Oct 22 2007
Minnesota On My Mind
I don’t go out of my way to think of Minnesota, that’s for sure.
But for some odd reason, Minnesota keeps coming up.
The last time I was in Minnesota was huh, several years ago.
It was in the winter. Negative 19F with the wind chill.
Not fun.
I was there for work. Well, I sure wasn’t there for the Mall of America. I wouldn’t think Metrosexuals roam there. Then again, who knows?
Anyway, I was in Minnesota. In the winter. The locals were bemoaning how mild it was. Remember, the temps were -19F with the wind chill factor. That’s too freakin’ cold for it to snow.
For the locals, SNOW = FUN.
For Ms. Q, SNOW = Nail-in-the-eye.
So no winter sports. No snowmobiles. I guess there might be ice fishing.
The project was lots of fun. If you like nails in your eyes. Or in this case, icicles.
That was the last time I was in Minnesota.
Not that it was all bad. I was working with a team and every so often our manager would fly in to cheer us up. He would take us all out to dinner and he found this great place called Cafe Havana. I still remember the paella. You had to order it something like the day before and it was fantastic. Nothing like paella to defrost your toes. Memorable after all these years.
Cafe Havana was close to Sex World.
Did that make you blink? The first time we shivered our way from the car to the restaurant and spotted Sex World’s garish neon sign, we were all a bit stunned. Something did not compute.
Brain lock. Well, Brain Freeze might be more like it.
Minnesota. Sex World. Winter.
Hmmm. If it’s too cold to do anything outside what to do…what to do…
That all was years ago and I really hadn’t thought much about Minnesota.
Until recently.
For some odd reason Minnesota keeps coming up.
It all started with my reading “Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper” by Diablo Cody. The author writes about her experiences as a stripper. In Minnesota.
She also worked for Sex World. The only thing I call really recall about the book is that the strippers who wore white heels got more tips. This surprised the author who had made the mistake of buying black shoes.
Her thought was that there something about the white/virginal-sin/stripper dichotomy that got the men all revved up. Hey, whatever gets the tips.
Speaking of strippers, guess what else Minnesota is known for? The Hot Dish.
Someone I knew had moved there for work and told me about this regional specialty.
Sorry, it doesn’t involve white shoes.
It’s a casserole. Here’s how you make a hot dish:
- Get a pound of hamburger.
- Add a can of soup.
- Mix it up.
- Either pour the mixture over some type of empty carb or top the mixture with an empty carb. If you want to go crazy, do both.
Example 1:
- Mix a pound of hamburger with a can of cream of mushroom soup.
- Pour over a mashed potatoes.
- Bake.
Example 2: Mexican Hot Dish
- Mix a pound of hamburger with a can cheese soup and a packet of taco seasoning.
- Pour over tortilla chips.
- Bake.
Strippers and Hot Dishes. They really do go together. I found out when I accidentally typed in Hotdish Dot com in my browser’s address field. I realized my mistake as soon as I hit the return key when my brain caught up with my typing.
I had forgotten that hot dish had other connotations. If you’re not 18 years old, don’t try it. Or don’t say you heard it from me.
The next time Minnesota came up was when I began reading Speedcat Hollydale’s blog. He lives in Hollydale, MN.
Then I’m ordering something and the company is located in Minnetonka, MN.
Then I have dinner with someone and learn he’s from Minnesota.
Last weekend I was attending some training. The instructor mentions that he’s originally from Minnesota.
I am not sure if all this has any significance. If I were looking for Portents and Omens I think the glowing neon signs of Sex World have been dimmed by time.
However, while I was Googling to figure out if Cafe Havana was still in existence, I found this review of its bathrooms.
If that ain’t a sign, I don’t know what is.
OK, so it’s not quite on par with a burning bush and I have no idea what it all means but it’s a sign.
It’s a sign I gotta go …
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ohhh Man! That was one good time post! Ha haaa!!!! I love to see an “outsiders thoughts” of Minnesotans.
I do not get “downtown” much, but Minneapolis is a strange mix. You have a beautiful high-rise condo, a strip club, and an art gallery all on one block. Culture? … probably NOT. City planners and zoning committees are always at lunch I guess - then. (I add that for Minnesota dialect humor) …this leads me to my question. What were you doing taking a picture of Sex World? (LOL)
The “HOT DISH” is fine dinning up North. You should visit Baudett MN sometime - if you would like to be bored to tears. A person’s life perpective grows bright after spending a day or two there. “I know!”
M.O.A. - Too busy! / Minnetonka - VERY NICE ~ Home to “Prince”, and some other famous singers and actors. If your in the market for a 10 million dollar home, this is where you find one.
