the toilet paper cover thing. I would not think you are freaky, though. I love the basket idea. I should do that as well. Currently, all of my rolls are on a shelf in the closet, within easy reach though if you need one in a hurry. My husband said when I was away for two weeks they only went through a few rolls. My kids were at my mom’s during the day.
Or…they shop at a warehouse store and buy everything (including toilet paper) in bulk.
Toilet paper covers are freaky indeed. And I’d think a little unsanitary. How many rolls do you keep by your toilet? Is that basket yours??
You are so right. My girl keeps about 16 rolls minimum. As for my work out buddy, he keeps all of three at a time. But he doesn’t keep any tissue around. He does have wetnaps though.
Sue: I don’t like to keep toilet paper rolls out – just seems too “toilety” if you know what I mean! But having some special cover or decoration for the spare roll, that seems a bit much. I’ve seen baskets and boxes for the spare roll(s) or even a pole where you can stack ‘em by the toilet. Those are OK if you just don’t have the space.
Derek: yes, I did think about how some men buy in bulk and have the space for it! That’s less of a “gotta have a lot of TP just in case” type of thing than “I hate shopping and want to buy every day items in massive quantities”
Yes, I agree with you on the unsanitary aspect of the TP covers. You would bring that up! A man after my own Purell-loving heart! hehehe. They look like big dust catchers. But I guess you can toss ‘em in the wash.
Yes, the basket is mine. I was going to put all the TP rolls in a cabinet or something which takes up way too much space and then I had that empty basket and thought…hmmm.
UT: Your girl probably buys the big packs – I like to get the double rolls (I dislike changing TP) – on sale ! and load up. Most men seem to buy one pack (4 rolls) at time. Generally 1 roll seems to last a week. Which I find unbelievable.
You know a guy that doesn’t have tissues? Maybe he’s over at his girlfriend’s more than at home.
JILL: As a fellow Bathroom Afficionado, I am counting on you to leave a comment!!
I like those 1000 sheet giant rolls that last for a good long time. Anyone that buys boutique brand TP’s with scents and lotions is to far to stylish for the normal joe.
It has been some time since I’ve seen dialog on the wiper issue. I belive that the toilet paper “hat” will only be as tasteful as the bathroom in which it resides! The BEST TP cover ever? It looked like a roll of toilet paper.
MsQ, this post will forever remain in my thoughts. Everytime from now till eternity, I will be reminded of the “Pumpkin Scott” cover when encountering a strange new TP dressing.
Eric “Speedcat Hollydale” 1000
So random but good! My roommates girlfriend was here last night….we only had one roll of toilet paper and she was looking for more! I also got a chuckle when you said that we always have tissue… ha!
My grandmother used to hide the TP under those TP sweaters. Scary times!!!!
As someone who lives with two females I have to say that they can tear through a roll of TP like there is no tomorow. I think we go through a four-pack every week.
Speedcat 1000: Yes, I know about those “1000 Sheets” rolls. I am tempted to purchase those single-ply Uber rolls but I vaguely recall they are just a little softer than newsprint. But the idea of a massive roll I don’t have to change that often – that’s nice.
Boutique brand TP? I had no idea there were some with lotions and sechlike. I know tissues come with these add-ins (ugh) but not TP. I am not big into scented stuff (no potpourri, air fresheners, etc) except I do like lavender (but it’s not like you walk into my home and think you’re in Provence or something).
I am honored to have made a lasting impression on your brain stem
“Pumpkin Scott” hahaha! I haven’t seen a TP cover in a long time.
Gregg: Only 1 roll of TP in the house? Yeah, that situation is very nervous-making for a woman!
HMTKSteve: I thought TP covers were “old school” – as in only people who were over 77 would have them. So you’d have the porcelain figure on the toilet tank next to the TP-covered TP.
Actually, your TP usage isn’t bad for 2 women in the house. Well, I am sure you might be swapping it out every 1.5 days when your daughter gets older!
When are you gonna update your MBL avatar?
I think I may use more toilet paper than my wife. I have sort of a thing about cleanliness. Not cleanliness to the extent that if my wife leaves her shoes in the dining room I flip out, just personal cleanliness.
As a housewife, I am the toilet paper procurement department in our home. I also happen to be a frugal housewife. I go to Costco for our non-food item shopping. What I do is wait until they are having a sale on toilet paper, then buy lots. I mean lots. Like 144 double rolls. Right now in our attic there are at least 72 rolls of toilet paper, in addition to the 15 or so in our bathroom. If we ever got under 10 or so rolls I would immediately rush out and buy more, because you just never know.
To my mind, you can NEVER have too many rolls of toilet paper or too many vacuum cleaner bags!!!!! In fact, that basket looks a little sparse to me…
I never did understand that toilet paper roll cover thing…
:-0
I did update it. I turned the generic happy face upside down.
