Oct 27 2007
Boys Will Be Boys
Have you ever noticed that if a man has a scar on his face, it will be found in one of the following locations?
- Eyebrow
- Outer corner of eyebrow
- Just under the chin
- In the “dent” between the lower lip and the chin
- Outer edges of forehead
- Somewhere close to the lips (the corner of mouth is popular)
If you ask him where he got the scar, he’ll invariably laugh and say something like:
“I wish I could say I got this in a fight but…â€
Followed by something along the lines of:
“I was about 4 years old and not looking where I was going and I ran into the coffee table…”
“I fell out of my high chair and split my chin…”
“I was just a kid and I ran/tripped/fell…â€
The general idea seems to be that little boys run around without looking where they are going.
They are usually looking behind themselves while running headlong away from someone. Which is why they end up smacking the side of their head into the edges of coffee tables, counters, doorways.
Boys also like to try anything with the warning: “Don’t do that! It might put out your eye!”
This only fuels their desire for a BB gun, slingshot, and anything that involves blowing things up or setting something on fire.
Boys will be boys.
Boys will be boys and boys grow up to be men.
I’ve dated a couple of eyebrow scars, a corner-of-lip scar, and 2 just-under-the-chin scars.
Gotta love ‘em. Scars and all.
Guys: Do you have a scar on your face and did you get it when you were a boy?
Gals: Am I right? And if you have a little boy, did he smack himself upside the head?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You have effectively described my four-year-old son, my husband, my father, my brother, four uncles, and at least one grandfather. Imagine that!
Hahaha! You are right about boys. I try not to tell my son why not to do something, because it is incentive to try and ‘make sure’ it will really happy the way mom says it will. They’re driven to prove you wrong, but most often will prove you right.
Hmmm… That sounds like some folk I know. Along with scars on their heads where they flew off their bike. I don’t have any such scars though. Perhaps I was too careful as a child. I do have a great sense of direction though. So that could have come at birth.
Sue: Wow! The men in your family must’ve been running amok as boys! Well, they were typical boys! I am guessing this propensity injuring themselves is gender- based but I’m not sure. Boys are more aggressive and physical from what I’ve seen which may play a part. Girls may be taught not to injure their faces what with beauty being so important so they may be more careful because of that.
UT: Yes, the bike injury scar is another one but usually the scars are not on the face. I have a poor sense of direction. I’m okay finding my way around most buildings but outside? Uh. Especially subways and which exit to take. An uncle was visiting NYC and he said that no matter how he tried to figure it out, he always came out at the wrong exit and had to cross the street! Runs in the family. Now that I think about it, my Dad got lost while driving. I can usually figure out freeway ramps and doing U-Turns. I travel so much that U-Turns…are a big part of my driving. What with my poor sense of direction!
I usually see the eyebrow or chin scar on a man. I’m not sure why little boys are drawn to running headlong into coffee and end tables.
Jared doesn’t have any scars (knock wood), but he definitely spent more time bleeding, gave me more heart attacks, and had two emergency room visits before age four (as opposed to Cassie who made it to age 11 before her first visit). So, I guess you must be right!
Although, I’m pretty sure it was Cassie who smacked herself on the coffee table hard enough to bleed all over the place.
I was a *really* careful child, and I spent my fair share of time lighting fires in the alley, climbing electrical poles and billboards, riding my bike down stairs, and playing with gunpowder. So I’m not sure how some of my more risk taking friends actually made it to adulthood.
My husband has a scar. It is right in the middle of his lower lip.
He got it in a genuine fight, as a teenager. I believe alcohol was involved.
So, there goes your theory.
Jill: glad that Jared doesn’t have any scars! I was a careful kid, very bookish and I think I got my lifetime supply of TV when I was a kid. Lots of Shirley Temple, Fred Astaire, 3 Stooges, Looney Tunes, Sesame Street, Electric Company…too much! When it came to the playground, the swing, that merry-go-round thing and slides. I got my scars in my teens!
You sounded like tom boy! I did learn how to use the stove at 5 years old. I might be misremembering but I recall my mom teaching me how to cook rice on the stove (gas) so I would help with dinner.
Christine: So your husband got a “macho” scar! Wow. Most guys I know got their facial scars as children and the ones that got them as teenagers got them during sports (bicycles were a biggie).
Yes I have a scare on my forehead which was sliced open as a boy by a glass door that I flew through because I wasn’t looking where I was going.
Ooops. I mean scar. So burnt out I can’t type!!!!
Ricardo: Scare, scar…close enough! You probably scared your family – head wounds bleed like crazy!
Hey there Ms Q,
I think there is something missing here – people get the cuts for their daughters properly bandaged so that they don’t scar! I had “incidents ” as a child too – some which required going to the doctor for butterfly stitch tape and I can recall my mom purposely doing stuff so that the booboo would not scar.
Girls would probably get a more similar number of scars during childhood if their parents didn’t immediately treat the wounds (including proper application of bandages/stitches/healing ointments).
Part of this is that girls actually tell people they have been injured – showing the bleeding cut for sympathy and being patient enough to cooperate with parents regarding treatment (ie keeping the wound dry, keeping it covered, etc).
So boys will be boys – as long as boys don’t care or are socialized not to report when they are injured, fail to get proper healthcare or follow treatment regimes, and people don’t care if they get “cool” scars. This is partly the fault of parents and peer pressure.
I personally am not turned off by guys with scars like this, although I’m not a big fan of adrenaline ladden guys with self-destructive hobbies. Got a guy friend that was showing me his dirt-biking injuries last weekend that were horrific – all untreated including large gashes that could have used stitches and anti-biotic creams. Little boys growing up to be just as lackadaisical about their wellness.
