You are sooo sooo right… “When you love yourself you’ll find that you have an abundance of love to give the world” … and in doing so, sometimes we give love to the world and some of its inhabitants who feel unworthy of the love you are simply giving – they misunderstand, judge, reject it etc. so when you love yourself and this happens – keep loving!!!

I have heard of people who have abandoned their parents. I don’t blame them at all – those parents sounded very unhealthy. One friend thinks of such people (negative, needy, hateful) as “nuclear reactors” where you don’t want to be around them because they will poison you.

My mom tries to improve herself but I think that her improvements are less about loving herself as trying to be “good” for me. So much of her validation is external – when you’ve been appreciated for your intelligence and beauty and not for who you are…when those fade away, what have you got?

Yes, I strive to not be like my mom – needy and negative. I have slowly seen that I went too far away – I am not that accepting of weakness in myself or others and that’s bad. “Weakness” can be interpreted in any action.

Maybe the lesson we are supposed to learn is not so much to not be like them but to accept them because we have those same traits within us – they are just not expressed.

Speedy! Aaah, it’s always great to have you shining your light on me! I would like to believe that I help my mom.

Sue: I’m glad the post helped out – I know that things have been a bit rough for you.

Sometimes I feel angry at how needy my mom is – I’ve been taking care of her in some form since the age of 5. I love her and want nothing but the best for her but sometimes….I wish I had a mom – not a sister, not a child, not a friend, a mom. She’s had Mom Moments but (sigh) …

When it comes to difficulties and even difficult people, I ask myself, “What am I supposed to learn?”

What I have learned so far is that there is truth to the observation that what we dislike in others is what we dislike in ourselves. It may not seem obvious but I’ve learned that this has proven true for me. I just have to let go of ego to see it.

I have also learned that many of those “nasty mean” people are incredibly wounded emotionally. This doesn’t mean I want to hang around them but it makes me feel more compassionate. If anything, I don’t want to add to the nastiness.

UT: You and I seem to be in synch in some way – at least based on how many times I have written about something that touches on what is going on in your life at that moment.

You can’t change people that is for sure. All you can do is provide the environment for change and perhaps open someone’s mind to the possibility of change.

Self-love isn’t encouraged – it’s considered “selfish.” What I am becoming to believe is that it’s a vicious cycle – we are taught that self-love and appreciation is selfish because most people don’t love themselves so they are looking to be filled from the outside. Our current role models aren’t generally self-affirming and well-adjusted. Happy doesn’t make the front page. Happy doesn’t sell. Happy ain’t sexy.

Empty people keep looking to be filled and since the seem to be the majority , they want to create more “fillers” – more people who fill their needs and they do this by trying to create guilt.

Guilt isn’t the gift that keeps on giving…love is. I see you write about looking for the good. I write about looking for the good and the more of us who see it and show it…the more we will create.