Jan 11 2009
In the Beginning
As we all enter the new year in earnest, I’ve been thinking about beginnings.
For anything we hope to do or become, we have to start somewhere.
And we start…at the beginning.
At some point in my life I became afraid of starting anything new.
I became afraid. I was afraid of making mistakes. Of being hurt. Of looking ridiculous.
Being afraid is not a way to live. Life is about living and living is about learning and learning…
They say that if you stop learning, your brain atrophies. Or something like that. Anyway, I’ve read that you should never stop learning as learning keeps you young – or at least, mentally agile as you age.
All my life I’ve worked on letting go of various fears I’ve had.
I’ve been afraid of:
- Public speaking
- Driving
- Math
- Physics
- Blood tests
- Asking a boy out (rejection!)
- Getting lost
- Sounding stupid
I can’t say I’m all that enthused about getting lost or sounding stupid. I’m not exactly happy about any sharp pointy objects aiming for my delicate veins but I’m glad that these fears haven’t stopped me from living.
A few of these fears were paralyzing.
If I’d never learned how to drive…I can’t even imagine what my life would have been like.
I’m still working on a big one – the fear of making mistakes. The fear of making mistakes made me very uncomfortable with trying anything new. But you’re bound to make mistakes when you try something new.
I’ve become more comfortable as well as more forgiving of myself these days.
I’ve had an interesting side effect of letting go of my fear of making mistakes.
I have more fun.
Yup. Who wudda thunk it. Making mistakes and looking stupid can actually be fun in certain circumstances.
I’ve also started to become excited about trying new things.
Life is about living and we all have to start somewhere.
So let’s start at the beginning, with the heart and mind of a curious child.
It’ll be fun.
Shoshin, is a concept in Zen Buddhism meaning Beginner’s Mind. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would. The term is especially used in the study of Zen Buddhism and Japanese martial arts
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We’re all afraid of mistakes. We all worry what if the damage done is irreversible or damning. I think as we become older this fear grows as well. We take less risks than we should. Risk = failure in our minds as we get older. Remember when risk was fun? Why does this happen? Good thoughts to ponder here Ms.Q.
Ricardo: Yep, the older we get the fewer risks we’re willing to take. Many times this makes sense – we have a greater idea of the repercussions or we have dependents that may be affected by our risks – it’s not just us metaphorically jumping off a cliff!
I remember learning that saying, I think it was Henry Ford who said it:Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.
I never for got it and I tell people that everyday. I know my mom pulls out the SAT book for a refresher every now and again. It is often the reason why a lot of people go back to school.
I for one like to try new things all the time. I don’t have a fear of being lost. I think it is more of a fear for me if someone cannot find me, well certain people.
But I hear you on not letting that paralyze you. Live life to the fullest.
The fear of making mistakes holds me back from taking chances. And Ive missed out on a lot of things in life because of FEAR.
I’ve practically been afraid of drawing breath, of even putting one foot in front of the other to walk into work. I’ve been afraid of all those things.
Except public speaking. That one never bothered me. I’m afraid of Christmas parties though. Semi-private speaking scares me.
I used to have an awful fear of making mistakes/being wrong. But now a days I’m more like, “Yep. I was wrong/made a mistake. That’s me – full of often right, occasionally way off base information, not to mention a strong opinion or two that I can’t seem to back up.” I just wish I had gotten this way when my daughter was a lot younger so she wouldn’t take after me that way. She takes after that perfectionist side of me that I’ve tried so hard to shed.
That’s an interesting idea, shoshin. And I’m glad you’re having more fun!
UT: That’s cool that you mom takes out the SAT book every so often. Learning new things does keep you young and I think one reason is because it keeps you excited about life. When you’re a kid, life is usually fascinating, so many new things to discover. I never want to become jaded.
Meleah: I have also missed out on things because of fear! But I’m trying to learn from these lessons. I usually ask myself, “What the worse that can happen?” and now I am thinking that a better question is, “What is the BEST that can happen?”
Jill: I remember your mentioning that you were fearful of making mistakes and this prevented you from voicing your opinions. Then I saw how you gained more confidence in your blog and you didn’t seem fearful at all about making “mistakes” or being totally correct in your writing..and your writing kinda shot off! It has been fun to see the progression.