Feb 06 2008
Mom Apologizes
I think I was about 17 years old when my mom first apologized to me.
My mom is extremely nearsighted. Her mom was nearsighted. So was her dad.
My mom and her brothers had to wear braces.
My mom was prone to cavities and continues to have problems with her teeth.
My mom was five-foot-one. She’s maybe five-foot-one-half-inches now.
My dad didn’t start to wear glasses until sometimes in his thirties.
My dad has straight teeth and I don’t think he has a single cavity.
His brothers and sisters have similar smiles.
My dad is five-foot-five. Like mom, he seems to have shrunk.
Anyway, it was sometime around my senior year in high school when it became apparent that I wasn’t going to have any growth spurt. Of course, I could have had one but it just wasn’t visible to the naked eye.
I was four-foot-ten-and-three-quarter-inches in high school. Nothing has altered that fact.
I was probably complaining about how difficult it was to buy clothes when my mom first apologized. She’s apologized for the same thing repeatedly, despite my saying that really, it’s OKAY.
“I’m sorry! When I met your dad I thought, ‘He has good eyes, he has good teeth’…I never thought about his height!”
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Wow… Well, teeth and eyes are important. Unless you wanted to become a basketball player, the importance of height isn’t that great of a factor.
You’re a female. When females are shorter than their male counter parts, it comes with a comfort that the man is dominant. Show me a man who likes a tall woman and I’ll show you a man who is a midget or cannot grow himself.
Are you happy with your height? Do you wish to be taller?
I’m a tall dude. I’ve found that being tall (not to mention black) comes with stereotypes. One thing is for sure, people expect you to reach places that they cannot. Call me the human ladder and you would have described my first job.
I was tall, briefly. When we moved to Thailand I went from “usually shortest person around” to “taller than just about everyone” at 5′3″. It was a great experience.
I think, though, your mom was wise to opt for good eyes and teeth.
My husband is 11 inches taller than me. It looks like some of my sons are going to be rather tall, and some…maybe not. When the shorter ones give me grief about their height being MY FAULT, I tell them, “Hey, I did the best I could to improve the gene pool.”
At least, as women, we can wear high heels. People think we’re trying to be sexy, when really we just want to see…
UT: I’ve always found it amusing that my mom had such a practical response to my dad. Then again, most women do wonder “how will the children look” and then ponder the good and bad features of the man. My dad was thought of as handome in his day. I am not thinking that mom *seriously* thought about his teeth and eyes although a scraggly smile might have stopped her.
Tall and black is you? I am sure stereotypes abound! Tiny and Chinese am I. Stereotypes abounded in my early years. Now, not so much, mainly because I don’t look at “soft” as I did when I was younger. Soft = innocent/naive.
I am happy with my height. I mean, it’s not something I can change so I accepted it a long time ago. One thing that height gives is that it adds to whatever you already have. I’ve always been considered “cute” but if I were say, 5′7″- I might have hit the “beautiful” mark. Men get the same thing - I’ve seen short handsome men but a tall handsome man has more imapct.
I really would not want to be any height that what I have. I do my best to stay at my height (lift weights, take calcium) since bone loss runs on my dad’s side. Mom’s side seems to have strong bones so I’m rooting for that! Genes in action.
Tall people are thought of as ladders - I’ve asked taller people to reach up for things all the time. I think I have a pretty good excuse though! Sounds like we’d create quite a picture if we stood side by side!
Christine: Being taller than everyone is a great experience! I didn’t know you were petite (in my imagination, you were 5′4″-5-6″). I once stood on this little step chair for kids to reach up for something. I then realized that HEY, this is the way most people see the world! My eye-level is much lower. I was at a home where 2 Filipina sisters lived and I noticed that all the decorations were lower since they were not much taller than I! It actually felt a bit like being in a playhouse.
Whenever I meet a woman shorter than I, I think, DANG, she’s short! I mean, being shorter than me is pretty dang short. What I find interesting is that a few will DENY being shorter than I!! I tell them my height of 4′10 3/4″ and they say, “I am four-eleven!” I say, “I’m not four-eleven, I can only DREAM of four-eleven…” Depending on the person, I don’t push my point. People can be very sensitive!
When I do push, it may be something like, “Hmmm..my shoulders are higher than yours…you could have a really long neck…”
When it comes to your sons and their height I wonder if the shorter ones are the cuter ones? I have seen that happen in not only my family but others - it’s like nature says, “I can either use all my energy for height..or for beauty, whaddya want?” The short brother is usually the one that is better looking. Not that you want to telll your children that one is better looking than the other!
I learned in biology class that there is no “average” when it comes to height. If I had a child with someone 6′4″ - I would have short kids and tall kids in our respective gene pool range (both my parents have taller siblings) .
You’re tall enough to wear high heels. In my case, wearing heels barely makes a dent. Which is a great excuse for me NOT to wear them!
