Nov 25 2008
Like Everyone Else
I like compliments.
What I don’t like are compliments at the expense of others.
I was told, “You’re not boring like everyone else.”
It made me take another look at the person giving me the compliment.
So…I’m not boring. Unlike everyone else.
Boring.
Uninteresting.
Not worth paying attention to.
Boring.
Things that have been called boring:
- History
- Math
- Paint drying
- Geography
- Assorted places
- Assorted celebrities
- Dirt
- Cement
For any one thing that is deemed boring, someone else out there finds it fascinating.
I’m not so sure about paint drying but there is probably some chemist out there who studies the drying times of paint to make better or faster drying paint and maybe knows which colors dry faster than others.
So what is boring, exactly?
Boring is in the eyes of the bored.
I’m lucky – I don’t bore easily. Waiting in line, stuck in traffic, not bored. OK, so I do find repetitive tasks like data entry boring. But people? I usually don’t find people boring.
What kind of compliment gives to you and takes away from others?
It’s the kind of compliment that makes we wince.
“You’re not boring like everyone else.”
I’ve probably made the same type of compliment myself. In fact, I’m sure I have.
But I hope I’ve outgrown that habit.
I feel that when you give someone a compliment and add “like/unlike everyone else” what you’re really saying is that you don’t like everyone else.
For anyone who’s ever called someone “boring as rocks” hasn’t met my friends Spot and Rusty.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I have received compliments at the expense of others and the others weren’t very admirable folk so I didn’t mind it but I see where you’re coming from. And yes, one persons boring is another persons excitement.
I find those type of add ons to be considered ‘thoughts said out loud.’ It’s the way that you think about the situation but people don’t need to know the thought process. If that makes any sense. (probably only makes sense in my head)
Ricardo: Hm. I see what you mean. I have had the type of compliment that amounts to, “Wow, you’re the only sane one in this nuthouse” and I admit, I’m okay with that! But when it’s this exclusive type of compliment and has this, “We’re the only cool/smart people here amongst all the idiots” sneer to it. Blech.
UT: Yes you did make sense. A lotta sense. Or maybe it’s our “we get each other” thing going on!
My personal, all-time favorite, spoken to me by my new boyfriend when he found out I was half Italian:
“Oh! I always thought Italian women were really beautiful, and really stupid. You’re nothing like that!”
So, yeah, managed to compliment AND insult both me AND an entire nation. Simultaneously. It was breathtaking.
Yeah, I married him.
I never pay attention to personal opinions about what is boring. I like to make my own judgements.
That was a backwards compliment…however, you are NOT boring and that IS a good thing
Christine: Wow. Great story! Gives me hope that some awkward compliment might just be that – awkward and could even lead to marriage. Your husband-to-be really gave you a doozy of one!
marsha: Good habit to have. Boring is very subjective!
meleah: It’s funny this whole not being boring thing – I’m sure I’m pretty boring to someone out there. I don’t have a lot of drama in my life, I save money, pay taxes, nice to children and dogs, heck, even pay my bills on time.
But I admit – I’m glad not be thought of as boring!
Boring is sort of a “pet peeve” of mine. I hate it when kids say something is boring because for one thing, if they’ve already closed off their minds to something, of course they’re not going to enjoy themselves. And for the other, it lets them off the hook as far as responsibility to themselves to learn something/enjoy something/get creative. I have one little boy who always says this certain class is boring. He tells me every week. And I adore this child, but his comment annoys me every single week. And I just say, “Well, maybe you’ll enjoy it this time.”
I shouldn’t really admit to this, but sometimes used to tell my own kids, “Only stupid people get bored.” I dunno, I heard it once and while I don’t think it’s exactly true, my point was that they needed to be smart enough to figure out their own fun every now and again. I mean, how creative a person can you actually hope to become if as a child someone’s always providing you with something exciting to do? It was my JOB as a PARENT to make sure they were good and bored every now and then, dag nab it!
As for people, with the exception of my ex-husband, I don’t think there are boring people in this world. KIDDING! But only sort of. I think there are people with whom you have to delve a little deeper to discover their particular passions and there are people who have cut themselves off from their passions to a certain extent and people whose passions might not match yours and might not excite you. But I think every person, if you get to know them well enough, is an interesting person. And if you think they’re boring, there’s just stuff about them you don’t know (yet).
Jill: wow!!! What a great comment!! If ever I had kids (doubtful barring Supreme Intervention) and somehow there was no one to take care of ‘em, I’d want you to raise ‘em! You must be an incredible teacher.
“I mean, how creative a person can you actually hope to become if as a child someone’s always providing you with something exciting to do?”
