Jun 27 2007
Crazy 8
Christian from Peogles tagged me. He wrote I had an interesting persona and he’d like to get to know more.
If I tell you more doesn’t that defeat the purpose? Doesn’t that remove some of the aura of mystery that surrounds Ms. Q?
A woman of mystery and intrigue, a woman with an interesting persona, she must have her secrets, n’est pas?
Regardless, I am flattered to be asked and heck, I’m game.
This is how it works.
- Each player must post these rules first.
- Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
- People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
- At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
My Crazy 8
- I have flat feet. I run with orthotics.
- I sometimes take home the paper napkins from restaurants. I hate to see them go to waste if there are leftovers.
- I used to be fluent in Spanish (took high school Advanced Placement test). Nada mas. C’est la vie!
- I cry easily.
- I was a florist for 10 years.
- I spent the night in a flimsy tent on a beach in Costa Rica during the rainy season. I can still remember the buffeting wind, the opaqueness of the light, the salty humidity.
- I have a weakness for lean men with sculpted shoulders, dark curly hair, an incredible vocabulary and a library card.
- I have no broken bones but my heart has been broken twice.
If they don’t have anything better to do:
- Gary Lee from MrGaryLee - I am sure there’s more to him than SEO and marketing.
- Derek Wong from Going the Wong Way - He’s overdue for a tag.
- Steve Pavlina from Personal Development for Smart People - what the heck. He’s pretty open in his blog but I’m sure he has something obscure to share.
- Craig Harper, Motivational Speaker - I’m sure he’ll serve it straight up with a twist.
- HMTKSteve from Ramblings from the Marginalized - He should be used to this by now.
I ran out of steam with creating a list of eight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you like Steve Pavlina I think you’ll really like my blog too.
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/
John Wesley: I do like your blog! I have been reading it off and on for a while now - you definitely give your readers something to think about. Thanks for the comment - it reminded me to join your MyBlogLog community - been meaning to do that.
Ms. Q - Thanks for sharing a few more facts about yourself. Trust me, you’re still a mystery to me. ;)… I really enjoyed number 7. I thought that was funny that they needed to have a library card. I share number 8 with you. I too have never broken a bone, but my heart has been broken a few times. :)…
Christian: You’re a bit of a mystery well - you don’t list yourself as an author on Peogles (for a while there I thought you and Chris Macalino were the same person) and like me, you don’t have a photo of yourself!
Ah, the library card. But the man has to use it and hopefully he’s checking out the occasional book with his DVDs and graphic novels.
Going to the library says a lot about a person, I think.
I have a well-used library card.
It’s not fun (as fun as a nail in the eye) but having had your heart broken - and more than once - is a good sign, shows you’re willing to love as well as love again.
I’m hoping that the third time’s the charm.
I’m done i’m done
- http://www.mrgarylee.com/2007/06/27/8-fun-facts-about-gary-lee/
That was fun!
Oh yeah, a library card is a big plus! A sense of humor and a library card…playing an instrument doesn’t hurt…plus the hair…
Just twice on the heartbreak, huh? That seems like a pretty good track record.
Gary: Nice set of random facts and thanks for playing!
Jill: Little do men know,huh? A library card. Playing an instrument and hair (what kind?) does it for you I guess?
Since I’m a writer, I am even more attracted to a man if he can express himself with writing. I don’t mean he has to write wonderful prose, just that he feels comfortable writing and can in some way put thoughts to word.
Sense of humor and intelligence - the list could go on! I like kind. Kindness is high on the list!
Another meme?
I’m going to have to check my schedule…
Spanish? Isn’t “C’est la vie” French?
As for #7, I do have a library card. Not so much for the rest of those items. Guess you wont be answering my “booty” call eh?
Just as well, between my wife and daughter I think I have enough women in my life!
HMTKSteve: This particular tag is an easy filler post, good for when you have no idea what to write!
Si. “C’est la vie” is French. I also had a semester of French.
You have a library card? I’d think so, what with the daughter! I didn’t think you had dark hair but you mentioned cowlicks. You mean you’re not lean and no sculpted shoulders?
