Mar 29 2007
Ms. Q Versus Blondie
I know this one woman.
We see each other maybe twice a year at some neighborhood party. She’s a year older than I, not much taller, with a swing of blonde hair. She’s always dressed in some tight, vaguely athletic looking clothing.
She has heavy lidded eyes and her big trick is to look down at the drink she’s holding - the bottle of beer or tumbler of vodka - and then slowly lift her eyes up while saying something shocking.
This shocking announcement is followed by a small smile and her eyes contain a knowing malice. She wants to make you feel uncomfortable and off-balance.
Let’s just say that she does not bring out the best in Ms. Q.
I first saw this act in an “after party” held at a neighbor’s. Our complex had just had a big neighborhood party in the meeting room and one of the neighbors invited maybe 15-20 of us to continue the party at his place.
I didn’t know Blondie all that well and what little I did know wasn’t good. I try to like her but she sure makes it difficult.
We were all crowded in the 2-bedroom unit and I’m doing the idle chitchat with Blondie. The place was so crowded we were standing up near one corner of the room.
I was saying something about how difficult it was to meet available men my age who were interested in women my age; most men want to date younger women. I told her that I had posted an online personal ad and while the men who contacted me seemed like nice enough guys, I really didn’t want to date someone 20 years or more older than I.
Blondie then shared that she had an online ad as well and was also getting the 65+ year olds contacting her.
So we’re both kinda-sorta doing the Female Bonding Thing.
Blondie then looks down at the beer bottle she’s holding, raises it to her lips and leans back against the wall. She looks at me over the bottle as she drinks.
I’m holding a plastic cup of red wine in my hand and waiting for her to continue her thought.
Her eyes follow the path of the beer bottle as she lowers it. She then slowly raises her eyes to look at me and says, “I’m bisexual. I like women, too.”
She smiles at me. Slyly. No teeth, just lips.
I reply, “Guess this means you have double the dating opportunities that I do.”
I smile. Innocently. No teeth. Just lips.
I think it was Woody allen who said, “being bisexual doubles your chances of getting a date on a Saturday night.”
HMTKSteve: Yup. According to QuoteDB.com, Allen is the one who said it. I also found this quote by him on BrainyQuote:
“A ‘Bay Area Bisexual’ told me I didn’t quite coincide with either of her desires.”
I had no idea I was quoting Allen at the time; all I was doing was giving a logical response to her statement! I’m not into people who hope to put you on the defensive.
Yikes. Don’t know what else to say. That certainly doesn’t happen everyday.
DigitalRich: It certainly doesn’t happen to ME every day!
Wow - that’s an interesting twist to the story! Kudos for coming up with a great response on the fly!
Hi, Eccentric Blonde - I have some interesting neighbors, that is for sure! I have a couple more Blondie stories which may or may not get posted!
So are you back from Scotland?