Hey wait I ****did***** leave a comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know if maybe bec. I was on a different computer…???????????
That machine is sort of scary, actually, but in a fascinating way!
the frogster: you go to Costco for non-food items? I thought the food (and toiletries) were where it was AT. Hmm..vitamins are good there, too. And HP printer ink…
Well, I don’t actually have a Costco membership. As a single person without a garage, Costco isn’t currently making a whole lotta sense for me. I also buy TP on sale and usually TP on sale elsewhere beats Costco prices. If Costco had a sale, I don’t blame you, I’d LOAD up as well!
I was actually down to about 4 rolls and it was making me a bit nervous! I was waiting for a sale on my favorite brand of double-rolls and a sale wasn’t happening! It finally happened when I was down to the last level in my supply basket. I got one of those 24-packs. I actually have a a 4-pack that didn’t fit into the basket so I feel very safe now.
Jill: Eek! I know what you mean about vacuum cleaner bags! I like having those, too. Oh, and windshield wiper blades. It’s a pain to go to the auto dealer and I was hoping to pick up some other types at a Kragen’s but they were more expensive (I’d have to get the entire “assembly” instead of just the blades) than just getting the blades at the dealer.
HMTKSteve: aaaah. I hadn’t noticed your slight modification. Very clever!
Jill (part 2): I hadn’t approved/moderated the comment which was why you didn’t see your first one. When I watched the video again I finally noticed that the TP is being cut by scissors!
Yeah I wouldn’t know on the windshield wiper blades…I’ve never actually changed those out. My car’s only seven years old after all…
:-0 :-0 :-0
The TP cover thingy is appropriate for where i live. Pumpkin festival weekend after next.
Uh oh. can’t do what i did last year for this. i stayed inside all weekend and avoided traffic that way. this year, the sharks’ home opener is the same weekend. i think i’ll be incredibly early to make sure i don’t get caught in traffic and miss the start of the game.
the automagic toilet paper dispenser is just wrong. if i saw that in your house, i would be afraid. very afraid. i would classify that as seriously freaky shit. (no pun intended)
I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about anything really useful, like a coffe pot 2000.
Jill: You’ve never changed your wiper blades? Huh. I thought it rained in Houston and I recall your camping trip – didn’t it rain then? Don’t you get streaks when you use them? They dry out you know!
ack: You say the TP cover thing is appropriate where you live. Do you mean in your town or your actual home?
I wouldn’t have the automagic toilet paper dispenser in my home. Way too complicated and probably I’d have to worry about rust and having WD-40 on hand. But I would find it pretty fun to see in someone else’s home. Sure it’s a bit Rube Goldbergish but that’s why I think it’s fun!
Re: TP cover thingy – town. definitely not my home. not my style.
Now, if it were the Evil Pirate Zamboni …
ack: I dunno. Even if it were the Pirate Zamboni (I know or think I know that the Zamboni is an ice-rink cleaner/smoother machine) are you sure you’d want some knitted TP cover thing in your bathroom?
Hmm. I am now curious if I’d date a guy and he had a TP cover in his bathroom. It would all depend I suppose. On if it were tongue in cheek or what all. Or perhaps something sentimental like his mom knitted it. Although if his house was filled with mom’s knitted items…
But I digress…
Ummmm…I have windshield wipers. I have even replaced a pair once in my life…
Yes, we get inane amounts of rain in Houston – I should post one of my rain pictures!!!!!!! It just never occurred to me to replace mine…they must be doing okay I guess!!!!!!
I could go for a knitting covered zamboni in my bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It would have to be one seriously large bathroom though, and I’m not into cleaning big bathrooms…plus, I’m not sure where the pirate thing comes in…
On the dating a guy with covers – I’m thinking it would be sort of like the clothing. It’s my impression that if you’re with a guy long enough, you eventually get to dress him. At least, my brother’s wife chooses all his clothing…although I was never able to get my ex husband out of those stupid khakis all those twelve years…what was my point?
Oh yeah, I think it would depend on how attached he was to the knitted things and whether you had a fair chances of tossing them out with the next trash haul.
Jill (parts 1 and 2): I have replaced my windshield wiper blades hmm, at least 6 times and each time I’m looking at the manual and trying to “orient” my brain with the drawing. I am not so good with spatial relationships that’s for sure. However, I do try to do most small fix-it jobs if only to prove to myself that I can HANDLE stuff and that I may be small and feminine looking but I can handle a rotary sander and strip paint off a car to the bare metal with the best of ‘em.
I am VERY girly when it comes to plumbing. Nuh-uh with plumbing! OOoh, icky! Well, with sewer/drain stuff. I think I could maybe handle changing a faucet.