Poof! Fantasy-be-gone. You and the “booty” call! I thought you were offering to be MY booty call. Guess not. As you say, you have a wife.
I have, uh, my own library card.
C’est la vie.
No, I don’t have a killer bod’ anymore. At my best I was 5′10″, 175 lbs of lean mean fighting machine in my army days. Not anymore! Now my strongest muscle is the one between my ears. It’s the one I use to earn a living with.
I took a year of spanish, a year of French and two years of Latin while in high school. I took a semester of German while overseas just to learn the basics and picked up the rest by talking to the locals.
Because I let my hair grow out (as much as was allowed) while in Germany I was often mistaken for a German citizen!
HMTKSteve: No “killer bod” huh? Must be those Banana Twinkies.
I had 4.5 years of Spanish, a semester of French and 1 or 2 semesters of Latin in middle school. My plan was to learn all the “romance” languages. Oh, well. I’d like to learn Italian. I went to Italy on vacation and would love to return and be able to just hang out.
Yeah, romance languages… I tried talking in latin to one of my girlfriends and it did not lead to any romance!
HMTKSteve: then she wasn’t the gal for you. She certainly wasn’t a geek. I think geeks end end up having some type of brush with Latin. Knowing some Latin helps with a lot of things - medicine, biology, botany. Not that geeks have to date fellow geeks. Might never reproduce.
The hair - dark curly just like you said is great.
Prematurely gray & standing straight up is good too…hair’s good stuff. 
Yeah & I’m an absolute goner for a cute guy who can play with words. It’s SCARY how much emotional baggage I overlook/take on if you mix in an instrument too… Let’s just say Ricardo’s got nuttin’ on my last…oh never mind… :-0 :-0 :-0
Gotta disagree with that last one - I’m a TOTAL geek and never so much as a semester of Latin! A Bachelor of Arts in Spanish though & seven years or more years of French…does that count?
Hey thanks for the tag. I finished mine at Eight Things, Count ‘Em Up.
I, too, ran out of steam on tagging 8 people. It seems like a small amount, but when it comes down to choosing who you’d actually want to pick it’s not too easy!
Yeah so my *mom* said I should try online dating…and I “borrowed” your library card comment. I didn’t think you’d mind…I hope not. Eeek - I’m SCARED of online dating, but I think I tried a really low key one where no one will actually ask me for a date.
:-0
Jill: Why would I mind your borrowing my library card comment? I’m flattered you want to use it! I gather you put together a profile but you wrote “low key” does that mean you tried that “Mingle” one? I only know about it because Ricardo posted that “what’s my blog rating?” link and that’s how I found out my blog is Rated G. I see your blog is rated PG-13 for:
* poop (4x)
* kill (2x)
* steal (1x)
Jeez.
ANYway, I see that Mingle offers free online dating. I wanted to see if there was any men on that thing in my area but couldn’t as I would have to create an account. Fuhgettaboutit.
There is not much stigma to online dating these days. I’ve heard too many stories, personal as well as friends-of-friends type stuff about people meeting (and marrying!) online. Which doesn’t address your being scared.
You said you were a few years younger than I which means you’re probably gonna have a LOT of competition for men your age. Unless you wanna GO Cougars! and date men 8+ years younger than you.
So..are you scared of dating again or scared of well, meeting some freak? Both?
I haven’t had many dates over the YEARS I’ve had a profile up. I’m not always looking, though. However, last year I signed up for 3 months as a “summer project” and was FOCUSED and searched and emailed and all that.
I didn’t get many dates but all the men I met were: very nice, highly intelligent, and thoughtful. All looked very different from each other. Unfortunately, no 2-way matches. Such is life.
I ran out of steam at the end of the summer. I just “re-upped” again this summer. I dunno. It takes a lot of emotional energy! My mom thinks I should go the Cougar route. Not my speed.
Don’t forget: you can ask for dates, too!
Why don’t you write a post about trying out online dating?