I have a big scar on my left arm from a knife fight in the badlands of South Dakota… or I was bit by a dog when 10. Can’t recall which is true
I told my husband this morning that you were impressed with his “macho scar”.
He thought that was interesting. He’d never thought of his scar as something earned in the exercise of manliness
apple: great point on boys getting scars because they tend to “tough it out” instead of getting a wound cleaned up! My mom would carefully wash my “boo boos” and warn me of scarring!
Speedcat: Uh…I am guessing the dog and that’s how you got your nickname…you learned how to be speedy so you wouldn’t get bit again! Although..works for knife fights too.
Christine: Well…my response was a bit tongue-in-cheek.
I don’t think that getting scars in fights is the best way to get scars not that there are any “good” ways! Plus having alcohol involved! My guess is that his scar is a reminder of not to do that again – especially since he doesn’t think of it as macho! Your husband sounds like a cool guy!
I don’t think I was as much of a tom boy as I was left on my own a lot to the influence of other kids…my parents’ best friends’ kids were the type who we’d go over & I’d be like, “Hey, what are you doing?” and he’d say, “Throwing mudballs at cars. Want to help?” Or “I’m filling the bathtub with worms. Grab that bucket and help me out, could’j'ya?” Yes, those are both real examples.
Also true is that the first time I met them they decided it would be a good idea to put glass under the tires of all the neighborhood cars. I went along with it & then hung back when they went inside & removed all the glass. I was maybe four or five.
Cooking – the first time I made dinner for the family I was seven. It was Kraft macaroni & cheese. Now my daughter’s already 12 and doesn’t even know how to make it!
Jill: filling the bathtub with worms? That sounds cool. I liked salamanders and worms as a kid. Lizards and newts and geckos (don’t you have those in Houston?) are very cool as well.
You made dinner at age 7? Wow. I am pretty sure I cooked stove top rice (no rice cooker) on a gas stove at age 5. I didn’t discover Mac ‘n Cheese until my late teens I think – I was Stir Fry gal from age oh, 12-22 when I did most of the cooking. I remember making Rice Krispie treats for the first time. That was cool. I think I ate most of that batch! That’s deadly stuff.
I had wanted to be a chef at one point so at age 15 I made an entire Thanksgiving dinner from scratch! I made the stock, the gravy, the dressing – all from scratch! The gravy was incredible but I didn’t make enough. I have cooked a few turkey dinners since then but my first one was the best one.
Well..I didn’t make the pumpkin pie from scratch. I got the pureed pumpkin and added spices and such and poured that into a ready-made crust. Dang that was a lot of work.
So…you gonna teach your kids to cook? It’s a good skill to have!
I just commented over on Derek’s blog that I also used to babysit at age seven, but only for very short periods of time. Dinner was just mac & cheese Kraft out of the box though. It’s not like I had to grate cheese or anything.
My parents have a picture of me baking a cake from scratch at age 11. I’ve got flour all over! That’s a huge dinner for 15! I never tried a turkey until I was late into my 20s & I’ve seen more than one person over 40 screw up the traditional dead bird!
My kids – haven’t taught them to cook.
I barely cook myself anymore & am usually content to call yogurt and some asperagus dinner. 
Jill: I have to check out Derek’s latest – when I get back home! I forget my first bake-from-scratch cake. I think I was in my early 30s! I did do my first bake-from-scratch apple torte thing around age 15 (again when I wanted to be a chef). I made the crust from scratch (arrgggh) and had a marble rolling pin and board. Crusty-desserts – difficult! It tasted good but more like shortbread instead of flaky. oh, well.
I try not to stress over the turkey these days. It’s not about the cooking, it’s about the company!
Cooking is a good skill to have. I’ve been lucky – most of the men I’ve dated knew how to cook and even liked to! Since I’m OK with cooking, it’s nice to take turns.
When it comes to cooking for your kids, I would think that it’s making them sit at the table and spend time together that counts. My mom used to heat up cans of soup and make sandwiches. Dad did all the “heavy” cooking. Mom was good with the boxed cake mix and cupcakes for parties.
I always thought that “real” moms made things like Rice Krispie Treats. That is, “Leave It To Beaver” or “Brady Bunch” moms. Which aren’t real moms, right? Anyway, I finally made RKT myself around age 30 and thought whooaaaa, these are easy to make and gooood.
I think I ate almost an entire pan that first time. Hmm..maybe not. My boyfriend at the time liked that too. Ah, the metabolism of youth!
You might try making a pan of RKT with your kids – it’s fun and sure they are chock full o’ chemicals but it’s great for bonding and you could have them take them to school to share.
Oh I’m sad for you, Jill. Yogurt and asparagus??
I’d have to agree a lot with Ms. Q about having the quality time with your kids. If the food is good, then that’s a super bonus. But in the grand scheme of things your kids and your family will appreciate (I hope) if you make them share dinner together.
I’ve found that the easiest way to approach things is to get a good cookbook. (I’d heartily recommend http://www.americastestkitchen.com/! They have cool “betcha didn’t know” type of tips.) Plan out the entire week’s meals and what needs to be bought/defrosted/prepared for each day and when. It minimizes the stress from having to think about what to eat RIGHT NOW.
Derek: so…does this mean you’re a good cook? Or that you at least cook?? I’ll have to check out that website! I’m back on the road so…no cooking for a bit!
Ha good cook. That I do not think so. Not at all. But I can follow the directions that other people (who ARE good cooks) give.
Well I gave that website, but I actually have the print copy of the cookbook. So I actually don’t know how good the website is. But they do have a link to their cookbook!
Derek: the website looks good! I can be a good cook – usually I can perfect a recipe by the 3rd try! I do have to follow a recipe, though, at least in the beginning.