Aug 27 2007
Chinese Sayings, Birds of a Feather, Spots and Leopards
My mom loves cuddly, soft materials, fuzzy textures and animal prints.
Throughout my life I’ve seen her wear a variety of coats that astound me.
To give you some idea of her style, her idea of “matching” is that everything she wears is in the same hue. So a purple shirt will be worn with purple pants a purple sweater and if she had them, purple shoes.
When I was a kid she called her favorite going-out coat “Big Bird.”
Remember “Sesame Street”?
Well, Big Bird was Big. Big and Yellow.
My mom is small. Five-foot-one-exactly. When I was a child, she loomed large and feathery and yellow.
Her latest favorite coat is this hooded leopard printed coat.
She quite likes it: it’s so soft she likes to pet it. It’s also very warm.
Mom may have her ideas about matching but she also believes in comfort so if it’s cold, leopard goes with navy corduroy and hiking boots.
While we were out at Walgreen’s, I came across an inexpensive knit scarf made out this very soft stretchy and feathery yarn.
It was in tans, blacks and browns and I knew that it would match one of her favorite velour coats. It was just my mom’s kind of thing so I take it down and to show it to her. Her eyes light up and she rubs the yarn between her fingers.
“Oooh, soft!” she says.
“I think it’ll go with that jacket of yours - what do you think?” I ask.
“Yeah. I think it’ll go good with that,†she says.
“Tell you what, I’ll buy it for you.” I tell her.
“Really? Wow.” she says.
I think the scarf is cute and it’s quite cheap so why not?
She was so thrilled by that scarf.
She was so thrilled that while I was doing a few things at her house, she changed her clothing to match the scarf. She had changed her blue shirts to a brown turtleneck. She went all the way with some eye shadow and lipstick and she’s generally a lipstick-only person.
When we went out to our favorite neighborhood Chinese restaurant, she looked up at W our waiter. W is a mid-sized Chinese guy nearing 50 with softening shoulders, a soft round belly that seems independent from his body and a pale, guileless face.
“Notice anything different?” she asked him. W has known us for over a decade. She casually adjusts the scarf around her neck.
W smiles and looks over at me.
“Something different?” he says back at her. “Uhhh….”
“Hint. It’s something to keep your neck warm…” I say.
“Oh! The scarf!” W laughs.
“Guess who got this for me?” my mom asks him. Her eyes widen and she looks pointedly at me.
W plays along, grins, looks over at me and says, “Your daughter?”
“Yeah! Isn’t she nice? And we’re going out to dinner, too!”
Mom got such a kick out of that scarf it was sweet to watch. I felt a bit embarrassed - I mean it only cost me $6.50!!
When we were getting ready to leave, my mom was buttoning up her leopard print coat. I hadn’t actually purchased the scarf with that coat in mind but it “matched” the leopard print well enough.
W looks at mom’s coat and asks, “Is that real?”
“Do we look rich enough to have a real leopard fur coat?” I ask.
“Hey, you never know…they have this saying in China…” W begins.
I begin to smile. W is always good for a story.
“They say that if you see a man who looks rich - one who is wearing nice clothing and expensive jewelry. They say if you were to pick up such a man, if you were to turn him upside-down and shake him - nothing would drop out! Not one penny! All the money is on the outside so nothing is left for the inside!”
W chuckles to himself and mimes pulling out empty pockets. He goes on to say that in China, appearance is everything so people will go out of their way to look like they have money.
“Here in America, the richest people will dress the poorest!” he says.
I say, “Well, we’re not rich!”
W says, “Well, you can never tell.”
W is right.
What’s on the outside doesn’t always match what’s on the inside.
My mom has gone from Big Bird to Spotted Leopard.
She’s still my mom.
She never fails to astound me.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
MsQ, that’s so sweet.. you can feel the affection you have for your mom coming through!
And uhh, what does it matter how much the scarve costs? It’s the thought and the attention you gave to it that counts so much more than a price!
I don’t know of course, but you probably would have wanted to buy it even if it was more expensive right?
So, the odds were with you, that’s all. Your mother is thrilled, what more could you want..
This Big Bird thing is really a funny thing though… Here in the Netherlands he’s blue (really don’t know why..). This whole thing kinda creates a problem when the U.S. Sesame Street show visits the Netherlands.. Then Big Bird is renamed as ‘nephew Jan’ from the U.S. ;-))
Ellen: Welcome back from your holiday! That was quick - or it seemed quick to me. Dang. Time DOES fly!
