QMusings

So here I am making a mandatory appearance at some workshop so I can continue to receive my unemployment checks.

I had a list of 4 workshops to choose from and I had selected the shortest one, the “Job Club.”

Correction: The Job Club Orientation.

The Job Club was a professional network you joined with the idea that, “Individuals with training and backgrounds in a wide range of fields come together to sharpen and update their job search skills by sharing their expertise and experience.”

The Job Club shares space with the unemployment office. I sign in and see a woman from last week’s workshop. More people sign in. All women.

The women are my age and older. We’re in this small conference room with tables lined down the middle and edged with sagging orange upholstered wooden chairs.

The workshop leaders are a study in contrasts.

On our left: Cynical sweatshirt-wearing mid-40s man that alternately cricks his neck and rolls his eyes. His hair is a peppery bristle. Dark and sharp.

On our right: Soft-spoken woman with long blonde hair, navy skirt and crinkly pink blouse. Soft and faded. Maybe mid-50s. She makes me think of rainbows and butterflies.

Sweatshirt is seated, head down most of the time, arms resting on the table.

Rainbow is standing and fussily squaring the papers in front of her.

The 2 leaders match form with function – the woman regularly drifts off on a tangent. She tells heartwarming success stories and wants everyone to be nice to each other. She advises us to “Never apologize for who we are. We are just fine as we are.”

Cynical Sweatshirt rolls his eyes and makes “moving right along” motions with his hand when Rainbow and Butterflies tells us of yet another “delightful person” who is so “wonderfully helpful.”

Rainbow is having none of this and firmly tells Sweatshirt that she has things under control and on time.

Correction: Steel Butterfly.

Rainbow tells us that in order to join the Job Club we have to attend 4 workshops. I am wondering how many more nails can fit into my eye before I go blind with all the fun I’m having at these workshops.

Sweatshirt stops rolling his eyes and raises his hand palm out towards us to stop any questions. He says, “For those of you who signed up for this ORIENTATION in order to continue receiving unemployment, you DO NOT have to sign up for more workshops.” Joining the Job Club was optional.

I hear a few sighs of relief.

Rainbow gently flips through the stapled pages of our Orientation Package and tells us what a supportive and wonderful environment the Job Club provides and what wonderful people are involved.

Sweatshirt finally stands and tells us that our governor plans to cut the state unemployment budget BY FIFTY PERCENT. “We’re really hurtin’ here guys. We are running out of PAPER.”

He informs us that the Job Club is separate from the services that the Unemployment Office provides and only professionals can join. Professionals are people with degrees or specialized skills. He tells us that day laborers and other unskilled people cannot join.

Rainbow gently interjects that the Job Club provides workshops on interviewing, how to write cover letters and resumes – they even have guest speakers!

I find the Job Club Orientation very disorienting between Rainbow’s skipping through the meadow and Sweatshirt’s hacking through the jungle.

The Job Club seems to provide a lot of great services along with the opportunity to network. In fact, I watch the women in the room exchange tips and ideas with each other. I see that there were a few women like myself who can’t see how the club is going to help them. For a few of us, attending Yet Another Workshop in order to continue receiving unemployment is what they are here for.

Rainbow and Sweatshirt are nice and helpful in their own way.

I never want to see them again.

Correction: I never want to see them again AT A WORKSHOP.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Trackback URI | Comments RSS