May 15 2008
On … To the Granny Panties!
Continuing what-all Mom and I did on Mother’s Day…
Now, I’m not much into shopping.
If it weren’t for the driving and parking and crowds and screaming kids and lines, mom likes shopping.
I was glad she was up for the shopping as I wanted to buy her few necessities. I’ve known for a while that her underwear is very…spiritual. Sometimes I help her do laundry and she had some incredibly sad panties.
Personally, I find Target is a great place for bras and panties. Go figure! Great prices and a pretty decent selection. I can usually find something that will work. I don’t mind paying $7.99 for something that pretty much gets the job done.
If I’m paying $25 bucks for ONE panty it had better be perfect and really, I have no big desire for such perfection. This is not to say I have no desire for cute panties…or getting off on any kinda tangent here.
So.
I’m feeling relaxed. The store isn’t a madhouse and mom and I wander around the aisles much like we wandered around the park. I didn’t mention panties. I figure I’ll see how much energy I have after we get some regular shopping out of the way.
An hour or so later the shopping cart had a couple of jars of facial creams for “mature” skin, several bottles of some type of mouth rinse, gardening gloves, protein bars and scrubby pads. All for mom.
The store was even emptier than before.
“Hey mom, let’s look at panties. I know you need some.”
She paused. “Yeah. But…okay.”
I knew how she felt - shopping for underwear isn’t exactly fun. Especially if you have as she calls it, “A big boodah.”
We head over to the lingerie section. Racks and racks of panties and bras, some spilling into the aisles.
“I don’t want cotton. Too sticky,” she tells me.
I started scanning the bagged sets of three.
“What kind do you wear?” I ask.
We started scanning together.
“I don’t like the ones with the lace waistbands or anything that’s below my boodah. It cuts in.”
“Uhm…the hipster style?”
She looks at me. “I gotta wear granny panties.”
I smile to myself.
Mom looks down, pats her tummy with the palms of both hands.
“Yeah. When you have a boodah, you gotta wear the granny panties. Kinda sucks.”
It was actually fun scanning the racks and watching mom hold up panties in front of her boodah seeing if they’d fit.
We do end up going to the fitting room where she tells the attendant, “I will put them on over my panties…don’t worry…”
I have a few of my own items, what the hey, and we enter fitting rooms across from each other. I hear muttering.
“Ngugh! I have to take off my hiking boots…grrr…ooff! Grrr…Oooff-oofff-uhh..oooff!” (pause) “Nguh.”
“How’s it going?” I call out.
“It’s okay. They fit fine. It’s the body that looks like crap.”
Awwww.
We go through a few rounds of this. The cart now has a pile of panty 3-packs.
I eyeball the rest of the lingerie section.
“I think you need a few bras.”
Mom’s face scrunched up a bit and maybe her shoulders slump.
“I dunno.”
“Well…let’s take a quick scan.”
“OK. But no bones! I don’t want the ones with the bones!”
I wasn’t sure how much luck we’d have finding any type of bras without an underwire.
She tells me her size.
I replied, “That can’t be right. That’s the same size as me and I know you’re bigger.”
She tilts her head to one side, “Umm…maybe I’m a B-cup then?”
“Maaay…be. But I thinking you’re also the next size up…”
“But my current bra is that size.”
“I think it’s stretched out. I mean, it’s ancient.”
She looks down. “Huh. Could be.”
As I look for my size in a B-cup, she says, “Gotta be padded. When you’re my age, you need the shaping…”
I found one padded bra in her size that was free of bones. It was a bit snug but it worked.
I’m shopped out and we’re both thirsty.
We start sorting through all the panties. Mom has several sets of the same kinds. She asks, “Should I put these back? Don’t you think 6 pairs are enough?”
“You like those, right?”
“Well…they fit. There’s the boodah…”
“But you like them?”
“Yeah, they’re good.”
“Let’s get all three sets then. You can never have enough underwear.”
“Really?”