I have the feeling I’m going to regret this when it’s not 3:30 am & I’m not just in from last call…I wonder if I can delete these things? :-0 :-0 :-0
I think the one I signed up for is like a Jewish myspace, though I haven’t totally figured the thing out - just signed up today. Unfortunately, I have very little fear of freakiness. I actually prefer at least a very little bit of freakiness, otherwise I’m afraid the person isn’t normal… :-0 :-0 :-0 KIDDING!
More or less my fears are:
:-) 
-all the potential rejection (regardless of whether I’m the rejector or the reject-ee. I dislike & feel both quite easily/deeply)
-expending more emotional energy than I actually possess.
-actually finding someone I like & who likes me, doing his stupid laundry for 12 years & fixing him dinner & washing all his dishes & never, ever going dancing or to a bar again or to hear live music all so he can leave for some woman from his office… NOT that I’m bitter about my divorce or anything (really! I’m not! all that much…)
- friends, family & coworkers stalking out my dating profile (like that even matters when I have a blog & myspace…). Stalking out a dating profile just *feels* like more of a lack of privacy though…
What does the cougars reference mean? I dated a younger guy very recently, but I was a goner before I knew how old he was & besides, in the grand scheme of things, the age discrepancy was the least of our worries…
I put on the part about the library card (thanks for letting me borrow!), playing an instrument & knowing how to laugh. I probably should have put something about drinking on there:
“Must be willing to drink on first date and have an endless fascination for places that make your clothing stink of cigarette smoke and beer. Total goner for cute guys who write books with titles I don’t understand, like alcohol and dancing, and play an instrument.” Sigh. What’s the use?
Jill: “In from last call” - I gather in from the last Bar call? I think bars close at 2am but I’ve also heard some places can close at 4am?
Nope, you can’t delete your comments on other blogs unless you have permission! Or you ask the site admin nicely
Generally I feel it is good to work through your fears or do something in spite of your fears if the result will be good for you. So your signing up for an online dating service sounds like a good thing!
Thanks for sharing your fears. On a serious note, I find the emotional expenditure tiring. I mean all the searching through profiles with so few matches either way. I mean, hundreds of men and you find 3 kinda-sorta-maybe-if-I-squint possibilities! And some you may not even notice because they had a bad photo or bad writing or whatever.
I mean, the people using the dating sites are probably more like “regular folk” than freaks and “shopping” for a mate (and being shopped for) does feel dehumanizing, a distillation of our defining traits.
By the time I actually meet someone, there is so much hope on both sides.
You can check out the Urban Dictionary for what “cougar” means. One definition is:
A 35+ year old female who is on the “hunt” for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male.
Give! How much younger was the guy you were dating?
I’m guessing your profile is fantastic and funny!
“Total goner for cute guys who write books with titles I don’t understand” hahaha!
My profile has evolved over the years. Some tips that my male friends have told me with respect to my photos are:
Show your body! I finally posted something recent with me in a skirt and another in a tank top.
Wear bold colors! I was told to wear black or red or some nice contrasting and bold colors. No pink, no lavender, bold colors catch the eye.
Grow your hair! Men like long hair. I haven’t done that but I am growing out my hair a little bit. You have masses of dark hair so that’s a big plus.
The thing is you have to include photos - the more the better.
When it comes to the writing part, “the essay question” I am obviously no expert! It tends to attract men in 50+ not my target age range (which is 37-47).
What I have noticed is that my profile attracts men who are intellectually compatible which makes me think that men my age are seldom thinking the way I do! Or it could just boil down to the age-old (!!) men-like-younger-women thing.
You sound way more of a guy’s woman than I do - what with the penchant for bars, musicians and a bit of a freak factor.
I am TOTALLY serious on that cute author remark! Infatuation city.
Oh dear…I might kind’a resemble that cougar remark…sort of. Except, I *DON’T* go home with guys from bars (OKAY! One lousy cokehead once, but I didn’t sleep with him. Well, technically I did SLEEP…) and I’m not surgically altered. I’d ****rather**** date old guys, but the fun ones all seem to be babies…
I can’t “give” too much (public as we are here) on the guy I was dating, ’cause he dislikes being discussed…but he’s the one I said Ricardo had nothin’ on…(I’m sticking by that statement since Ricardo at least *has* family to do him wrong & hasn’t blogged about any prison time that I know of)…Right. Well. Anyway. He’s seven years younger.
