Dec 05 2007
“Effective twelve-oh-five your position will be eliminated.”
These are the words my manager said to me early Monday morning.
Today is officially my last day at work.
Yesterday I handed in all the paraphernalia of my job: laptop, cell phone, and ID card.
I’ve been with my company over 11 years. I’ve survived 2 acquisitions and too many “reductions in workforceâ€, “riffs”, “expense relief” and say-it-like-it is, “layoffs” to count.
As much as I expected that it might happen since work has been so slow, it still felt like a “punch in the gut” as one friend aptly put it.
I had a few things to get through that day and held it together pretty well. I figured I was shocked and I’d have some kind of meltdown later.
I ended up bursting into tears while on the phone with one of my closest friends. Do I realize that there are worse things that can happen? I sure do. I thought about all the good in my life and tried to focus on the positive. I thought: I have to be strong, stay positive, this is not a tragedy! I’m not a paycheck away from destitution!
But feeling bad is totally valid and okay – being laid off isn’t fun stuff. Not unless you like nails in the eye. I had to allow myself to not be strong. I have a difficult time with feeling or being weak. I don’t even like writing the word, I mean, sheesh, “Not be strong!”
I sent the word out to my friends and family and wow, the love and support just keeps coming. One friend told me that she had a spare room and I was welcome to stay with her and her family if…it came to that.
When she first told me this I started to say, “Thanks, that is such a generous offer..” but I wasn’t really feeling it because I didn’t think I’d ever have to take her up on it. Then I realized, wow, that is some offer, it really IS generous, she really IS a friend indeed.
Calls and emails have been coming in, some job leads, I’m engulfed in a flood of loving support.
I asked myself this question: What is good in my life?
One definition for wealth is “abundant supply.”
I am pretty damn wealthy.
Lest you think my manager was a jerk or cold, he wasn’t. I didn’t think it was easy for him to call me to tell me that. He could only call me since he lives in another state. He then had to transfer me to someone from Human Resources and I assumed he was limited to informing me of my termination and then getting off the line. He called me later to end things on a more personal note. He told me he hates giving people notice.