QMusings

Why the “Ms. Q” …

Despite the obvious fact that I am writing in a forum for all to see, I have a certain level of paranoia with respect to my personal information. So, Ms. Q it is.

Questioning, Quirky, a total Quack … like life, the Q is up for interpretation.

Why …

I was quite resistant to blogging, either reading them or writing one. I thought blogging a rather lonely way to connect to others, as well as indicative of how little people wanted to focus on their own lives. Why else the interest in reality shows? Were people’s lives so empty or uninspired that they needed someone else’s life to fill up the space?

Finding My Inspiration …

Contemplate turning 41. All of your basic needs have been met. You have a job, a car, a home. You’re in excellent health and will probably live to the age of 80. What are you thinking? If the thought of 39 more years of life fills you with an empty, formless despair, then you are not in a good place. This is where I was half a year ago. Life was just OK. Life was nothing to complain about. I thought I had the blahs, when all the time I had the blues.

Then I began searching for more meaning in my own life. I have always felt that life, or the universe, has guided me. Things unfold for me the way they should. When I’ve gone through difficult times, they have led me to a place, emotionally or even physically, where I needed to be. When I needed guidance, I’ve met people who showed me the way. Because of this, I have had a “this was meant to be” view of life as well as a deep sense of gratitude for all that I have.

But there I was, on my pinnacle of achievement, looking at the view, apathetic and uninspired. And once again, someone came along and told me what I needed to hear. When this happens, I enter into what I call my “growth spurts” and the universe flashes all sorts of neon signs at me. I kept seeing Wayne Dyer’s book, “The Power Of Intention” at airport bookstores. Then unrelated books from fiction to finance mentioned “manifesting your destiny”, “the power of positive thinking” and “creating your universe.”

I read “The Power Of Intention” and was inspired. What is written and described there felt true. I had this sense of “This is what I need to do. Now I am ready.” I wasn’t ready before - I was too busy climbing my pinnacle and getting nowhere.

Open and Unresisting …

As I began meditating (imagine someone who thinks and overthinks as much as I do attempting this) and consciously expecting to be shown where I needed to go, synchronicities occurred and I began to see that blogs were so much more than online journals describing what someone had for breakfast or angry rants. I encountered stevepavlina.com - a fantastic blog on personal development and thought, this is what I want to do: write. All my life I have wanted to write, but I could never find my voice. I would start short stories and lose interest. I just was not passionate about fictional writing. My outlet for writing was emails and I would write long conversational emails, my writing almost effortless. I can see now that I was inspired during those times. In fact, I was encouraged by my friends to blog.

Now it has all come together for me - I have finally acknowledged my passion for writing and there is a forum for it. I am open to the possibilities.

Above all, I am grateful.

I find joy in writing. I hope that you find joy as well.

- Ms. Q