I’m 5′10″ and my wife is a little bit short than I. I don’t know how tall my daughter will be when she grows up but she got her blue eyes from my father-in-law and her blonde hair from me. I think her attitude came from her mother…
There are worse things to inherit from your parents than shortness and bad teeth. Be thankful your parents do not suffer from heart problems or other physical defects.
HTMKSteve: You are so right that there are worse things to inherit from your parents! I do have an allergy to fish (can’t eat it) which ain’t even close to your beef allergy!
Overall, my family has no major health problems that aren’t preventable.
I like my height (or lack of it). It’s who I am. I’d be strange for me to be over 5 feet.
Let me just say how happy I was to have hit a growth spurt. i was undersized until later in high school. thank god I hit 6 feet. that’s a good height.
I have a female friend that hates her height but it is really not that bad. I’m sure you are just fine. And the rest with the teeth and all seems to have worked out splendidly for you.
I’m watching an Asian horror film festival right now and there are so many beautiful women in these films that it’s high time I pay a visit to this part of the world. I am inspired by these scream queens.
ricardo: 6 feet is a good height! It’s difficult for a man to be short. I know you’re not acting but when you did, 6 feet is something like the minimum height for actors, right?
I like my height and find it a bit funny. That’s why I’m so precise, this four-foot-ten-and-three-quarter-inches thing I say. I’ve been told that many women under 5 feet do the same thing!
I think it’s hard to not like something about yourself that you cannot change. I hope your female friend learns to accept her height.
So you’re finally discovering how lovely Asian women are?? What took you so long??!!
I’ve loved Asian women all along but it was seeing them scantily clad in excess that lit the fire. I saw a Japanese film and a Korean film. There will be more on tomorrow night. I say it’s a dead heat between the cuties of Japan and Korea. Perhaps a Chinese film will be thrown in as well. My next post about Jewish matchmaking will delve into my desire about exploring the mysteries of Asia and the world!
6 feet is the minimum for a lead man role. So I was just right. And I had a few lead man roles. This rule mostly applies to the stage. Film does not matter. Look at guys like Stallone and Tom Cruise. They are short.
Ricardo: Of course I put in my vote for the Chinese woman
Jewish matchmaking? I’m sure you’ve noticed that Jewish men tend to marry Chinese women. They certainly do around where I live! I’ve spoken to a few people about it and the match makes sense - similar backgrounds (conservative, go to school, get good grades, get a job, etc. etc), family ties and all that. One side focuses on business and medicine, the other side focuses on science and business.
Jewish-Chinese marriage - very common! And of course the children are beautiful. I think a little bit of Asian mixed in with any race adds a nice touch.
Regarding height - the men on film are still pretty tall on average. Tom Cruise is what, average height? But he looks much shorter on screen. I thought Danny Devito was uh, a “little person” (except he has proportional limbs) and learned he is 5 feet tall.
I worry a lot about the height thing for my kids. I’m only probably five two & my ex husband is the same height. I’m just hoping both my kids make five feet. It had never occurred to me to worry about height either.
On the Jewish-Chinese marriage - I only know one couple. But that is interesting that it’s common in your area. I wonder if it’s less common here, or if it just happens that I don’t know them?
Jill: your ex is the same height? Dang. He is a short guy. Not that that’s a bad thing but he’s a short guy.
People don’t take you all that seriously when you’re short. Of course, there is short and there is Really Short. I am Really Short. I used to feel a bit like a cartoon character. Not so much now. Now I sometimes forget that I am so short. Then I see photos. Dang there’s a lot of looming going on around me.
I’m okay with being short but tall and skinny is what’s in style now. Tall men have always been in style.
Regarding the Jewish (man) and Chinese (woman) marriages - it’s running amok where I am. My cousin (ok, she’s a Japanese-Chinese mix) married a Jewish guy. When I was in high school I had crushes on Jewish guys. Not that I thought of them as Jewish. I only put 2 and 2 together later on when I thought of them and noticed their last names ended in ’stein, -blatt, -tz…
Does Houston have a lot of Chinese?
There must be - the area just a couple blocks from where I used to live, the street signs are in English & Chinese. I think in some places in Houston they’re English & Vietnamese.
I was not able to get into the Jewish Asian thing on my latest entry. It would have been too long but I have heard of this. It’s not common here but I’ve read about it happening in places in NYC and other areas.
I have also noticed that for some odd reason women dig the fact that I am now Jewish. Why? I haven’t a clue. But they have told me such.
Jill: well there are actual signs that in Houston, There Be Asians!
Ricardo: I am sure it’s ALL demographics.
Why woman find you more attractive as a Jewish boy? Hmmm. Off the top of my head, I would guess that Jewish men are thought of as more stable. There is also the fact that if you tell them you actually converted, that says something about the type of person you are - you have beliefs that you are passionate about. That’s attractive.
For me, I like the fact that someone has some sort of belief in a high power. I used to was agnostic but now have moved towards spiritual - I believe there is more to this life than what is seen. When I see online dating profile and the man states he is an atheist? Nggguh.
Something about that lack of belief, it seems like such a hopeless way to live…
Being tall sucks.