Jul 06 2008
A Very Special Gift: Once Upon A Time
About a week ago I mentioned that I hoped to write about an incredible gift I had received. At first I wasn’t sure I would even share the gift, as it is private and profound.
But the very nature of the gift is that it should be shared. I have struggled with how to share my very special gift. Some gifts change your life.
I wanted to share my gift with you in such a way that it changes your life for the better.
My gift begins with a story …
Once upon a time, I was Daddy’s Little Girl.
My daddy is young and handsome and strong and I know he will take care of me.
My parents are young and there isn’t much money but I don’t notice the lack.
I love Saturdays. Daddy and I get up early. Just the two of us. I am 4 years old and Mommy is still asleep and the apartment is quiet.
Daddy and I are going grocery shopping and leave early to avoid the rush.
But first we have breakfast. We don’t always go to the same place but there are always nice waitresses and sticky vinyl chairs and a booster seat.
Eating out is a big treat. Eating out with Daddy - a bigger treat!
The years go by and daddy is always working and tired and the house is a mess and everything is weird and I do my best, my very best, to be a good little girl.
I get good grades. I say please. I say thank you.
I follow the rules, I draw inside the lines, I cook, I clean. I’m good.
I can’t fix what is wrong. What is wrong with me?
Mommy and Daddy argue, Mommy cries, Daddy shouts, no one is happy.
Mommy and Daddy separate. I think this is a good thing.
I didn’t know that Daddy and I would separate, that I would no longer be his little girl.
My story is one told over and over in homes across the world.
It’s not a fairytale but it’s one that many know by heart.
Once upon a time, I was Daddy’s Little Girl.
I know the ending to this story but I’m not sure how I’ll get there. As with most of my stories, there will be forgiveness and understanding.
And love. There is always love.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
That’s definitely a personal entry. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I’m glad that you can still be positive about it.
Do you think that it has affected your view and/or personal feelings about your own relationships?
MsQ, this short story touched my heart. Amazing how we can feel emotions from the past over and over. Thank goodness for love.
Derek: Thanks for your empathy. I am sorry I had to go through it as well. But what I went through - it’s the past.
I could not help but be affected by what I went through. If I didn’t think it had any affect on my relationships, I’d still be in that lovely state of Denial!
I’m not so much positive about my childhood as, hmm, understanding of it. It shaped who I am but it’s up to me to decide how much of an influence I want it to continue to have. I have worked very hard on letting it all go because I have seen people who are trapped in the past, who live as if the can change the past and make it better. Or they continue to listen to those voices in the past or they CLING to the pain. It’s a very difficult way to live. People I love dearly are trapped in the past and it is their pain that pushes me to do more with my life.
One friend said, “I think it may be too late…”
I guess it may be “too late” to do some things just because you physically are too old but I think that at the core of the idea that something may be “too late” is achieving a dream and many times the dream is doing something that will make you happy. I’ve seen people believe that it’s too late to be happy.
Or in keeping with the way I wrote this post: we are born and others begin our story. If we want to live the life we were meant to have, then we have to pick up the pen.
Speedy!! Thank you!! But you’re a softy - your heart (awww) is easily touched.
Yes, thank goodness for love.
“People I love dearly are trapped in the past and it is their pain that pushes me to do more with my life.” I can never understand why some people that have been through so much pain in the past keep on plowing along and doing their best & getting up every single time they’re knocked down. Then other people barely make it even under relatively good circumstances. And some people have awful things happen to them in childhood & it seems to make them more determined, while other people it hinders so terribly. I just can’t understand why.
Anyway…since your story is about a gift, I’m going to hope this heartbreaking story comes out with happy ending. It seems like you and your dad are close now, or at least spend some enjoyable time together.
I had no idea your parents were divorced. Never a happy story. But you’re in contact with him now right? Tell us more about the gift.
Jill: I am not quite sure why some people can overcome difficulties either. I dunno if it’s having mentors or someone who believes in you or if it’s some type of inherent characteristic.
I think I’ve read stories about people who had NO support and overcame their difficulties as well as people with with tons of support who never made it.
Of course it has a happy ending!!
Ricardo: I guess I never specifically stated my parents were divorced but I have written about my mom’s foray into online dating…
which implies they are. But then again, marriage doesn’t stop people from dating (I’ve been approached by married men).
I will tell you more about the gift! Just not sure how to write it..
No mention about my special podcast for Springy?? I hope you like it..
Yes, there are stories on both those ends - making it with no support & not making it with support. Actually, I think you & I have emailed about someone who proves the former…sort of. Then again I imagine that there are people that wouldn’t consider a detour in prison as “making it”. But why not if one emerges better equipped for life? Isn’t that how it ideally would work anyway? BTW, do you have any idea what I’m talking about? I don’t. KIDDING! I sort of do, just can’t remember how in depth we discussed this particular story.
Hi Ms Q,
Your story brought back a flood of memories for me. You were daddy’s little girl, my father was my hero. Your parents divorced when you were a child, so did mine. You were no longer daddy’s little girl, and my father went from being my hero to my nemesis. You said it Ms Q. Your story is one that many can relate with. I guess the good news is the past is the past, and a new chapter to the story can be written.
Jeff
Jeff: Thanks for sharing and it makes me wonder at how father-son/mother-daughter/father-daughter/mother-son relationships change during a divorce.
Sometimes it takes a while for the past to stay in the past! It can be so difficult to let things from the past go, be they bad or even good. I know people who cling to old angers and hurts and never move on. I’ve also seen people who dream of the “good old days” and past glories and relive them over and over and never create new good days because they either think they cannot (”too old”) or they think that nothing can compare.