Nov 13 2007
Talking With Strangers
As Urban Thought observed, many of us don’t talk with strangers.
If we don’t talk with strangers we see on a regular basis, we certainly won’t go out of our way to talk with someone we likely won’t see again.
Unless you’re trapped with them for several hours.
Trapped. Not moving. Stuck.
Various Trapped-With-Strangers Scenarios:
- Airplane.
- Waiting in line at the post office.
- Waiting in line for the women’s room at any big event.
- Stuck elevator.
- Doctor’s waiting room.
Even then, most people will stay in their own heads. They’ll reel it all in and be a Self-Contained Unit.
Last Friday I was at Sea-Tac. Here’s a photo of the OUTSIDE of the women’s restroom.
Sculptural clouds on coppery tiles – not bad! Sea-Tac does it up nicely, that’s for sure.
I usually head right to my gate but as I headed towards the trains I passed through the dining and shopping area. I generally breeze past these airport malls but I looked at my watch and saw that I had over 2 hours until my flight. The food choices in my terminal weren’t as enticing looking as what I was seeing here so I looked around.
I spotted 2 wine bars. TWO! Washington is definitely my kinda state! Side note: Oregon is nice, too. Known for pinot noir.
I like the looks of one place – low cocktail tables and padded chairs. They offer wine flights – 3 small tastings of wine, which add up to one glass.
I don’t find the food that appealing – I’m sure it’s good but I’m not in the mood for duck confit or antipasti. I just want a salad so I pick one up a the place next-door and return to the wine bar.
I ask the waitress where I could sit and she says “Well…you have outside food so you’ll have to sit in this outer area.”
The outer area extends a bit into the concourse but is protected by a low wooden rail. I end up in a corner right near the rail. I order a flight that features all Washington reds and pull out a book. I briefly consider taking out my laptop but the guy next to me has his out and it all looks so unwieldy. The table isn’t much bigger than his laptop.
My wine flight arrives. Three glasses on a small tray with a guide describing each wine. The guy next to me is moving around. He stops one of the waiters and asks if the waiter would watch his stuff while he goes across the way.
The restrooms are in our line of sight.
The waiter is leaning down and hesitating. I can see that he doesn’t really want the responsibility of keeping an eye on this guy’s laptop, Treo, all this stuff.
I catch the guy’s eye and say, “I’ll watch it for you.”
The guy pauses. I’m firmly ensconced my corner.
I’m a four-foot-ten-and-three-quarter-inch Asian female just under 100 pounds. Totally harmless. There are 3 small glasses of wine in front of me. I’m not going anywhere.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Sure. No problem. Where are you going?” I say.
“Uh…just across over there.” and he points to the restrooms.
“OK.” I say. I have a great deal of respect for restrooms and the need to use them.
He leaves his laptop out but puts away his Treo. I think it’s a Treo; I’m not all up on the latest and greatest phone-PDA-gadgets.
And off he goes…to go.
Speaking of going…this is going on longer than expected.
I’ll be back. Will you watch my stuff?
Not exactly a cliffhanger but to borrow a bit of Ricardo’s style….
Will he be back?
Were any of those glasses of wine any good?
Again with the chatting with lone men at adjacent tables!
The guy was drinking white wine, what is Ms. Q thinking???
Is Ms. Q truly harmless?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Awh, Q, this is a tease! You are not much smaller than I am. I’m 4′11 ( I frequently boast 5′ with shoes on!), but a lot heavier. I call it pudge. hehehe.
I would have loved to have seen that bathroom for myself! Someday!
Sue: I had no idea you were so tall!
Dang! My running shoes add an inch to my uh, “height” and what are you doing calling yourself “pudge” ?!
When you’re small, a few pounds makes a big difference! When I’ve told someone I need to lose 3 pounds they say, “That’s it?” well..if you’re supposed to be around 100 pounds, that’s 3% of your body weight!! I knew a woman who was 6-foot tall and she said she could lose 3 pounds in a couple days. When she did the 3% math she realized that losing weight was proportional!
You look fantastic to me and I still love your “I’m a nut” post. Cute!
I’m small-boned, pancakes have it over me and according to my mom, I gots birthing hips. Sometimes I indulge (it’s the holidays!) and then I get very spiritual…hehehehe. Sometimes I have a “Boodah” rub it for luck! Then I have to run until I’m not chasing it anymore!
That’s what I’m always telling Laurie about the height thing. She says she should be around my same weight, but she’s taller than me.
Waiting in line is one of my FAVORITE places to talk to strangers!!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s absolutely nothing you can do, so you might as well entertain people I always figure.
Funny I have such a close title on a post (talk to strangers).
And very funny on the ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or lack thereof, actually.
