Jan 10 2008
Treat Yourself With Love By Treating Yourself
Recall one of my resolutions:
I resolve to treat myself with love because that is what I deserve.
As someone who is currently between jobs, I have tried to curtail my spending a bit. I’ve never been much on buying stuff (stuffs are Wants, not Needs) but I do enjoy taking my mom out to dinner and not second-guessing my purchases. However, I figure I will cut back on a few things as well as put off some expenses that aren’t really needed right now.
I have collected some unemployment but I wish the unemployment office wasn’t so helpful. I mean they want me to attend a workshop to help me shorten my job search.
“Our records show that you have permanently separated from your job and may benefit from reemployment services.”
I’m thankful for the unemployment checks but seriously; they are not a big incentive to take a vacation. I’ve got a mortgage! Heck, I’ve got two! I’m motivated to find work.
I’m also a tad savvy about how to search for jobs online and I am not quite seeing the benefit of attending a 2-hour workshop that will discuss things like, “Job prospects in your labor market,” “Job search assistant programs,” and “Other job markets using your existing skills.”
Ah, well. I know they are trying to help.
Anyway, I’ve cut back on a few things but it’s not like my lifestyle has dramatically changed. I’m just more…cautious with spending. One thing I did stop buying were flowers. For a few months I was buying a small bouquet of flowers for my bathroom. At $4.99 a bunch, these bouquets would give me a week or more of pleasure. The other day I was at the market and I looked at all the beautiful bouquets.
I’ve stopped taking my mom out to dinner. I’ve reduced my red wine consumption. I didn’t buy any Christmas gifts.
I’ve begun to feel just a little deprived. I looked at all the bright flowers and thought…I deserve a bouquet. I deserve a treat. I deserve a bit of beauty in my life. I decided to treat myself.
When you go on a diet they recommend that you treat yourself to a small portion of your favorite fattening foods so you don’t feel deprived.
Whatever you do, don’t deprive yourself of pleasure in life. There is always some treat you can afford to give yourself. Some of the most soul-restorative things are free. If you’re always feeling busy and overwhelmed, try taking a day off on the weekend. Don’t do anything; don’t try to get things done. Give yourself a break.
Upgrade on a small scale – whatever you usually buy; get a nicer version of it. Indulge…just a little bit.
I’ve heard that strict diets generally fail because people can’t stick with them. Life loses quite a bit of appeal when there is no joy in it.
Treat yourself with love by treating yourself to something that gives you joy.
You deserve it.
Dedications:
The first photo is dedicated to Speedy. He’s six-foot-four-inches of Bearded Goodness and one of the nicest bloggers around. He’s also been fixated on my bathroom and demanding more photos. Now he knows what’s on my bathroom counters.
The second photo, a close-up of a hot pink gerber daisy, is for Sue. I think it suits her sunny and sweet nature.
The third photo, a close-up of the entire bouquet, is for Christine who is beautiful in so many ways.
This post is dedicated to Urban Thought. I love how his blog, and therefore himself, has evolved. May he keep on keeping on.
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I LOVE MY PICTURE! In fact, I was loving my picture and grooving on everything you said, even before you said it was For ME! Wooo! Thanks!
I have been thinking along the same lines. I have been feeling like I have no time for Trivial Things. I need to be Productive All the Time. And, really, that is OK most of the time. I am a worker bee. But it can be depressing, if you don’t ever catch a break. Yesterday, I spent about half an hour browsing in a store. It was actually fun. I think I need to sneak a half hour for futzing around, once in a while, to keep my head on straight.
Christine: I am glad you love your photo! WHEEEE and WOOO right back! I have had the feeling that you have been super busy and it’s funny I had started to suggest taking as little as 20-30 minutes of “downtime” or “ME TIME” every day doing something like walking around or window shopping.
You deserve a break each day, some Christine time. It’s actually recommended in the book, “The Power Of Full Engagement” – life is balance and you need some time to restore your soul or you start to feel drained.
I’ve heard the same thing about making sure to allow yourself some pleasure when dieting. In fact, I’ve heard it said that every week, give yourself 1 day where you don’t follow the rules of your diet. I guess it seems a little like binging, but it’s probably pretty true that it allows for some kind of release from the stress of maintaining a more rigorous lifestyle.
The state unemployment agencies have come a long way. At one time they would send you out to places that were hiring. They’ve now resorted to giving workshops and seminars. I know a few people who have had to go through attending workshops. I believe this is a way of keeping some people focused instead of having them sit on their buns.
Keeping fresh flowers in the home is great. I’ve never been the one for flowers (I’m more of a plant guy myself) but when others get them I cannot help but smile at their beauty.
There is a young lady in my office that was washing the stems of her flowers in the pantry a few months ago. I asked her who got her flowers and she stated that she purchased it for herself. It was so beautiful the way she said it and the thoughts following the revelation.
I find it amazing and wonderful that the presence of flowers can make a difference to ones day and I see why you do that for yourself. Cutting that out of your life, even for just a little while, is a big sacrifice I hope you never have to think about doing again.
Thank you for the dedication. You’ve made my day. My eyes are a little watery now.
Ok, because of other parts that I left out of my life spackle post today – (for instance my bank card number getting stolen!) I have now tried to post a comment on this post FOUR TIMES and had the life spackle get in the way each and every time. (There has to be a real way to spell “spackle”, but I can’t figure it out.)
ANYWAY…what was I going to say those first four times? Something about how it had never occurred to me to buy *myself* flowers I’m sure…but it is a really nice idea. And these are very pretty!!!!!!!!!!!
*gasp* A flower for me!? WOW! *BIG BIG SMILE*
You are wonderful! That is amazing!
