Sep 27 2008
Strength and Weakness
Some of us are strong.
Some of us are weak.
There is inner.
There is outer.
Inner strength.
Outer weakness.
Outer strength.
Inner weakness.
We may appear strong but are filled with unshed tears.
We may look weak yet none know what we endure.
We are a blend of strengths and weaknesses but we are marked as being one or the other.
The weak wish to be strong.
The strong hate the weak.
The weak hate the strong.
The strong wish they could be weak.
I have been weak and I have been strong.
It is not easy being one or the other.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Truer words…
The Strong wish to be weak? At one point I thought that it could not be true. But sometimes the ’strong’ see something in the ‘weak’ that they admire. Something that they can appreciate and something that they may lack. So my mind is now in full agreement of your entire post. Not that I ever question the logic of Ms. Q. But you are always thought provoking.
Ginger: thank you…
UT: I’m glad you pondered my words for a while which is usually what I hope to do barring forays into whackiness.
You also highlighted something I hadn’t thought through as much in that the strong may admire a “weak” quality. For example, sensitivity - in creative fields, sensitivity is thought to be a strength in many ways. Put that same quality into something corporate, suddenly it’s a weakness.
What was foremost in my mind when I wrote how the strong wish to be weak was how tiring being strong can be. As I wrote, I have been strong and I have been weak. But most of the time I have to be the strong one. When everyone turns to you, who do you turn to? I have the support of friends and family and I prefer to be “strong” but sometimes it has been very nice to just have someone else be the strong one.
On another note, feel feel to question my logic! Remember that I drink red wine and if I’m sipping and writing…logic may be iffy.
I wonder about this one all the time. What makes some people strong or weak? And some people are so incredibly strong in some areas of their life and weak in others. It makes no sense to me.
Razor thinks I cry A LOT which I guess is weak and which makes him feel bad. And I told him I used to never cry. I would hyperventilate before crying. But then I got older and I figured out that it’s easier to just cry and get it over with and nobody really cares if you cry or not anyway. Except he does care and I cry anyway.
And when I used to work in public school I used to cry every morning when my alarm went off and I’d cry every Sunday as soon as it started to get dark because I hated my job so much. What was my point? That it’s not really all that easy to decide what is weakness and what isn’t. I think it’s a little easier to point out where someone tends toward weakness than whether or not they’re a weak person in general. But I don’t think it’s really that easy to just point to someone and declare them weak or strong. I have friends whose strengths I admire and will never posses. And maybe I’m weaker than them in general or maybe I have different strengths that they admire.
In any case, totally off subject:
“I have been weak and I have been strong.
It is not easy being one or the other.”
That last part reminds me of something my grandmother used to say, “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. And rich is better.” I know - that has nothing to do with the post. But it just reminded me of my “nana”.
“We may appear strong but are filled with unshed tears.”
Um. Wow. That describes me very well….
Jill: I dunno what makes some people strong and some people weak. It’s almost like how 2 different people could have been raised in similar bad circumstances and one rises about and move on and another blames the world and doesn’t do anything. Is it genetic? Is it having someone believe in you (or not) in some point in your life?
Also some strength is brittle - it will shatter under the right circumstances. Kinda like the “mighty oak tree” - while others have a giving strength “bend like the willow”
Men are socialized to view crying as weak. I read somewhere that for women, crying is an emotional release. So we cry after intense emotional moments good/bad/happy/sad cry-cry-cry.
In general. I used to hold back tears in my teens and 20s and worked on being more in control. Now I cry fairly easily:a little boy helping his littler sister with her coat, sappy love scenes, someone sharing something painful with me (and I may not know them all that well!).
Men like to be able to fix something. When a woman cries and there doesn’t seem to be anything for them to fix or that they can’t fix, they feel helpless. Maybe tell Razor what you want him to do when you have to cry so he has an action plan! Like, “Sniff-sniff - I’d feel SO MUCH BETTER if that painting on the wall was at my eye level..” or (more seriously) - “I just need to cry right now and it’d be so nice if I could do this on the couch with your arms around me..”
I agree that people are a set of strengths and weaknesses so we really shouldn’t label someone as one or the other. We do tend to label ourselves though. My mom views herself as weak so she interacts with the world from that perspective. I try to encourage her to do more and she will tell me that she is not strong like me and she’s “just a little old lady”
The world is a scary place for mom.
You’re right about my last phrase - it DOES sound like what your nana said. I probably unintentionally echoed the phrasing.
Meleah: Aww. Dang. You deal with a lot and you probably try to appear strong for your son and for people in general. I see you both as incredibly strong in dealing with your health issues as best you can and incredibly HUMAN for feeling so frail.
Thank You.
The other day I told him something along the lines of “I’m crying because I’m going to have to cry and you don’t like it when I cry and there’s nothing you can do and things will turn out okay in the end but I’m still going to have to cry.” And he I think is trying to get used to the fact that it’s nothing he’s done wrong to make me cry.
I’ve been a little weepier than usual lately because with the economy the way it is things have been REALLY up and down with the moving/house. And I just don’t take that kind of thing all that well. I mean, even without the economy being in the toilet I have a hard time taking in stride the whole roller coaster ride of putting an offer and all the anticipation and stuff, but with the banks the way they are now, it’s been totally beyond me.
My aunt said something similar about my grandfather the other day to your mom’s “just a little old lady” thing. She got upset about no one being able to help him with a toothache and I think she might have chewed someone out where he’s in hospice. He’s like 97 or 98 and he said something about being afraid to speak up to anyone. And he was so ferocious even into his 90s! But that’s different in that it sounds like this has been kind of a life long thing for your mom.
I need to chew on this. I shall return.
Weakness is not always a sign of frailty, but rather an open and vulnerable soul, ready to accept the cries of reality. Strong shell, soft heart … therin lies the balance of few.
Ricardo: Look forward to your comments!
Speedy!! I agree! You expressed that so well.
It becomes difficult depending on the circumstance really. When the strong points and weakpoints are not fully tested is not as painful because you are not thrown out of your comfort zone. Weaknesses can be made stronger by working them out. But this is much easier said than done.