Jill: An inch of height makes for extra pounds! I know it depends on the build but bones, sinew, fluids for that extra inch ..they add up! When I read about some 5′4″ woman being 100 pounds, I figure…oooh, skinny! Like rib-thrusting skinny. Like drug-rehab skinny.
I searched your blog and found your “Talk to Strangers” post – I had forgotten about it! My working title had been “Talking To Strangers” and then I thought, I don’t like talking TO people, I like talking WITH people as in we take turns speaking and listening!
I think when you really LIKE people, you want to talk with them. I noticed that I am more willing to say hi to people these days because I just like people in general. I know you tend to like everyone and see the good in them so it makes sense that you like to talk to strangers.
I had to cut the post short as it was getting a bit loooong. You guys have hung around for the multi-parts in the past so what the hey…
The answer to the last posing “Q” question… “no”.
Talking with strangers? Why not! We as a race of people have regressed in this area. I like to shoot the breeze with everyone. If you find yourself in a certain spot, such as your example of “waiting in line for the can”, and there is a dead silence, I find that to be sad and un-nerving. I will be the first to jump in and say what’s on my mind, or what just falls out of my mouth.
I, for one, feel cheated that this story of intrigue was cut short…. J/K
Send a ping to your readers for the epilogue. PING!
Speedcat in the Chattycanline-Hollydale
Speedy: You don’t think I’m harmless? Whyevernot??
I am sure you are never at a loss for words and are one friendly cat! I can see you chatting to all sorts of strangers during all sorts of strange events!
Intrigue? Nah. No intrigue here. I may be Ms. Q, International Woman Of Mystery but intriguing? Not so much.
I found myself walking down the street and this homeless person said hi to me. Not asking me for anything just saying hello. That is more than I can say with most people. Even the person that sits in the office next to my cube doesn’t say hi to me. Crazy as that sounds.
Yeah, you’re right about the whole “Talking with” vs. “Talking to” strangers. If the stranger I was talking TO through my front door had read your post, the kids and I wouldn’t have had to have mini heart attacks! :-0 :-0 :-0
Of course, if I could have remembered to pick up my stupid keys, I wouldn’t have had a non answering stranger at my door (guess someone told HIM not to talk to strangers either!!!!!!!!!!) in the night. Definitely, talk WITH strangers! My post was misnamed!!!
I think you can be intriguing without intrigue, can’t you?
UT: We are all so protective these days. Part of it is we are so bombarded with connections (IM, texting, cell phones, emails, vmails) it’s all we can do to keep up with the e-Communications much less i-Communications! That’d be “INTERPERSONAL” communication! or In-PERSON communication! So we have no energy to say hello to people. Another thing is that we’re afraid to get involved with others. We all need our space.
I think we all long to connect and be embraced in spirit but life has trained us to “protect” ourselves. I do feel that the world is experiencing a shift in consciousness – I mean, why so many books on the Law of Attraction and how your thoughts create your reality? Why do so many books on BUSINESS and creating wealth include a section on charity, giving back, contributing for the good? In my case, I have been seeking “the good” in people and life and well whaddya know, I keep finding it.
Everyone can teach us something. That guy on the street that said hello to you? He could teach something to that person in your office!
Jill: I’m confused!!
Were you locked out of your house and someone was inside who wouldn’t answer the door??
I think you can be intriguing without intrigue. I don’t think finding yourself a bit ridiculous makes for much intrigue. Of course, half of me takes myself WAY to seriously. If I didn’t drink wine, I’d probably implode, like some form of matter-antimatter combo.
I try not to take anything too seriously, but sometimes I fail.
I dropped my keys last night outside my door and a stranger who wouldn’t answer when I said, “Who is it?” knocked on my door to return them. Sorry about the confusion – think I was in a rush…kind of like NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually, I’m usually in a rush these days…can’t wait for Thanksgiving to have a couple of days to recuperate.
Jill: thanks for the clearing up the key issue! Pronouns, objects, I was lost. Funny how someone who wanted to return your own house keys outside your own door wouldn’t do something like hold your keys up and say, HEY! ARE THESE YOURS??
Reminds me of how people will put something on the top of their car (like a purse or coffee mug) and then drive off with it still on top of the car…but not for long.
Although I vaguely recall a commercial where a mug stayed on top of a car an entire commute.
I’m hosting T-Day this year. No spaghetti! No Turkey! Bourbon Chicken, grilled veggies, my mom’s fave “Chinese Sticky Rice” PLUS brown rice probably a Trader Joe pumpkin pie (might make something with frozen berries and dark chocolate, not sure) probably a field-green type salad.
Small group – I only have 4 chairs! Mom, her brother (that would be my uncle) a good friend and possibly my next-door neighbor (who would BHOC – Bring Her Own Chair). I’m her Backup Invite. She mentioned that she wasn’t sure if she had plans or not – she hadn’t received an “Official” invite from a friend. I knew what she meant!
I told her she was welcome to come on in.