BUT ANYWAY, I do try to handle the small repair stuff. Plus, I like hardware stores. I was at Home Depot the other day looking for wire to hang a picture and there were these spools of chain and vinyl wrapped wire! Yow! The cable wire looked SO COOL and the hardware that connects them…
But..I have no garage or tool bench and so I got some picture hanging stuff and some stone cleaner and got outta there. Sometimes I get it into my head that making my own desktop fountain would be a fun thing to do. Now you can get such things cheap at the drugstore.
Regarding the zamboni I guess it would match up well with your tractor???
I’ve never dressed a guy after dating him for a while. Hehehee. Well, as in selecting clothes for him. I’ve gone shopping with male friends who want my advice (go figure) but for boyfriends?
I’ve never dated anyone that I wanted to change their style, at least, I can’t recall wanting to change their style. Nor have I dated anyone who wanted to change MY style. Well, the only request I had was for me to buy some jeans! At one point in my life I had no jeans and they were hard to find in my size. My boyfriend’s uniform was jeans and tee shirt, jeans and tee shirts.
Now that you mention your ex…I probably HAVE made suggestions to a boyfriend about what to wear. It’s just been a while and I can’t recall not liking a boyfriend’s style overall.
I do know what you mean about women dressing “their men” – it’s funny but one guy was admiring another guy’s shirt. I had noticed it myself – it was black and embroidered and just very urban-bohemian-hip and matched the guy’s style in general. The guy with the nice shirt said, “Oh, my wife picked it out.” which I was surprised by as the shirt really fit his style so I thought he had picked it.
Khakis for 12 years? Huh! Did he “go crazy” and change from cuffs/no cuffs or pleats/no pleats occasionally? I know, I shouldn’t make fun of a total stranger!
To return to the Pirate Thing – I am not sure. Maybe it’s some type of Role Playing thing. Maybe ack will clue us in. I am sure I could google it but why??
Yes, a Zamboni is one of the ice resurfacing machines. If memory serves, the other is the Olympia. It used to be that the Z was the only option to doing it by hand. (scrape, flood with warm water, lots of manual labor, etc.)
The Evil Pirate Zamboni is one of the Z’s in the “Great Zamboni Races” they do during commercial timeouts sometime during a Sharks home game. The other two Z’s are images of the sponsored ones that actually clean up the ice. It’s this gooy little animated thing, and folks tend to cheer for the EPZ. One halloween they had a costume contest as they had a home game fall on oct. 31. One of the best was a kid in a wheelchair with the EPZ covering. he might have even won, but that was too many years ago to remember for sure.
It seems that someone involved with putting on hockey games thinks we’ll all get up and leave if we’re not entertained every single millisecond we’re in the seating area. So, they do crazy junk during commercial timeouts, play music at deafening levels, etc. Obviously, I think a little differently, and would like to converse with the folks around me without having to yell. I suppose convincing everyone to learn sign language would help with the throat over the years, but i’m not sure i could convince everybody.
Ack: you do think a little differently and I like it! I’m not much into constant input either and your description of having unending “entertainment” sounds, uh, a bit nightmarish.
What you wrote ties in with what I’ve read about how we’re creating a generation/society of people with ADD! Children no longer can “entertain themselves” they need whatever game gadgets (I have no idea what they are) I see them carrying around with them.
People seem to get bored so easily. I’m always glad that I have my imagination!
I just had a braintstorm that might help me make my point to “the powers that be” at hockey games – Mr. Megaphone!
If I just use Mr. Megaphone to have a conversation with the person RIGHT NEXT TO ME they might get the point that the sound is a bit loud.
Though, they did just redo the sound system at the tank. Maybe they’ve improved it. (no breath holding here, but one can hope.) Oh, wait. They improved the video board. No chance they managed to make the sound better at the same time.
Yeah, we do seem to be breeding an ADD society. Beyond all the electronic game crap the kids are carrying around 24×7, look at the bigger kids with their blackberrys and such. Now try taking one away. (Make sure you do it with someone else’s hand just in case they bite though.)
I guess this means movies will eventually have to change their delivery as people won’t be able to sit still long enough to watch an entire movie after a while.
ack: Mr. Megaphone..sounds like THAT MIGHT GET YOUR POINT ACROSS all right!
Ooch, scary though on no one having enough of an attention span to watch an entire movie! However, they will probably add more “virtual” elements to or make it interactive. I mean, there’s reality TV so maybe people will want to be part of a movie.
Ahh, everybody is so busy “experiencing” someone else’s life or playing games, it’s no wonder there are so many people who get depressed once the input and distractions stop. It’s like, “Wake up and smell..the reality.”