To be honest, if the scarf cost just a few dollars more, I probably would have passed - she has a lot of accessories (scarfs, gloves, hats) and tends to lose them. She’s said she’s left things behind since she was a child. It’s much easier to lose an inexpensive thing than an expensive one.
My mom is really blossoming these days which is great to see.
Big Bird is blue in the Nederlands? Huh. Maybe that color is more popular or relates to a favorite bird there? In the states, birds in the media tend to be yellow - Tweety Bird for example. Canaries. I think people in the US must like yellow or think yellow when it comes to birds.
You sure know how to tell a story.
I happen to visit a friend last night. I asked him why are you wearing your glasses in the house (they are sunglasses). He proceeds to tell me that they are expensive. I then ask him if he has the same amout of money in the bank that he spent on his glases. He tells me know but he isn’t poor.
Material seems to be everything to people these days. Like someone else I knew who happens to be very stylish. But when you go into their apartment they don’t have any furniture. They sleep on top of mattress that is on the floor. I think its nuts be who am I?
I miss your blog Ms. Q. I’ve been so tied up with new opportunities I haven’t had a chance to read in depth. Hope you have been doing well these days.
UT: Yeah, it’s been in a while since I’ve told a story and I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m glad you left that comment. I’ve been out of touch with my storytelling side for a while so it feels really nice to receive a compliment!
My mom is great for stories! She does read my blog and when I first asked if she would mind my writing about her, she said, “Oh, no, I don’t care. Besides, I’m REALLY interesting! I know this! People will find me funny.”
My mom - there is no other!
That’s funny about your friend wearing sunglasses in the house just because they are expensive! I’m trying not to be judgmental about how people spend their money as I think I may be nurturing some type of reverse-snobbery!
When it comes to someone who’d rather have nice clothes or accessories it may provide more enjoyment than furniture. I mean, maybe they are always out and only use their home to “crash” - so why not spend their money on what they actually use?
For example, I have automatic door locks on my car. I have a mid-sized sedan. A friend got a small sedan and no automatic door locks. He didn’t want to pay the extra thousand dollars (or something like that for the system) for the feature. Just wasn’t worth it to him.
In my case, I probably tend to drive others around more than he does (like my mom). When he drives me, he either unlocks my door first (and I’ll lean over to unlock his door) or he’ll get in and lean over.
I do tend to think negatively of someone when they seem to put such importance on material goods. I am working on letting go of judging in general - it’s an ongoing thing! It’s their life and I think on this, “When you criticize someone you are saying you’re better than they.”
Ouch!
Unfortunately, our culture is all about appearance. When I listen to the radio, I’ll hear commercials like, “I love the looks I get when I’m driving my new Mercedes” or “Embarrassed by your….”
Again, I appreciate your telling me you miss reading my blog! I have noticed your absence but I’ve noticed you haven’t written much on your blog and figured … you were too busy living!
your mother sounds like an amazing little woman..
It’s great when something so inexpensive can be so satisfying!
And on the appearances vs. money thing - my old Canadian Studies teacher used to say, “You guys are rich enough to look poor!”
I agree with Irisi!
My brother and I have talked about our future and when we become “rich.” We don’t want to dress up such as W stated the Chinese do! We’ve talked about it and said that we’ll still dress up in athletic shorts and a t-shirt on any given day
Although, I’d have to admit that some girls…especially in high school and college think appearance is everything!!
-Gregg
All very true what W said MsQ. I have seen some very well off people looking like slobs. I would also love to see your mother in this scarf. She seems to love it very much. But what makes it so valuable to her is because you got it for her. It could have been 99 cents and it would not have mattered. She would love it just the same.
Irisi: Thanks! My mom is amazing. She drives me nuts at times (she knows this) but she is also very courageous in her own way.
Jill: It IS great to find “Cheap Pleasures”. My mom was so happy and proud, I really felt her love for me.
Gregg: Thanks for the vote for my mom!
When you and your brother become rich, you may enjoy having some designer clothing. You never know. But I don’t see nice clothes defining you.
I don’t know if valuing appearance is limited to just high school and college girls!
Ricardo: I’m not sure about showing my mom in the scarf but she really does like it and I know that a big part of it was the fact that I bought it for her, quite spontaneously. My mom worries about money but money does not impress her. You are right that she loves it because it came from me.