“Shopping for underwear is a pain in the…you find something that works, you load up.”
“Huh.”
We head towards the checkout counters. It’s almost 9 by now and no waiting! I pile everything on the conveyer belt. Mom starts rummaging.
“Mom, don’t worry about it - I’m buying all this.”
“Oh! Oh! Ohhh…Mother’s Day!”
It’s dark and cold as I head back home on the freeway.
My mom says, “Nice easy going day. A nice Mother’s Day.”
It certainly was.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Haha what an interesting look into your day. Interesting and also very…personal. At points perhaps more than I had bargained for.
Spiritual… I like that. There was someone at the job who’s shoes were blessed over. Which fits right in with the context of ’spiritual’.
Yes… When you know what works get lots of it. I like that.
Didn’t know Target had dressing rooms. Didn’t even know they allowed you to try on underwear. Inneresting.
Do granny panties come with the little “Monday,” “Tuesday,” etc. tags? Or is that for the younger set?
And I’ve never understood a woman’s insistence that bra and panties match. You can’t see them under clothes and if a guy finds himself in the position to see them having them not match is not going to be a deal breaker for him. (And, just this one time, I’ll go out on a limb and speak for all guys everywhere.)
I hate shopping for undies too. Especially the ‘packages’ that throw in polka dots and weird patterns that look just plain weird on my body. Nobody should wear some of these awful gawdy patterns. Target has awesome undies!
Derek: TMI??
UT: I’ve always called threadbare clothes spiritual - glad you got the reference! (Holey->Holy->Spiritual).
Yep, Target has dressing rooms! I admit that I find “Target” and “Lingerie” a bit of disconnect. Not quite up there with “Agent Provocateur” and “Tractors” but still, an unlikely combination.
Most clothing stores allow you to try on underwear with the expectation that you’re putting them on over your existing underwear. I have seen bathing suits with a “sanitary shield” on the inside. I personally would not want to try on panties without keeping on my own panties.
delmer: I think the Days of The week may work for Granny panties in that grannies might be a tad forgetful about what day of the week it is. But that would mean someone else would have to plan ‘em out for granny.
Uh…the bra is supposed to match the panties? Never heard that. Makes no sense. Right up there with hot dogs coming 10 in a pack and buns being 8 to a pack.
OK, so I have noticed that the ads for lingerie have everything matching but I don’t find this all that easy to implement. I have also noticed that unmatched pairs are in no way shape or form, any kinda deal breaker when it comes to men and getting it on. However, as little as men are said to pay attention to clothing, they do seem to have a keen eye for the difference between “Work” and “Play” underwear.
Sue: Hmm..I think I know which packaged panties you are referring to! A set of 2 with a black pair and a weird fleshy pink pair with tiny black polka dots?
What I also like about Target is that the sales folks seem very happy along with being helpful.
I see the belly thing spans generations! This is where the magic Ms.Q belly comes from. It’s all so clear now. I hope you’re not wearing granny panties. LOL!
Ricardo: Please don’t use “belly” and “Span” in the same sentence!! hehahahaha!! Yes, the “Belly thing” DOES span generations! Mom has fixated on her belly since I’ve emerged from it which of course means that I got a bit of I-don’t-want-no-belly obsession myself.
In her case, she refers to her belly as “the boodah” - she actually got that from me as I have called bellies “boodahs” (”rub dah boodah”) and more recently, “pooches”
Does your comment mean you’re not into granny panties? When I did a little research (all it consisted of was googling “granny panty”) it lead me to believe that there are some folks out there that find such attire uhmm…rather stimulating.
I’m not into granny panties myself. Nor the anti-granny known as The Thong. Eeee. Looks uncomfortable to me. Thongs look like something that should be sold in 6-packs with a price point of 5 bucks and a marketing strategy of “5/$5 - 6th one is free!”
I just love when you “say” boodah. I pat my own boodah and say, “hmmmm, must have had a big lunch”. You are the start of all that ….