I’m not sure either about only stupid people get bored although I think I’ve heard the same thing. Actually, I am sure that it’s not true as my mom gets bored and she’s not stupid – she “just” has ADHD! I love your thought about how creative can you hope to become as if this is something important to nurture in your life. Not everyone thinks that creativity is important! It’s more than just “art”, creativity is expansive thinking, free thinking – if you’re told how to think or constrained in your thinking…there won’t be any new ideas.
Wowwowowwow on your thoughts about boring people: “there are people who have cut themselves off from their passions to a certain extent and people whose passions might not match yours and might not excite you”
I hadn’t thought about people who have cut themselves off from their passions and that is how they become “boring” – I kinda thought of people as maybe “unexciting” but hadn’t seen it from another perpective, that they had cut themselves off. It’s a bit sad the way you put it.
Speaking about people whose passions may not match mine – I can see being bored around someone who is oh, PASSIONATE about Prada. I may not be bored by the person but the subject. Usually passionate people aren’t boring though. I spoke to one guy on a plane ride and he knew all about cement or concrete. I found it inneresting. He wasn’t passionate about it but it was his specialized knowledge.
Regarding your ex-husband. Well…you guys weren’t a match is all! I mean a TV lover and a book lover?
Hey THANKS Ms.Q!!!! I never, ever had *anyone* offer me to raise their imaginary children after their imaginary untimely death!!!!!! No seriously though thanks, that was so nice!
It’s funny, I never thought about an association between ADD and boredom. I really just thought that every little thing seemed as interesting as the next & thus worth interrupting the current activity for. Sort of an inability to filter/prioritize – “I didn’t finish doing the dishes because while I was washing out a glass I noticed that my dish cloth was dirty but when I went to get a fresh one I noticed that I needed to do laundry but then I never finished the laundry because I noticed that a button was missing off a shirt I was going to throw in the washer but then when I went to get a needle to sew on the button I figured I had been meaning to use some of the pins in the sewing kit to hang up some postcards and so then…” But maybe that’s just normal life & not ADD.
It also just never would have occured to me that creativity might NOT be something important to nurture in your life!! But then I supose that explains some of the blank looks I’ve gotten from parents on occasion. :-0
Jill: You are such a great mom – I see you protect your children but also allow them to take some chances, make mistakes – makes for healthy well-adjusted adults!
I can imagine the blank looks. There are parents (and people) who don’t consider “play” and “art” productive – activities and learning must have a point or a goal. I’ve been reading “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. She has this 12-week program – a spiritual approach to regaining your creativity. It has a lot of great exercises.
I’ll have to take a look at that book. Regaining creativity sounds interesting…
Y’know I was hoping for at least “muddling through”, but healthy well-adjusted would be great!
I changed my mind about the whole “what ADD might be like” thing I typed in up there. I think that’s way too logical a stream. I think it’s maybe more like, “I’m almost done making a sandwich. I think I’ll go put on some lotion. No! I must do one thing at a time! FEET! I ORDER YOU TO STAY HERE and until I FINISH making the sandwich!! Wait, how did I end up in the garage looking for a flashlight with the sandwich half made on the counter? Did I ever put on any lotion?” Or something like that.
Jill: interesting exercises in there and it definitely has a spiritual approach with some psychology thrown in. One exercise is something like, “Name 5 careers/lives you’d like to live..don’t overthink this..”
For me: Torch singer, travel writer (Bill Bryson type), dancer, vintner, successful corporate leader. I admit to thinking about it!
I don’t have ADD but I do get sidetracked in my tasks so I’ll be washing dishes and then remember -oh! gotta pay this bill! and I wash up to a certain point, pay the bill and MAYbe get back to the dishes but may get sidetracked to something else. Lately I’ve been trying to just do one task at a time to completion. My job has me juggling “multiple tracks” of activities which it not my preferred way of doing things and the constant jumping around has caused me to do the same thing at home!
Well four totally without thinking at all is so easy – when I was little I wanted to grow up to be either a gypsy, a cowgirl, a beach bum, a teacher or a truck driver. But since I already did the teacher, I only have four.
Jill: You’re more creative than I – I had to think about the lives a bit, nothing much (except torch singer) popped into my head right away. Being a writer has always been there but now that I am..
I can see you doing all of those things, actually!
Now I kinda think it would be cool to be a marathon runner – that’s actually doable. But as a life..hmm..”wrangler” came to mind kinda like cowgirl I guess but I’m allergic to horses and probably cows!
Ah! I remember something I’ve wanted to do: dog training! Yeah, all that service dog stuff. Marine biologist..mud wrestler…trapeze artist…it’d be cool to be really athletic/agile.
Songwriter.