Yeah, I’ve got a bunch of pics on my myspace & put up a couple on this Jewish myspace, so I’m covered there (or uncovered as the case may be…NOT! I have on clothing, actually in all my pictures! Well, except my bikini picture, but that’s just on my flickr photos not my profile or myspace). I like my myspace profile, but that’s not a dating thing & this dating one doesn’t let you decorate it all up like myspace (which, btw email me if you want to see - do you have that? It’s FUN!) I need to work on the profile a little more yet - took me awhile to get the myspace the way I like it.
Jill: Cute authors with incomprehensible book titles? That’s a pretty esoteric weakness - I guess there are a lot more of ‘em where you are.
Makes me wonder at the book titles:
“Twine in Moonlight”
“The Shoes of My Soul”
“Lunacy’s Brittle Song”
“and I pulled it out of my arse”
Are these incomprehensible enough? That last one is probably too obvious.
When you mentioned cute authors, I thought about Neil Gaiman. I had never heard of him or not really until I began reading Irisi’s blog. WHoofda. [Ms. Q's brain has left the area....Ms. Q's brain is no longer in the house...]
I’m back now.
Sounds like you have serious cougar-tendencies. Then again, your idea of fun may just match up well with younger men. Seven years doesn’t seem huge. I had one guy, very Abercrombie-Fitch 24-and-toned sending me cougar-bait signals. He was practically waving flags before I noticed - I mean, I was 16 years older wearing sweats and jeez, he seemed a KID to me!
I knew he was hot-looking but he didn’t make me feel the burn. I can’t do “fun” relationships. Hurts too much.
Too bad your younger guy didn’t work out. People can come from bad places and leave them behind.
You have a bikini photo? Granted it’s not on your profile but you actually have a photo of you in a bikini? Wow. “Hot Momma” comes to mind!
I don’t have a MySpace account but thanks for the offer to let me read yours. Except for my dating profile, I have no photos of myself online nor any personal information intentionally made public!
Still operating on no sleep here but -
“I can’t do ‘fun’ relationships. Hurts too much.” - You know, I’m not sure if I can even tell the difference anymore, if I even ever could. My cougar guy was sooooooooooooo much fun when it was fun, but it got a whole lot of serious and sad really quickly. I think I was talking about the person knowing how to have fun more than the relationship itself being serious or not serious. I went on a date recently and knew within very little time: This is soooooooooooooo not a guy who is going to climb up on a bank roof with me.
Yeah. I did that on the first date w/the cougar guy. Wait. Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to talk about that?
My bikini picture is on page 3 of the flickr photos linked to my blog (link on the right hand side - it says “my photos at flickr). I’ve been told by interested parties that it’s not a very *revealing* bikini, but I’m a person who has never even OWNED a bikini before this summer, so that’s how revealing I’m only willing to be.
The authors - I’ve been friends with two in particular for years (one for TWENTY years - although we only really did Christmas / holiday cards once a year while I was married) & knew both before they were published. Neither guy’s writing can I really read without reread and rereading. I consider myself sort of clever and not stupid or anything, but I look as dumb as a stump compared to either of these men. Clever as your titles are, I happen to know ALL the words. I seriously have to use a dictionary just to understand the titles of my friends’ books/articles. That and the fact that both of them are adorable and know how to have fun and are my age…well, if either of them lived less than 1500 miles from me, I’d downright have to be scraped off the floor.
Jill! When I referred to “fun” relationships I meant “this will never develop into anything lasting” relationships. I figured that when you referred to a man being fun you meant you well, you both had the same idea of what fun was and had fun together!
I’ve tried “fun” relationships and I have finally learned that I am not emotionally built for them. I really want to form a relationship. I know that most relationships don’t work out - I mean, you date a while and learn about each other and it works out or it doesn’t. However, if it’s known from the beginning that it’s not going to develop - that’s not who I am. I just keep hoping and end up hurting.