This story is both funny AND heartwarming. Sounds like you n Mom had a nice time together!
…. and Delmer is right about that …. S`all I’m sayin.
Speedy!! Boodah…Boooodah!! I’ve seen your boodah in all it’s shiny glory after T-day dinner. I was very impressed.
Good to know that you agree with Delmer about the whole “matching” thing. I’d be a tad cheesed myself if I was in the mo’ with someone and he is down to the Final Layer and he sez, “Huh. Fuhgettabout it. I’m all about matched sets.”
Well, “cheesed” would be too strong. More like, surprised and then relieved. I mean, if someone is all about the matched sets, he’s got some issues. Best he’d subscribe to a different magazine…
I’ll vote with you on the never too many undies. Never too many undies, never too many rolls of toilet paper & never too many vacuum cleaner bags.
I don’t know about the matching thing though. I’m for super expensive bras and cheap target undies, so I never have had a matching set. And granny panties - UH UH NO WAY!!!!!!!! I know some people claim they’re comfortable but I think they either must be lying or they haven’t tried enough different kinds of undies.
Jill: I’m so with you on the undies and TP. Which reminds me of “the frogster” - not the undies, the TP. Too bad his blog imploded due to hackers! He had a massive TP stockpile.
The vacuum cleaner bags? Hmm. Then again, I don’t have a cat. But I can see the value of having them.
I’ve seen some very nice bras - super expensive as you say. Some are just so beautiful - the material, the design, almost seems a shame they are underwear. Of course, I can see how it might be nice to be wearing such l lovely underwear and it would be your delightful secret. In my case, or rather, in my size (or lack thereof) the cheap bras are actually cuter. I’d probably to to visit Japan to find really fancy bras in my size.
Granny panties and comfort - well… if you’re a bit large, I can see how wearing panties that are more like shorts would work better. Just a guess.
Oh mine aren’t beautiful in the least, just functional. It’s just that Target bras don’t usually come in my size (at least I don’t think they do - haven’t tried in a good long time). I had a pretty one once, but it made a line across all my shirts. I returned it because I knew I would never wear it. The lady at the bra shop said, “It’s for that special someone.” & I told her “I don’t have a special someone, but if I did I wouldn’t want him to see a line across my boobies.” Now I do have a special someone & whether or not I have a line across my boobies is probably not his biggest concern…maybe I should go back…
On the packaged undies - so am I the only one who looks at the crazy patterns and thinks, “Why do they gotta come with the plain ones?!?!” :-0
Vacuum cleaner bags - I’m just not a great housekeeper & when I DO get the wild hair to vacuum, I like to be able to do it then & there because the want to vacuum might not strike again for a good long time. I hate all that trying to remember which store carries them and what letter or number bag I need and why doesn’t Target have those things despite carrying my brand of vacuum?!?!?! I can never just “impulse buy” on vacuum cleaner bags bec. it’s all so complicated. So I like to stock up. *shrug shrug*
Jill: Urk. I was hoping you’d say you had pretty bras! Not that it matters but just that it seems you should get some nice styling for paying more money.
I see some pricey and pretty bras but dang, they look like you need to dry clean them or something, they are so lacy and delicate.
I know what you mean about bras that “show” through shirts. I got some pricey, comfortable and VERY BORING bras from VS. They are holding up (no pun) nicely and they don’t show an outline when wearing tighter shirts. I see some bras that are striped and dotted and think -huh - can’t wear THAT under a white blouse. Or rather, I can’t!
“Special someone” bras. Aaaah. Those are the ones that are usually DEVICES OF TORTURE so you’re MORE THAN HAPPY to take them off.
Men do like certain surprises. It’s like, dum-dah-dum…unbutton here, unzip there…WHOAAAA. Then you raise a single eyebrow (if you know how) and give them that look.
Packaged panties and crazy patterns. I dunno. I don’t mind patterns it’s just that they usually make the oddest packages - they mix stuff I don’t want with stuff I do!