QMusings

Ms. Q is trying very hard not to rant.

Recall my last rant whereby I concluded that the appropriate beverage to accompany such an activity was a white zinfandel. It was not an enjoyable experience.

I like calm. I like peaceful.

I like my Zins red.

Ranting BAD, Research GOOD.

Research expands my knowledge.

Research also employs a methodology that I devised that encourages the thoughtful pursuit of knowledge.

If you would like to familiarize yourself with my methodology, refer to Rear View.

Anyway, I choose not to rant as ranting is no fun for either Ms. Q or anyone in the vicinity.

I choose instead to be Mighty Peeved.

Peeve:inflected Form(s): peeved; to make peevish or resentful: ANNOY
synonym see IRRITATE

Peeved makes me think of Chihuahuas. Hmm. Scratch that. I’m small with dark brown eyes and have occasionally been called “cute.” Any resemblance to a Chihuahua is purely coincidental.

But moving along, Mighty Peeved makes me think of say, an Angry Hamster.

With an Angry Hamster, you respect its bite but you can’t take it all that seriously.

What is the appropriate beverage to sip when peeved, especially when mightily?

I believe a Barbera does quite nicely.

“Barbera vines are popular with growers, vigorous and reliably productive in a wide variety of soils and also highly resistant to fungal diseases. The fruit is naturally high in acid, which it retains very well, even in hot climates. Barbera grapes are also high in anthocyanins, but only low to moderate in tannin content. The resulting wines are deep, purplish black in their youth, but tend to early browning and lightening as they age.”

While it’s nice that the grapes are resistant to fungal diseases, I selected the wine purely because of the name. Barbera sounds like barbarous which makes me think of my recent “interaction” with an airline’s Customer Service Line.

Such is the way my mine works. Best not to peek at its innards too often.

Barbarous: Function: adjective.
1 a : UNCIVILIZED b : lacking culture or refinement : PHILISTINE
2 : characterized by the occurrence of barbarisms
3 : mercilessly harsh or cruel

I generally avoid calling such lines if there is an online way to get support. Customer Service Lines are usually a good way to become Peeved. If you want to become Mighty Peeved, try calling an Automated Voice Recognition Customer Service Line (AVRCSL).

I won’t drag you through the same torture, but here’s an excerpt. The AVRCSL had a pleasant female voice.

AVRCSL: Please state your account number

Ms. Q : One-two-five-three-three-seven.

AVRCSL: I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that. Would you repeat that?

Ms. Q : One… Two… Five… Three… Three… Seven.

AVRCSL: I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that. Would you try again?

Ms. Q :One… Two… Five… Three… Three… Seven.

AVRCSL: I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that. Please try using the keypad to enter in your account number.

I have no idea why this carrier is using Voice Recognition, especially when asking for my account number.

I have to go through variations on this theme, the highpoint being when I’m asked to state my confirmation number which contains letters AND numbers. I am told that for letters, to recount these using “simple names” as in “M as in Mary.”

I don’t have a foreign accent. I don’t have any of the more obvious regional accents (Boston, Southern, Minnesotan). People may not “get” me, but they do understand what I am saying.

AVRCSL: I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that. I will connect you to a customer service representative.

Ms. Q: Oooh. Thank you. Now can I take that nail out of my eye.

In case you were wondering, I was NOT SLURRING my words. Yes, dealing with the support line system required almost an entire glass of Barbera but I was NOT gulping. I sip. I savor. I do not gulp wine.

The AVRCSL had me sipping and savoring until almost an entire glass of Barbera was gone.

Now, even if I had been slurring, this would have been a win-win situation as I wanted to be connected to a person - if slurring sped up the process, all the better.

There is a movement to improve Customer Service Phone Systems: The gethuman project.

“The gethuman project is a consumer movement to improve the quality of phone support in the US. The project has developed the gethuman standard, a specification for how customer service phone systems and support should work.”

The gethuman standard list 10 criteria a phone support system should have.

A couple I like:

1. The caller must always be able to dial 0 or to say “operator” to queue for a human.

2. Speech applications should provide touch-tone fall-back.

The gethuman website also includes a handy list of company Customer Service Lines, their ratings (grades A-F with F being the worse), and how to bypass the phone system in order to Get a Human.

So the next time you need to deal with and IVR (Interactive Voice Response) system, instead of getting angry or even Mighty Peeved, gethuman to STAY human!

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