*and here I am rendered speechless.. almost*
Thank you so much, it is beautiful!
Oh.. neat, when I hovered over it there was a little note! That’s fantabulous!
Yes, I had to scale down a bit myself when I was out of work. I felt VERY deprived as I never really treated myself prior to that anyway. The good thing is that it taught me how to stretch a dollar and live more on less. Difficult but not impossible.
MsQ!!!!
You have one neat and classy bathroom. I love that you bought flowers for the counter top – a classy touch. I wonder which hand cream is the best? (there’s a segue) … I think the silver one is hypo-allegenic, so I vote for it. The pictures have a flair of there own, and I wonder how you keep the tooth paste off of them! My counter is not quite as tidy, and littered with shaving cream. Because I do not shave, it just keeps mutiplying on me.
As usual, I agree with so much of what you’ve set forth here. Sometimes getting (or doing) something nice for yourself is just the little extra something in a day to bring a happy heart nudge. The flowers are beautiful, and I can imagine being very fragrant.
My splurges are centered around activities. Maybe an extra nine holes of golf, a day of “hooky”, or a fine cigar. Cigars are by no means a monetary bargain, but I really love to relax with a primo once in a while. I feel like what I do during the week is worthwhile, and enjoy the serenity this brings after the dust settles, and I can “sit back”.
I have to admit when you use the term “bearded goodness” a smile comes to my face. I take that as a kind comment, and that’s a wonderful thing to find on a friends blog. You’re the best MsQ.
This post is bursting with a positive energy. You have this unique way of so eloquently putting thoughts into words. I think that’s pretty special
Eric “Minnesota” Hollydale
Derek: It’s good to have some “time off” from whatever you HAVE to do. Just the thought of having to do something and never taking a break – stress!
UT: I heard that things have tightened up with my local unemployment agency. Before you’d just call in. Now you have to attend workshops and show up to appointments. I heard that in the past, people WERE basking on the beach. I’ve also heard that the agency was taken to court by someone who was making some 6-figure income in a highly specialized field and she was told to get training at something like secretarial or personal assistant work. The suit was something about the fact that the job training did not use her existing skills and the jobs she could get did not pay enough. It seems the agency rep said something like, “Any job was better than nothing.” The person who told me said that the agency lost the suit.
Fresh flowers do add something to an area. A friend of mine keeps flowers in his office. Just a couple of blooms. Having fresh flowers also says something about you. Like that woman at your office – she was telling the world how much she values herself. I’m very glad that I bought the bouquet and I do smile whenever I see them. It’s also nice just knowing they are in my home, waiting to be seen.
I was inspired to make dedications and I’m glad it made what sounds like everyone’s day! I have been reaching out more here and in my personal life and it’s amazing how much love and goodness I receive and find every day. I would not have made a dedication a year ago; I was too reserved.
I also say I love you a lot more and guess what? People like hearing it! “Tell me again!” I hear. It’s a lot of fun.
Jill: You had your bank card number stolen? Yikes! I hope that everything sorts out OK. I think “spackle” is spelled correctly and are you referring to the white paste used to fill holes in the wall?
I’m surprised you never thought about buying flowers for yourself but maybe no one around you does it, too. I rarely purchased flowers for myself but that was because I was always traveling. Work was pretty slow last year so I stayed home a lot and after my Summer Soulsearch (nail-in-the-eye-fun) I thought flowers would be nice.
Sue: You’re welcome and I’m glad you noticed the little “hover-note” I left you. I figured you would since you once commented on something that was only in the hover note. I call it the hover note since you have to hover the mouse – I am sure there is some actual name for it but….I left one for Christine as well (hint-hint).
Ricardo: Ouch! Sounds like you have to treat yourself more. I’m like you in that I look for ways to save money but sometimes it’s nice not to HAVE to go the bargain-hunting route.
Speedy!!! (extra exclamation) The “silver one” is hypoallergenic but it’s facial cleanser. That platter of stuff contains facial cleanser, contact lenses stuff, 2 types of body lotion (one with sunscreen, one that smells good), lavender body oil and some SPF 45 sunscreen. And uh, deodorant.
I don’t get toothpaste on stuff. However, it does depend on your toothbrush. Some styles seem perfectly suited to producing toothpaste speckles on the mirror and surrounding area.
I’m glad you splurge! Prior to my buying flowers I splurged on nicer bottles of wine or dinners out with friends. Flowers seem more indulgent and yet the aren’t all that expensive. As a former florist, I know how to extend the life of cut flowers!
“Bearded Goodness” IS a compliment! That’s how I think of you – chock full o’ goodness!
Thank you for YOUR kind words!
My dad usually gets me flowers for mother’s day and I love it! But really I just never thought of buying my own.
Yeah, someone stole my bank card to use for buying one of those cricket phones and also for making a call from jail in Dallas. I was like, “I don’t KNOW ANYONE in jail in Dallas! I only know people in jail in Houston!”
KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kidding that I know people in jail in Houston that is…I mean I know people who have BEEN to jail in Houston but…okay…anyway only partially kidding ’cause my bank card number really WAS used to place calls to or from the Dallas jail! :-0
Jill: That’s sweet your dad buys your flowers for mothers’ day!
That is so weird that someone stole your bank card to make phone calls. I once had my credit card number stolen but I still had my cards. I am not sure how they got it as I shred everything and receipts usually have the numbers exed out. It may have been an employee somewhere.
My credit card company called me – the person had “tested” the card by charging something like $1.97 (odd number) at some drug store and then they attempted to purchase 6 Southwest airline tickets.
I wasn’t charged for anything but it was so weird. I’m glad my card’s fraud department were alerted!