Summertime here is grand. Winter is just dumb
Eric “Speedcat Hollydale”
Speedy! I figgered you might get a kick outta this post. I didn’t take the photo of Sex World. I had to google for it. I was in Minnesota prior to my having a digital camera and I don’t think cameras were in cell phones yet, either.
We went to Cafe Havana a few times and we all talked about having our photo taken in from of the store. But…we were too freakin’ cold and tired and digital cameras were not as ubiquitous as they are now.
I think that Cafe Havana has a cigar club - not quite sure. Or maybe a cigar smoking section? Your blog makes Minnesota look all nice and green and warm. I knew better.
This is a sign that you must return to Minnesota, eat from that hot plate and dance on the stage of sex world in shiny white shoes. Will this lead to enlightenment? No, but it’s something you can say you did.
Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know about the whole Minnesota thing, but we DEFINITELY need to work for that website!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ricardo: I never mentioned that the white shoes were shiny. Hmmm…guess there might be some truth to this white shoe thing.
Then again…I know you’ve been to one too many stag parties!
I don’t agree with your interpretation of the signs. I think you misread the small print. It might be that things are getting HOT and life is DISHING it out and I can’t take it so maybe I gotta STRIP myself of my limiting beliefs and chose to DANCE with fear instead of avoiding it with a ten-foot POLE. Not yet sure how Minnesota fits in.
Jill: It just goes to show you that we’re not the only ones with a public restroom fixation. I always knew it! Sometimes people will catch me taking photos and I can see they wish they could, too!
Could you just picture it (no pun intended)…the 2 of us, digital cameras in hand, taking photos of the public restrooms. You’ll specialize in clubs and bars, I’ll specialize in Airports and occasionally, the First Class Lounge.
When people drop their jaws in amazement, we calmly tuck our hair behind our ear, look at them and state, “Have no fear, I am a professional.”
“Have no fear, I am a professional.†I had a good laugh over that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RICARDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hi! Long time no see…
You know, Minnesota is where grunge music actually started, which is why Chris Cornell (of Soundgarden) sang “I’m lookin’ California and feelin’ Minnesota,” in their tune “Outshined.” He wanted to be a California rock star by taking the grunge Minnesota route. You’re blogging on the cutting edge of hipness, Ms. Q.
when I was stationed in Germany there was a strip club called “Sexy Land” that we used to walk by on the way to the bars. I may have to write about it one day…
Jill: Glad you’re laughing WITH me and not AT me!
the frogster: cutting edge of hipness? Moi??! Who wudda thunk it. This means that Minnesota is officially on its way out. I’m never cutting edge. OK. Sometimes I am but I precede the wave so far in advance (I was wearing Eddie Bauer parkas BEFORE outdoor “gear” became “gearware”) that really, I’m just odd.
HMTKSteve: Yes. More army stories!!
I’ve been to minnesota for work as well, but didn’t see anything near as interesting as “Sex World.” It was one of those are we going or not kind of things were the class one dork i had for my boss’ boss at the time finally said “yeah” - six days before the trip. Oh, well. I guess that blows any chance of a decent fair to hell, doesn’t it. The company paid full fare. Not the customer, the company. It was on our dime.
Best part is that because it was full fare, I got first class for 3 out of the four legs of the trip. Yee haaa! and the dork with all his frequent flyer crap on some other airline - stuck in business class on the way home!
What I really remember from that whole thing was the habit-trails to get from here to there. It wasn’t winter, but all the passages made getting around pretty easy.
Though, changing planes in the twin cities, eating dinner during the layover, and then having to slam the second drink because the dork only thought to look at the watch after telling us to get a second drink if we wanted. At least I was able to walk right on to my flight home.
A person was shocked to learn that I was still Catholic. I mentioned to her that being Catholic was like going to Minnesota. Once you’ve been to Minnesota, you’ve been there, and there’s no getting away from that. Once you’re baptized Catholic, you’re a Catholic, and there’s no getting away from that (short of being excommunicated).
I’m still Catholic, but I’ve never been to Minnesota.
What does it all mean?
Your interpretation is sound. Mine was based on male hormones
ack: too bad about the dork. But good going on the first class!
Jake: You know what it all means? It means you either need a drink or have had too many drinks. If you’ve overthunk, you need to get drunk.
If you’re drunk, you’re making connections that mean nothing. Like saying “I’m light as a feather” and “down pillows have feathers” and then thinking, “does this mean I am a pillow?”
Ricardo: Glad your hormones are in working order.
And Helloooooo Jill!!!!
Ricardo and Jill: that’s right. Ignore me. Just talk amongst yourselves….