There are some men who really make you feel free - like you said about climbing on the bank roof with. I can kind of imagine doing that although not if it were some form of trespassing!
Your cougar relationship sounded painful and it sounds like you’re still recovering. I get the feeling that your cougar guy is not a bad guy just a very (internally) broken and wounded guy. Those type of men are very compelling and I have dated a few of them! Maybe not quite the “just shy of a prison sentence” type but broken inside. We can’t fix them.
Climbing on a bank roof sounds symbolic and I wonder in what way.
I checked out your bikini photo - wow, you’re either petite OR your friends are Amazons! Nice photo! Youse bodacious! (everyone is off clicking over to your site).
Hmm..on your author friends. I am not so good with obscure writing or writing that has me stumbling around as I read it. Makes my head hurt. You have to use a dictionary to understand their titles? They must write for a niche market. Are they fiction or I dunno, articles for Scientific American? I may have to email you to ask for a title or 2. You’ve piqued my curiosity!
I hope you’re reading this after a good night’s rest!
The friend standing right next to me is Amazon.
Ok, so if you both know in advance that it’s not going anywhere, it counts as “fun”????
It must go like this then:
*if* your heart is DEFINITELY about to break into all kinds of tiny pieces, the relationship is considered “fun”.
*if* you have an actual chance of liking each other for a good long time, it no longer qualifies as “fun”.
I wonder who decided that one? The same person who decided that guys get to look BETTER with gray hair & women always look worse? Or somebody less gender biased?
I’m pretty sure we were trespassing. Leave it to me to suggest to a guy who has already been to prison that he should climb a bank roof in the middle of the night…I think the symbolism is going to escape me until I get some actual sleep…yeah no…I didn’t do that yet. Wished to stay up on the phone awhile with another promise of “fun”… When will I ever learn…
BTW, it is SO much better for me to keep this dating stuff over here where *you* at least are anonymous! My blog, on the other hand, is read by coworkers & my son’s teacher to name a couple. Saturday my friend took a phone call while we were in the car & I heard her say, “I’m with my friend Jill. Yes, she does have a blog.” !!!!!! :-0 :-0 :-0 !!!!!!!!
Maybe I will figure out something acceptable for my oh so not anonymous blog…Turkish men but nothing to do with prison…I know - they could click your comments & stalk me over here, but they’d have to be pretty darn dedicated to stalking me & most people I know don’t have that kind of time.
Besides, even if things didn’t work out with my cougar guy, I’m pretty sure he’d still be willing to protect me from stalkers…and he wasn’t in prison for any white collar crime either…There. Does that sound like it will scare away stalkers? Or does it just sound like I’m willing to befriend felons?
If I can figure a way to email you through your blog, I’ll send you an amazon.com link for one of the authors.
Jill: I am using the word “fun” relationship for “going nowhere” as opposed to FWB (Friends With Benefits). It’s my own catch-all.
Some people are great with only having fun - falling into bed, having booty calls, no strings attached. They may think that loads of fun. Fine for them, not so fine for me.
With respect to knowing without a doubt that your heart will break if you get involved - that’s not fun.
That’s when you either walk away or weigh the pleasure against the pain.
Do you now wish you had started an anonymous blog? I mean, you’re sharing all this stuff “over here” instead of “over there” so it sounds like you need some place to let it all hang out! I am leery of stalkers and identity theft and as you may be able to guess, am the type that tries to prevent problems from happening. So anonymous blog and lots of shredding of personal data!
Sounds like you’re still figuring out your relationship with CG.
Based on all your comments, are you sure you want to begin dating again? Maybe you need a break. I stopped thinking about dating for a couple of years and it really freed up my brain. Of course it then gets a bit difficult to restart thinking about dating which is why so many people give it up.
[...] Ms. Q: Q has a weakness for lean men with sculpted shoulders, dark curly hair, an incredible vocabulary and a library card. [...]
I could have sworn I read yours before..but I wasn’t sure so I decided to tag you anyway
Gregg: no biggie! My post title doesn’t make it all that easy to search for it, either!